Russ Jones Profile picture
May 19 10 tweets 2 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Tomorrow, May 20th, the Tories will have been in power for longer than New Labour were.

This thread lists what Labour did during their 4,756 days in office.
HEALTH

85,000 more nurses
NHS waiting times down 82%
98% of A&E patients seen in 4 hours
Free eye tests for over 60s
Heart disease deaths down 150,000
Cancer deaths down 50,000
Free breast screening for 50-70 year-olds
In-patient waiting lists down 500,000
Created NHS Direct
POVERTY

600,000 children lifted out of poverty
1m pensioners lifted out of poverty
26% increase in child benefit
Introduced winter fuel payments
Made improvements to 1m social homes
Introduced child Tax Credits
Created 3m child trust funds
Free bus travel for over 60s
EMPLOYMENT

Introduced the first minimum wage
Created 1.8m new jobs
Cut long term unemployment by 75%
Doubled the number of apprenticeships
Introduced the right to 24 days holiday
Introduced 2 weeks paternity leave
EDUCATION

Doubled education funding for every pupil
36,000 additional teachers
Added 274,000 teaching assistants
2,200 Sure Start centres
Record literacy
Record numeracy
Free nursery places
Free fruit for 4-6 year-olds
SOCIAL / CULTURAL
Scrapped Section 28
Introduced Civil Partnerships
Banned fox hunting
Free TV licenses to over 75s
Free entry to museums and art galleries
Smoking ban
Olympics and the sporting legacy since destroyed by Tories
SECURITY
Peace in Ireland (building on John Major's work, but still, completed by Labour)
Added 14,000 extra police
Cut crime by 35%
Increased criminal justice (court) spending by 21%
ECONOMY
Longest period of low inflation growth since 1960
Created an independent Bank of England
Wrote off debt for dozens of poor nations
Doubled overseas aid (a better life at home reduces the incentive to migrate to the UK)
Created GiftAid to help charities
MISCELLANEOUS

Introduced devolution for Scotland and Wales
Banned fur farming
Brought the Human Rights Act into UK law
And created the cleanest rivers, beaches, water and air since the industrial revolution
Over to you, Tory fans: create your own list of all the wonderful achievements in the last 4,756

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More from @RussInCheshire

May 19
I was going to do #TheWeekInTory but it’s been so quiet.

You should be so lucky. It’s an absolute fucking casserole. 111 points in a week.

At some point you’ll need to tap “Show replies”, or give up and get howling drunk instead. Bottoms up!
1. Nigel Farage became the last human (and the first toad) to admit Brexit has failed

2. It’s been *months* since we changed PM, so this week Tories began ousting Rishi Sunak, the chef from Ratatouille having a go at being a lifestyle coach after being abandoned by the rat
3. “The party are giving up on Rishi” said one Tory MP, and the loving quotes from his devoted fanclub just kept on coming

4. “[MPs] are realising that the end is nigh”

5. “A storm is brewing”

6. “[MPs] will roll the dice again if they think they will lose anyway”
Read 49 tweets
May 12
For a change, I’m going to begin the latest #TheWeekInTory with some news about Labour.

Don't think this makes things any better, because it doesn't.

I implore you, by all you hold dear, not to read this thread.🧵
1. Under Labour NHS wait averaged 9 weeks

2. After 13 years in power, the Tories’ latest PM, a deep-fake Thunderbird called Rishi Sunak, promised “bring waiting lists down” to 18 months as one of his “Five big pledges”

3. This week Steve Barclay admitted missing that pledge
4. Its OK if you don’t know who Steve Barclay is: his own family couldn’t pick him out of a line-up of one. He’s so bland his DNA profile says “404 error”. His official photo is the curtains behind him. He’s safe from my usual character assassination, cos he was born without one
Read 43 tweets
May 7
It’s been a while (because I’ve been writing a book) but adopt the position, drink heavily, and brace, brace for the return of #TheWeekInTory

Only 72 points. A quiet week.

1. Forget about the old amoral Tory party: this is the shiny new Tory party, now led by Captain Ethics
2. And to prove it, Marcus Fysh is being investigated over his income and expenditure

3. And Steve Brine is being investigated for paid lobbying

4. And Henry Smith for incorrect use of taxpayer-funded stationery
5. And Matt Hancock for being the Dim Reaper – no, sorry, for his I’m A Celeb jaunt

6. And all-terrain idiot Scott Benton, who admitted on camera that he would happily break parliamentary rules in return for payment from the gambling industry
Read 32 tweets
Apr 27
I suspect Braverman won't be home secretary for very long after the local elections. 2 reasons.

1. They'll lose ~1000 council seats, Sunak will look for change in his cabinet, and she's far too controversial. Alienates far more voters than she atteacts. And ...
2. This policy won't "stop the boats". They've had 168 immigration policies since 2010, and over 40 announcements of ways to stop boats since 2020. Constant failure is bad. Noisy, controversial failure is worse. This is too noisy. When it fails, she's gone.
I think he brought her back to cement his position with the right of his party. She's done that now, and it's all down-side for Sunak from here on: .all controversy, all noisy failure, no wins. I think she'll remain in cabinet (for party management reasons). But demoted.
Read 4 tweets
Apr 27
I'm so tired of this "we freed Europe" nonsense.

The Allies freed Europe, and Europe helped. Every conquered nation fought back. Cooperations won. We were one part of a greater thing.

Alone, Britain was incapable of anything. We couldn't even feed ourselves, let alone win WW2.
We were dependent on food imports and huge borrowing from overseas. Churchill explicitly said (in "fight them on the beaches") that we relied on the commonwealth - foreigners - to come to our aid. And as for "anti-democratic" ... we ruled India anti-democratically at the time.
This romantic notion that Britain stood alone ... yep, and we were losing badly, so begged allied nations to aid us.

Polish (and other "immigrant") airmen helped win the Battle of Britain, but we'd have been overrun by 1944 if we hadn't begged the USA to join the war.
Read 6 tweets
Apr 26
It doesn't matter. Even if they have hired 20,000 more police officers, all it proves is that the purpose of the Tories in 2023 is to undo what the Tories did from 2010 to 2012.

And honestly, if you wanna undo the Tories, there are loads of other parties better at that.🧵
They say:

We're gonna give you all the police we spent a decade sacking.

We're gonna try to fix relations with Europe that we just spent a decade demolishing.

We're gonna slightly ameliorate the migration shambles we caused.

We're gonna try to halve the inflation we created.
We're gonna mildly massage down the NHS disaster that was our explicit policy.

We're gonna ask people to build houses that we just spent 13 years doing nothing to build.

We're gonna do half a job solving the energy crisis caused by us doing none of the job for a decade.
Read 5 tweets

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