My Dearest Vladimir

How's your war going in Ukraine? Did I see you indicted by some international court? Isn't that going to limit your travel?

I'm miserable. That Manhattan DA is going to arrest me on Tuesday.

I miss hearing your voice. Couldn't you just call me, just for a
My Sweetest Trumpy-Pumpkin

Daddy's a bit busy with this war in Ukraine. My incompetent army is just fucking losing & goddamned retreating all the time. And now Poland & Slovakia are sending fighter jets to Ukraine. Mig 29s. Planes that were made here in Russia! That is so unfair
Dearest Chairman Kim Jong-Un

I noticed you fired up some rockets again. Were you selling some missiles to Russia? Did you talk to Vladimir Putin? Did he say anything about me? He isn't returning my calls

How I miss the gentle touch of your big hand in mine when we had our walks
Yo, Dotard

Damn, man! What part of "we're over" don't you get? I dumped you 3 years ago! Your letters are pathetic. Grow up, man

If you're lonely, why don't you go back to that Moscow pee tape prostitute? The one who looks like Ivanka? She's the only one who ever made you smile
My Dearest Ivanka

I'm miserable. Vladimir isn't taking my calls and Chairman Kim just sent me a mean letter. Now Chris Christie is mocking me on TV and I found out that Tucker Carlson also hates me.

Could you come cuddle with me like old times on a My Pillow, & then have Goya
Daddy,

Thank you for the wonderful invitation. I'm busy right now with my attorneys about the mess we have in New York

Couldn't you ask Rent-A-Mom to fluff up your My Pillow & do your tuckums? You can always ask Gary Busey's son to prepare some Goya? The tall freak we call Eric
My Dear Melonia

I am miserable. Now Corcoran has to go tell the Grand Jury about all of our crimes together. Putin is not returning my calls. Kim Jong Un has broken up with me. And Ivanka won't visit my bedroom

Could you come to Mar-A-Lago, for old times sakes, just this once?
Donald,

I told you not to write! I'm testifying in Manhattan against you. Why don't you ask your Playboy Bunny to service you for $130,000? Or ask that big-titted pornstar to spank you for $125,000?

Go toss some ketchup on the wall. I really don't care, do you?

PS Be Best
Dear Lindsey

I'm miserable. The media are conspiring to make me look bad. Even those traitors at Fox are reporting that I will be arrested. And I suspect Melonia is wearing a wire

If you could come to Mar-A-Lago, just for one night? I won't make you wear that gimp outfit if you
Dear Mr President

Thank you for your generous invitation. I always cherish our moments together, even the intimate ones that I can never forget. This time I'm in a little bit of a pickle with that damned Georgia DA hounding me about the subpoena. Maybe next time? Did you ask Ted
Dear Ted

I know I've said your wife is ugly but well, let's be honest. She is ugly. Still, my Melonia is not the nude model she once was, either. I think she's wearing a wire

Look I have Mar-A-Lago to myself. Would you mind? Just 1 more time. Lindsey's gimp outfit fits you well
Donald, dude!

I love you, man! I was just about to hop on a plane to Cancun but I'll change my booking. When you're finished, we can spoon again. I'll bring your favorite book by Dr Seuss in the Rat In The Hat series. I'll read you your favorite poem: Green Eggs & #Arrestmas

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Tomi T Ahonen Moved to Post, Spoutible & Mastodon

Tomi T Ahonen Moved to Post, Spoutible & Mastodon Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @tomiahonen

Oct 15, 2023
GAG ORDER THREAD

On Monday Judge Chutkan in DC (Jack Smith 2) case will hold a hearing about putting a gag order on Herr Hezbollah, the nation's Terrorist-In-Chief. Trump was under protective order. He breached it many times. So this is now his 'final warning'

Let's do a Thread Image
GAG ORDER THREAD/2

Don't look at me like that! This is JUSTICE. It is EXACTLY the same legal standard that would apply to you and me. Nothing more, nothing less. Trump is a FIRST TIME OFFENDER; has NEVER been convicted of any crime (yet). He was put on a 'protective order' FIRST Image
GAG ORDER THREAD/3

Then Trump repeatedly broke that protective order. We WITNESSED IT LIVE on TV and on social media, REPEATEDLY

But the Judge CANNOT do anything about it. Until she is FORMALLY told by the prosecution. She CANNOT do anything yet. It would be same for you and me Image
Read 17 tweets
Oct 14, 2023
Justice IS COMING

We certainly feel it was taking too long. In reality this is about par for the course, in some ways FASTER than normal, for such a large criminal conspiracy. Timing is similar to Watergate

FIRST of PLANNERS of Jan 6 go to trial, in Georgia in two weeks !!!
Image
So January 6th, 2021 was two years and 9 months ago. Over 1,000 of the violent mob have been caught, over half prosecuted, and prison sentences for those running up to more than a decade in prison. That is justice

The ORGANIZERS of the Jan 6th plot are Trump, the Seditious Six.. Image
The ORGANIZERS of Jan 6 are
Trump
Seditious Six (Giuliani, Flynn etc)
Evil Eleven of Congress (Gosar, Gym, Gaetz etc)
and a handful others (Roger Stone, Bannon etc)
They are ALL CAUGHT

Jack Smith STARTED to prosecute the organizers. Look who he has as WITNESSES to this crime Image
Read 10 tweets
Oct 12, 2023
Trump calls Hezbollah "very smart" for their terrorist attack? Same Senile Man called Putin smart for invading Ukraine. And called murdering dictators MBS and Kim Jong Un smart

Meanwhile Trump has called HIS OWN CABINET and HIS OWN GENERALS idiots & stupid

Ok, Trumpo, I'm game
Let's get Trump opinions by HIS OWN Generals:

General Mattis: Trump's not mature, a 5th grader
General McMaster: he's a dope, kindergartner idiot
Colonel Esper: irresponsible
General Milley: crazy
General Hytin: an idiot
General Kelly: Trump's crazy, an unhinged idiot

Next... Image
Then let's ask Trump White House staff, people Trump selected:

VP Pence: Trump is reckless
CoS 1 Priebus: he's an idiot
CoS 2 (Kelly, in above)
CoS 3 Mulvaney: terrible human being, a clown show
CoS 4 Meadows: Trump is worthless
SoS Tillerson: he's a fucking moron

and more... Image
Read 7 tweets
Oct 11, 2023
New York New York Thread /1

Trump was massively embarrassed in New York, and that trial still continues. But this incident (Trump sitting in NY court for 3 days and then bailed) exposes insight into how incredibly stupid, and self-destructive Trump is

Let's do a Thread Image
New York New York Thread /2

So what happened? Trump sat in the civil trial - he is NOT required to be there (he must attend all criminal trials which start in March 2024). He feuded with the judge, got hit with a gag order, then stormed out of New York. Let's see how dumb it was Image
New York New York Thread /3

Donald the Duck McTrump's whole brand is based on the carefully constructed fake illusion, that he is somehow a 'billionaire'. WE know he is not. That Trump is a fake, a con-artist, living on other people's money. But his SUPPORTERS believe that lie Image
Read 16 tweets
Oct 3, 2023
What happens next? The House cannot conduct any other business until it has selected a new House Speaker. The GOP is in civil war. It may be chaos for a while. Most likely they find a suitable Republican Speaker

DEMs do not have votes for DEM Speaker

BUT DEMs could make a deal Image
If a slice of Republicans (as few as 6) ally with DEMs, then that alliance could select (a Republican) speaker

Realistically the most logical such choice is an EX House Republican, like Liz Cheney

Because of GOP civil war, DEMs have leverage now Image
This is the deal I suggest:

DEMs make deal for ANY Republican who they can trust (like Liz Cheney, Kinzinger) where promise is 2 House Votes every week. One vote on legislation provided by GOP, the other vote legislation provided by DEMs. Both will get a floor vote each week Image
Read 4 tweets
Oct 1, 2023
Flipper Thread/1

With Friday's bombshell news in court filing by Jack Smith of 3 more prosecution witnesses - now just about as big as they come - let's do a Thread about the flippers in Trump's life, the rats who all testify under oath, in criminal courts, against Trump Image
Flipper Thread/2

Trump committed an act of insurgency against America. That word is rarely used. The legal EFFECT is the same as 'treason'. Trump committed a crime which is essentially as bad as treason

So who does Jack Smith have as a witness? Trump's OWN Attorney General Barr Image
Flipper Thread/3

Bill Barr was not just the nation's top lawyer, as Attorney General, when this plot was first hatched - Barr learned of the idea - and TOLD TRUMP IT IS ILLEGAL. That is what Barr will testify under oath. That Trump KNEW this plot is illegal

But it gets worse Image
Read 24 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us!

:(