Thread by @LuciaOC_

I’m home after 30 much-needed days in a specialist in-patient treatment centre for PTSD. Here are some things I learned, or re-learned, or consolidated (and yes, I watched Good Will Hunting for the first time in rehab):

1. Really bad things happen to really, really good people.

When I arrived, a therapist told me that it takes a village to recover from trauma. “Here is your village,” he said, motioning to the other patients.
And what a village they were. It astounds me that people can be so kind and caring in the face of their own unbearable suffering.

They taught me about reciprocity in relationships. Trauma patients often believe that the only way to form connections is to care for others without expecting any care in return — because we feel we don’t deserve it, or because the people around us haven’t had capacity to give it

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Real love moves freely in both directions.

2. Believing that you can make yourself strong or kind or smart enough to resolve someone else’s trauma is itself a trauma response. Everyone has to do this work for themselves. You are no match for someone else’s unexamined pain. This is not a failure. This is a fact.

3. To all trauma survivors: you were not put on this earth to save, or even improve, the lives of people who would not do the same for you — whether by virtue of their lack of care or simply their lack of capacity.

4. Here’s a mantra I loved from our sessions about boundaries and reciprocity:

“I create what I think and feel and I am in control of what I do or do not do. The same is true for you. We need only note the impact of our reality on each other.”

5. I’m going to finish this tomorrow because I just read through all the heartfelt notes from fellow patients in my leaving book and now I need to have a big cry.

But I wanted to finish this thread by saying thank you to everyone on here for all the love and support recently ❤️

Oh and a very happy #InternationalWomensDay

The clinic is one of the only specialist in-patient trauma treatment centres in the world. The program is based on re-wiring the nervous system using a neurobiological treatment known as the polyvagal method, which can relieve trauma-related illness and MANY other PSTD symptoms

Learning about the neurobiological and neurophysiological impacts of trauma on the nervous system has completely changed my perspective. I thought I knew a lot about trauma & recovery, having written two books on the subject, but there was so much I haven’t understood until now.