Chittukuruvi Profile picture
Apr 24 11 tweets 3 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
#genderfluid #genderbender #humor #SarcasmAlert Via WA

On the issue that sexual organs don't decide your gender😂

One fine day, in the nyayalay, an earthshaking argument was in progress....

Banda: Your Honor, this cattle seller Chanda has cheated me.
I wanted to buy two cows and paid him ₹ 1 Lakh for two cows. But he as sold me two bullocks. This is udder cheating...

Justice MoonCho: Why did you cheat him ?

Chanda:_ I have not cheated Your Honor. I sold him a pair of cattle for ₹ 1 Lakh.
Justice MoonCho: What nonsense ? I can clearly see two bullocks there in the image produced as evidence.

Chanda: Your Honor, I would humbly like to remind you that there is nothing like absolute male or absolute female. Gender is not about genitals alone.
It goes beyond the physical gender at birth. Both my cattle have voluntarily recognized themselves as cows and their pronouns are She / Her. Hence I have done nothing wrong Your Honor.

Justice MoonCho: Are you acting smart ? Are you challenging me ?
Chanda: I would beg to differ Your Honor. I'm neither acting smart nor challenging you. In fact, I am following you in letter and spirit. I have never believed in the original interpretation of the Constitution, just like you.
Hence I had constructed gender neutral sheds for my cattle. I don't even call them cows and bullocks but I use the gender neutral word cattle. Each cattle has absolute freedom to choose its own gender. I reiterate both the cattle I sold to Banda recognize themselves as cows.
Justice MoonCho: Shut up you cantankerous swindler. Cow is supposed to yield milk. The cattle you sold won't provide milk to Banda, whose profession is to sell milk. What will a milkman do with bullocks. You must give him two cows and take back bullocks from him. That's my order.
Chanda: But Your Honor, what will happen to "Gaay Pride" 🌈 ? Both of them recognize themselves as "Gaay". In fact, I humbly request your kindness to declare Gaay (cow) and Bail (bullock) words as outdated. We must use "milking cattle" and "non-milking cattle".
We need more and more newer interpretations of the Constitution Your Honor. You are the beacon light of this progressive movement. I hope the honorable Court dispenses justice, not only to me but to my cattle too.
Justice MoonCho: Court needs time for further deliberations and interpretations. Until the Court arrives at a final conclusion, Banda is ordered to keep the "non-milking cattle" in their possession. Court is adjourned.

To be Continued.........
😂😛

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More from @chittukuruvi4

Mar 29
Let me narrate my experience from a very close quarter. Case 1: SBI S/B A/c holders can take a Personal Accident policy from any SBI Branch and the premium gets deducted from their SB Account after a proposal form gets submitted at the Branch.
There was a Lady who was part of a branch that served a Central Govt organization. In that area, the men folks used to spend their money on booze and by the 20th of the month, they will end up in fin related issues. And if the breadwinner dies, family would be in doldrums.
What this Lady did was to talk to these workers, told them about this policy, elaborated on the financial safety and security that it would provide at a nominal cost. (In the initial days, Sum Insured was Rs. 4.00 Lakhs at a premium of Rs. 100/-). It got changed later.
Read 5 tweets
Mar 29
Got this on WA - fairly well analysed. ///

Soros Tool kit activated .

-- Rahul Gandhi Conviction
-- Rahul Gandhi Disqualification
-- Oppositions Rallying around and creating chaos
-- Rahul Gandhi and Team not planning to appeal in higher courts .
-- US congressman meddling in internal matters of India thru RG case .
-- Rahul Gandhi will go to Jail. Few from regional parties also may go to Jails in different cases .
-- congress and opposition with the help of Judiciary will create the mother of all movements that could be many times more than the Shaheen bagh and farmer protest

--Western governments and media will echo the Cong and opposition .
Read 7 tweets
Mar 28
Was very privileged to meet Kum. Jyothi Kalai, a girl who was born visually challenged. Life threw plenty of curveballs at her and her mother. But boy, how they deflected them and came out on top. Now she is an accomplished singer - so has two cup board full of tropies. #
Here she sings "Endaro mahanubhavulu" - a Krithi composed by Saint Thyagaraja. She has a gift: Can tell a day (like Monday, Tuesday) based on date, month and year. cc : @anandmahindra @Anandi_sanatani
Read 4 tweets
Jan 5
Jolly good ants.😆
1. 5 ants + 5 ants = Tenants
2. To bring ant from another country into your country = Import-ant
3. Ant that goes to school = Brilliant
4. Ant that's looking for a job = Applicant
5. A spy ant = Informant
6. A very little ant = Infant
7. Ant that has a gun = Militant
8. Ant that is fat = Abundant
9. A proud ant = Arrogant 🤔
10. Ant that is cruel and oppressive = Tyrant
11. Ant that is friendly and lovely = Coolant
12. Ant that changed from evil to good deeds = Repentant
13. Ant that accumulated so much food in winter for summer = Abundant
14. Ant that doesn't need a change: Reluctant
15. An ant that keeps financial account = Accountant
16. Ant that occupies a flat = Occupant
Read 7 tweets
Dec 29, 2022
#humor

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,

'Hello?'
'Hi, honey.
This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No, Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause, Daddy says,
'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh, yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
Brief Pause.
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs,
knock on the bedroom door
and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay, Daddy, just a minute.'

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

'I did it, Daddy.'

'And what happened, honey?'
Read 6 tweets
Dec 28, 2022
If Pappu and his brainless supporters think that wearing a T-Shirt in the cold is primary qualification to become a PM, then by now, we should have had following as the PM - not to forget Mallika Sherawat, Urfi Javed and by a good distance, men just can't become PMs!
Sridevi
Aishwarya Rai Bachhan
Read 6 tweets

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