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Jarvis Profile picture
@jarvis_best
Aug 2, 2024 • 13 tweets • 4 min read • Read on X
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Keith Olbermann has called for Elon’s arrest so I thought I would do a thread of my favorite times Keith has demanded someone be arrested along with why he wants them locked up.

Elon Musk: Donating to a PAC that gathers voter info. Image
Ron DeSantis: Flying migrants to Martha’s Vineyard Image
“Select Supreme Court Justices”: He didn’t like one of their rulings Image
Rep MTG: Talking about border security Image
Tom Wilson: Fighting in hockey Image
Rep. Gosar: Endorsing Trump Image
Donald Trump: Making terrorist threats Image
Ted Cruz: asking for an audit Image
Rep Heather Scott: posting on Twitter a picture someone sent her Image
Chief Justice John Roberts: arrest needed if he doesn’t respond to a subpoena from Dick Durbin Image
Jared Kushner: Espionage Image
Donald Trump Jr: treason. Image
Ending it with my overall favorite Keith moment that doesn’t involve him demanding an arrest: the time he tried to dunk on someone but ended up saying he pisses on his own face. Image

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More from @jarvis_best

Jarvis Profile picture
Jan 13
Good afternoon, friends. A bit of "personal news" as they say.

I am thrilled to announce that I have resigned effective immediately from my lucrative $4M/yr law partnership in order to devote my time to my new Substack vertical, THE CULTURAL ENGAGER.

I want to reiterate that I resigned due to me being brave and bold and I was not at all fired by my management that objected to me spending 16 hours a day hitting on girls on X The Everything App.Image
I can hear you ingrates now. "Oh, another centrist blog. Yawn."

Well shut the hell up and listen a minute because that's not what this is AT ALL.

I mean it is, but it's THE CULTURAL ENGAGER has so much more than that!
FIRST it's not JUST politics. I mean yes Ivanka Trump's dad might come up on occasion, but TO WIN IN POLITICS FIRST YOU AHVE TO WIN IN CULTURE WHICH IS AN IDEA I JUST CAME UP WITH NOW.

That means we're going to have HUMOR. We're going to have PHOTOGAPHY. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUCKING SPORTS. REVIEWS OF OPERAS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF WE'RE DOING ALL THAT SHIT OK? WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TAKES ON SHIT THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Read 8 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Dec 2, 2024
I have decided to do a NEW KEITH THREAD. I really enjoyed my last one where he demanded that everyone get arrested for insane reasons, but this new one is made up of people he demands to RESIGN.

Now, Keith demands that people resign every day. So to keep it of reasonable length, I’m limiting it to (i) Dems - people on his own side and (ii) demand issued within the last year.

Even with those restrictions, there’s still a lot of content.

As with the last thread, I will name the person who should resign and identify the reason why they should resign.

Alright, LFG.Image
Senator Gary Peters: Being a pine cone and criticizing the Hunter pardon. Image
Jared Polis: Being cautiously optimistic about the RFK appointment and also criticizing the Hunter pardon. Image
Read 16 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Nov 5, 2024
Thread: I thought I would take a little "trip down memory lane" so we can remember what a FUN election season it's been, maybe the best ever.

During the first six months, Biden kept spacing out and wandering off like a goddam child. It was wild.
The journos assured us that these videos were deceptively edited and FAKE NEWS, possibly Russian. Image
Then came the debate! And what a debate it was. I didn’t watch it but I heard good things.
Read 12 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Oct 23, 2024
This is the beauty of America though. Every President is Hitler. A Hitler of defined powers and subject to checks and balances, but Hitler nonetheless. George Washington was our First Hitler, and him along with our other Founding Hitlers put a system in place that would stand the test of time and allow regular people to put a new Hitler in office every four years. A lot of people don't like this or that Hitler, but everyone gets a say and sooner or later there will be a Hitler in power that represents your interests, your views - your own personal Hitler.
Four of the best Hitlers we've ever had. Image
We must not forget the founding mothers our country too - Abigail Adams-Hitler, Martha Washington-Hitler, and Dolley Madison-Hitler. Our plucky little Hitlerettes! Image
Read 7 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Sep 11, 2024
On my deathbed so I’m watching Tombstone. Image
No buildup no nothing the bad guys just show up out of nowhere and start shooting everyone hahahahahahaha
They shot the pastor for mouthing off hahahahahahaha
Read 13 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Sep 4, 2024
Alright I'm angry. Jamal Khashoggi took money from Qatar to write columns for the Washington Post. Max Boot's wife took money from Korea and co-wrote his columns too.

Mehdi Hasan has been off and on Qatar's payroll his whole career.

Qatar invested $50M in Newsmax.
Image
Image
The Bidens are all on Ukraine's payroll and China's payroll. The NBA is also owned by China, which is why Steve Kerr and LeBron James spend so much time hating the US on their behalf.

China also apparently funds and staffs every high profile Democrat in the country.
Now we find out that Tim Pool, Benny Johnson, and Lauren Chen work for Russia (perhaps inadvertently).

China funded Bill Clinton for this whole Presidency. Iran hacked the Trump campaign in 2024. Russia hacked the Hillary campaign in 2016. Also in 2016, Russia promoted Bernie Sanders and Trump until Trump won, and then they started opposing Trump.

Russia organized an anti-Trump protest led by Michael Moore.
Read 4 tweets

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