I am the face of #MAID (assisted-death) in Canada.
As a 42 year old woman with a rare complication of lupus + iatrogenic injuries I will only cost the 'system'. I want to live but can’t get the care I need + have been approved for MAID.
This was me a year and a half ago right before my health was devastated by medical negligence and malpractice, in the form of a catastrophically damaging hospitalisation, misprescribed unnecessary high prolonged doses of prednisone, and a bad reaction to Rituximab infusions.
I’ve been begging for care especially with my GI symptoms which are slowly killing me, my specialists have mostly abandoned me, and my medical decline is being attributed to “psychological distress” and my illness (which is absolute BS, it had improved on IVIG).
I won’t be here much longer because I can’t even access palliative care and have been left in unbearable suffering. I can barely get up or leave the house anymore (which I must weekly to access IVIIG). #MAID is my only way out. #MaidWithoutAid
See my pinned post for more, and if you know a compassionate GI or pain management doctor in Vancouver who could help me very urgently, please let me know. I have been on the verge of calling to go through with MAID for months and get sicker every day. I can’t keep doing this.
Update: FINALLY going to get this scope next week if I can just hang in till then. Terrified, I’m so frail and immune suppressed, but current internist came through and will hopefully try and protect me in there. It’s this or ☠️ so I guess this is happening. 😭
ps. Thank you so much everyone who’s shared and been supportive. I really don’t know if I can be helped, and have so many other daunting medical issues. but at least we have a chance to find out what the heck is going on with my bowel. 🤞💕
ps. People keep retweeting this saying I’m “poor” (financially) and that’s why this is happening. While that is true for many, I’m very lucky not to be poor. We are ok for now thanks to family support. Money can’t buy care in Canada. People who are also poor don’t stand a chance.
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Moved to a different room. The internist came and told me he doesn’t even believe the bad hospitalisation and prednisone and Rituximab did this to me. He doesn’t believe me that this wasn’t the natural course of my illness.
He is only doing the scope out of obligation and said they won’t find anything and even if they do I can’t tolerate treatments anyway. And that if they don’t find anything that there’s no other help for me except seeing a nutritionist.
He told the nurses I’m anxious when I said I was scared to be in the room with RSV when I’m immune suppressed. I don’t know what the point of this is. I just want to go home. :(
This thread is on my reaction to the unnecessarily prescribed high dose prednisone. I can’t believe I’m going to post these online but I’m all in at this point. The pics are just before, and then the videos are after ~3 + 5 months on 30mg a day. I can barely look at them. twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I’m rubbing my face because I can’t feel it. Before this, while sickly, I had excellent cognitive function, good mental health, + completely normal control over my body/movement, as well as normal proprioception and sensation aside from the new burning (see pinned post).
It was like I suddenly developed severe Parkinson’s, MS, and dementia. I could barely control my limbs, was so weak, aware and able to communicate but drugged out of my mind and had a hard time staying awake. Could barely control my body in the video, slurred speech.
Quick update: Just waiting for the call to head in to hospital. Absolutely terrified after my previous experiences (at different hospitals) especially with what bad shape I’m in, but hoping somehow this won’t be as bad, and my internist will help protect me as best he can.
I can’t do interviews right now or keep up with DMs or replies anymore (especially people asking questions I’ve answered dozens of times already) but thanks to everyone who’s tried to help, especially those who have the same condition as me or who have local medical connections.
I wish it was my disease (while complex) causing all of this, it would be so much easier to try and treat. The damage from the prednisone and Rituximab on top of a complex/rare disease is just too much for my body or most doctors. ps. And no surprise, still no GI doc/pain mgmt.
What I would give to have my old pre-prednisone brain fully back. It’s slowly coming along, but I still feel so dizzy and disoriented and have trouble concentrating. I really miss my old brain. I’m so high functioning/sharp normally that even diminished some doctors…
Didn’t believe how messed up I was. I was probably at best 40% of my normal capacity, at worst 10% for so long. That’s why it took so long to get on here and write about this. Maybe getting to around 70% now? I hate it. I miss reading, and just being able to rest and feel normal.
I don’t know if people with strokes or other brain injuries feel like this too, or what exactly is going on. My vision is still blurry (optometrist couldn’t see why, eventually will go to ophthalmologist if I get better enough). Neurologist is no help.
Quick check in - even with comments limited my #IAmTheFaceOfMaid post has absolutely taken on a life of its own. Not in a good way. And yet… 1.7M views doesn’t get me a GI doctor and the medical care I need to survive this.
I’ve been so tempted to lock down my account but…desperate times. I KNOW there are doctors in #Vancouver who could help me if they wanted to. But my referrals, even if I can get them, always get rejected. I need someone WILLING as well as able. @DoctorsOfBC
I don’t want to have to go to the media for this, I never wanted this kind of attention nevermind when I’m in this kind of state (I’m not a super vain person but I look as horrendous as I feel and barely recognise myself anymore). But they are more interested than anyone medical.
Suddenly becoming the face of #MAID to this level is honeslty just kind of part of this never ending nightmare. I’m so tempted to lock my account. But until I get a GI doctor or find someone that can really help me, unless I really can’t take one more day, I have to keep going.
I have so much more to say about healthcare and illness and disability and #MAID, but right now, I just need to get through this. Will post more if I can, but if I disappear it’s (hopefully) to rest and survive the hospital and testing, and whatever is next.
If there is a compassionate GI doctor who can really try and help in Vancouver, please DM me or my spouse @brunodbo. I know doctors are not gods but I need a hero right now, someone with a can-do attitude. And pain mgmt/palliative asap to survive in the meantime.