Thread by @GoodInside

Why do we think punishing our kids will help them change? All we are doing is punishing kids for skills they don’t (yet) have - instead of teaching them the skills they were missing in the first place.

Let’s walk through this to illustrate the point …

Imagine watching your child in the pool with a swim instructor who yells “Go to your room! Come out when you can swim better!”

We’d never return to that swim teacher. How could a child change with this method?

We want coaches and instructors to teach… not blame and punish.

With swimming and any other skill, we know that change takes time.

Well, here’s an idea: emotion regulation is a learned skill too.

Underneath kids’ “bad behavior” is a lack of emotion regulation SKILLS.

And our job as parents is to be an emotion regulation coach.

When your child hits, it's because they can't yet regulate frustration.

When they yell “hate you," it's because they can’t yet regulate disappointment.

This isn’t about condoning bad behavior. It’s about focusing on the skills kids need to change bad behavior.

Let's shift our mindset from punishment and fear to coaching and teaching.

Let's empower our children with the skills they need to thrive and succeed - now and in adulthood.

This isn’t soft or permissive … it’s effective.

#parenting #emotionalintelligence