Thread by @jobagdonuts

Today I will pretend like I’m a conservative and reimagine the events of #January6th based on newly released footage.

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🚨BREAKING 🚨 Here we see patriotic Trump supporters kindly handing bike racks to officers so they have a place to park their bicycles.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage, we see kind Trump supporters calmly looking for Nancy Pelosi to thank her for all the wonderful bipartisan work she’s done through the years.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage, we see kind Trump supporters assisting riot police with aerosol lubrication after they got stuck because they all tried to walk out the door at the same time after giving Trump supporters tours of the magnificent Capitol.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage we see Ray Epps, disguised as Fat Joe Biggs, inciting Trump supporters, who are really Antifa, to bust through police barricades because they are giving calm, peaceful tours inside the Capitol.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage we see kind Trump supporters offering a police officer a chair after a hard day work giving tours to other peaceful Trump supporters.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage, unarmed patriot Ashli Babbitt is murdered while climbing through a busted window into the Speaker’s Lobby to let Nancy Pelosi know Antifa was outside and that she should call the National Guard.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage, we see Trump supporters and 2A purists backing the blue and not infringing.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage, we see Capitol Police totally letting peaceful Trump supporters walk right into the Capitol building so they can support the constitution during this important constitutional event.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage, we have definitive proof that peaceful Trump supporters were unarmed and had no weapons of any kind.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage, we see Antifa, disguised as the FBI, disguised as Proud Boys, battling with police so they could get inside the Capitol so they could have one of those very peaceful tours.

🚨BREAKING 🚨 In previously unreleased footage, the QAnon Shaman makes it clear that Donald Trump had absolutely no influence on his actions whatsoever and he was definitely not at the Capitol to keep Trump in power against the will of the people.