Thread by @EstherLCHoward

My Detrans Story:

2010: questioning gender due to exposure to feminist, Leftist, and Marxist texts at university. Taught that women are victims, not worth being a woman, so I'd be better off as a man. I hated myself and my body. Started masturbating due to porn book at uni.

2011: Gender Dysphoria increased, a lot of questioning, started to think about transitioning. Started self-harming (cutting). Started to see a psychologist. She didn't know what to do with me. Had a meltdown on New Year's Eve. Parents worried.

2012: Joined Queer club at uni. Socially transitioned. Came out to parents. Cut off my hair. Started binding breasts. Chose male name 'Basil' and he/him/his pronouns. Already a tomboy so didn't need to change to masculine clothes, except for men's underwear.

2012 (cont): Started seeing psychiatrist. Referred to gender psych. Told 'not trans', GD due to Autism, OCD, and tocophobia. Wait and see approach. Started psych meds, became suicidal. First of many admissions to psych hospital (on and off from 2012 - 2022).

2013-2014: Leagally changed name to Basil. Officially changed gender to male at uni. Parents refused to call me Basil and never affirmed gender. They thought I was Autistic. Parents found new psychiatrist and psychologist, both specialised in Autism.

2014 (cont): Diagnosed with Autism. In denial for 1 year. Did 8 months of DBT. Mostly stopped self-harming, but still suicidal. Therapy for Autism, tocophobia, and other mental health problems.

2015: Graduated from uni. Started dating straight man. Changed from Baptist church to Anglican; felt very welcome and accepted for who I was. Boyfriend concerned about gender identity, he felt uncomfortable dating trans man. Referred to me with she/her pronouns. Felt ok.

2016: Started wearing kilts and pink clothing. Ambiguous gender presentation. Questioned by others if still male. Confused. Broke up with boyfriend. Started dating girls. Continued therapy. Started to question gender identity.

2017: Came out as gender fluid and pansexual. More concerned with personality than gender. Legally changed name to 'Esther'. Stopped chest binding. Wanted to become a nun (wanted to run away from everything), didn't work out. Started dating trans woman.

2018: Still dating Autistic trans woman. Gender neutral nickname 'Mattie'. They/them pronouns. Trans girlfriend started HRT, became bitchy, cheated on me with trans woman, I dumped her. Still gender fluid. Went back to gender psych.

2018 (cont): Gender psych proved right, I was not trans but instead gender fluid. Got hysterectomy for tocophobia, no regret, best thing I ever did. Increase in feminine identity. Considered full social destransition.

2019: Moved from city to country. Identified as female, left past behind me. Started dating straight cowboy. 1st suicide attempt. Diagnosed with BPD.

2020: Still dating cowboy. 2nd suicide attempt. Vowed to never attempt again, I was alive for a reason, God had a purpose for me. Still wearing men's underwear. Still vulnerable, tempted to get 'top surgery' by a malpractising dr, said 'NO!'.

2021: Broke up with cowboy. Regret, but moved on. Contined psychotherapy and hospitalisations. Presented conference paper about tocopobia, mentioned link with female Autism and ROGD: lived experience.

2022: New boyfriend, he didn't like me wearing men's underwear. During hospitalisation watched @MattWalshBlog 'What is a Woman?' and read book. Stopped wearing men's underwear. Detransition complete, learned to love and accept myself as a woman...

2022 (cont): ...came out to parents as women, told them I loved them and thanked them for their support. Thanked God that I was a woman wonderfully and fearfully made by Him ❤

#detrans please like and retweet.

Please RT: @ChoooCole @Molly_Thai27 @OliLondonTV @Ollie_Bun @TaniaAMarshall @2022affirmation @detransaqua @eviepilled @TullipR @againstgrmrs @ACLobby @PaulineHansonOz @RealMarkLatham @sometherapist @OneNationAus @MattWalshBlog and anyone I've forgotten ❤

@virreril @Luniya_detrans @catcattinson @somenuancepls

I made a typo: 'as a woman', not 'as women'.
@elonmusk suggestion for an edit option please.

@IAmIronMan42522 did you see this thread I posted earlier today?

Thank you @TaniaAMarshall for diagnosing me with Autism and for being a positive role model in my life ❤ Without your help and support I might have ended up medically transitioning.
#detrans #autism #ROGD

Thanks everyone for liking, retweeting, and the supportive comments. I'm not sharing my story for me, I'm sharing it so that we can save minors and vulnerable adults from medically transitioning.