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The political circle of life:
1) Democrats run on "Republicans are FASCISTS, we'll stop them!"
2) Left responds: "What's in it for us?"
3) Democrats: We stop Repubs from being fascists; that's good enough!! What's your beef, Commies?
1) Democrats run on "Republicans are FASCISTS, we'll stop them!"
2) Left responds: "What's in it for us?"
3) Democrats: We stop Repubs from being fascists; that's good enough!! What's your beef, Commies?
Left: Can't we have something a bit more useful for voting for you?
Dems: Oh, OK, OK, here's a platform we'll ignore....errrrrrrr, try to enforce and a couple of bags of old gold!! Is that good enough?
Left: I guess that'll do!! *Votes for Dems, Dems win*
Dems: Oh, OK, OK, here's a platform we'll ignore....errrrrrrr, try to enforce and a couple of bags of old gold!! Is that good enough?
Left: I guess that'll do!! *Votes for Dems, Dems win*
Right: HAHAHAHA, look at those damn Democrats, pandering to the Commies again!!! Let's obstruct them while we plan our comeback!!
Centrists: Look, Dems, your pandering to the Left is hurting our portfolios, and ultimately your re-election funds. Get your asses back over here!!
Centrists: Look, Dems, your pandering to the Left is hurting our portfolios, and ultimately your re-election funds. Get your asses back over here!!
Dems, seeing threat of capital strike during midterms: Oh, wait, hold up, we didn't mean that!! We love our centrists and conservatives, we would never abandon them!! Hard to starboard, NOW!!! *Snatches bags of gold from Left*
Left: Hey, hold up a GD minute....you promised!!
Left: Hey, hold up a GD minute....you promised!!
Dems: What, you thought we really meant that? Back of the bus, Commies, before we throw you out and under it!! Our conservative and centrist donors come FIRST!!!
Left: OK, we're out of here!! *Starts to #DemEXIT*
Left: OK, we're out of here!! *Starts to #DemEXIT*
Liberal enters the chat with loaded guns: Not so fast, Commies!!!! We need you to stay, Vote Blue and accept the tiny crumbs Dems give you, because our privileges.....errrrrrrr, DEMOCRACY IS AT STAKE and WE CANNOT ALLOW THE FASCIST GOQP TO WIN!!!
Left (to Liberal): Wait....Who in THEE HELL are you to tell us who to vote for and what we should fight for?
Liberal: Who are we? Your superiors who know how to work the system for s-l-o-w incremental gains that retain our power, that's who!! Get with the program!
Liberal: Who are we? Your superiors who know how to work the system for s-l-o-w incremental gains that retain our power, that's who!! Get with the program!
Left: Yeah, right....those slow gains that get repealed with every losing cycle? And leave us holding empty bags while your centrist and conservative buddies run off with our gold? Naaaaah, no more of that. Cut us in or cut it out!!
Liberal: Whatever, Commie!! We need to unite to defeat the Republican fascists, and if you won't join us, tough poopies!!! *teams up with Dem centrists and conservatives to screw Left for 100th time*
Right: HAHAHAHAAAAA....Dems in Disarray!!! See, told 'ya they couldn't govern without pandering to those Commies! Vote CONSERVATIVE for real leadership!! *Gains seats in Congress
Centrists & conservatives (in unison): Damn, Dems, can't you get it together? Lose those Commies!!
Centrists & conservatives (in unison): Damn, Dems, can't you get it together? Lose those Commies!!
Dems: Oh, so so sorry; we didn't mean to hurt your feelings!! We'll back away from those horrible Commies right now and reboot to your liking!!
Left: Uh-huh, same old Democrat bullshit. Tease and denial!! Enough of this. #Bye
Left: Uh-huh, same old Democrat bullshit. Tease and denial!! Enough of this. #Bye
Liberal: Oh, no, no no no no, Commies!!! You are not going to deny us our right to defend our own privileged positions within the system!! You WILL vote Democrat ONLY and LIKE IT (or at least fake it), or we will hold *you* responsible for what happens if the Repubs win!!
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