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Jarvis Profile picture
@jarvis_best
Aug 2, 2024 • 13 tweets • 4 min read • Read on X
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Keith Olbermann has called for Elon’s arrest so I thought I would do a thread of my favorite times Keith has demanded someone be arrested along with why he wants them locked up.

Elon Musk: Donating to a PAC that gathers voter info. Image
Ron DeSantis: Flying migrants to Martha’s Vineyard Image
“Select Supreme Court Justices”: He didn’t like one of their rulings Image
Rep MTG: Talking about border security Image
Tom Wilson: Fighting in hockey Image
Rep. Gosar: Endorsing Trump Image
Donald Trump: Making terrorist threats Image
Ted Cruz: asking for an audit Image
Rep Heather Scott: posting on Twitter a picture someone sent her Image
Chief Justice John Roberts: arrest needed if he doesn’t respond to a subpoena from Dick Durbin Image
Jared Kushner: Espionage Image
Donald Trump Jr: treason. Image
Ending it with my overall favorite Keith moment that doesn’t involve him demanding an arrest: the time he tried to dunk on someone but ended up saying he pisses on his own face. Image

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More from @jarvis_best

Jarvis Profile picture
Aug 17
A few years back he quit Spotify because he didn’t like Joe Rogan’s opinions about Covid but after a few years he came back when he found out you can listen to Joe Rogan anywhere.
Screw it. Let’s make a List Of Things Neil Young has quit!

It’s 1960s Winnipeg! A young man enrolls at Kelvin High School, eager to get his exciting life started.

But first? Gotta QUIT. He drops out of high school.

It’s important to get an early start on your hobbies. Image
Not to worry! Neil lands on his feet and joins The Squires - one of the most exciting bands to come out of Canada at that time.

He then quit. Image
Read 15 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Aug 8
The Lord Christ hurting me: a Keith Olbermann Thread

1/ Image
2/ Image
3/ Image
Read 10 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Jul 29
Upcoming Sweeney projects - a
Jarvis Thread:

1. Sydney Sweeney is elite race car driver Elizabeth Fastrubber BUT can she win the season title and become a master grand champion? Find out this fall only in theaters - it’s MASTER RACE! Image
2. “Excuse me miss, but I couldn’t help noticing that you have absolutely massive milkers.”

With that one cheesy pickup line, Hank Henderson landed the girl of his dreams. But what will it take to keep her? Find out this winter on ABC’s new drama, FOURTEEN WORDS ❤️ Image
3. Audrey Hiller, a young woman injured in war, returns home in order to fight new domestic enemies not to mention her own inner demons. Next spring in: MY STRUGGLE. Image
Read 18 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Jul 22
With the boomers deciding to live forever I'm not sure there's any way AROUND doing this. I've had several family members buy big houses when they had young families, but then the value of their house increased 10X over the decades (not unheard of in Colorado).

So by the time they're empty nesters and would love to downsize, their capital gains at 20% would have been ENORMOUS. Capital gains of $1M plus broker fees plus moving fees and maybe you're giving up $250K+ just for the privilege of having a smaller house.

As a result, the boomers are living in big empty houses while young families can't afford enough space. I have several old ass neighbors occupying these big houses like Zuccotti Park but for some reason I can't call in the NYPD to tase the shit out of them.
I don't want to give the boomers ANOTHER tax break but we have to find some humane way to make nana homeless.
Or inhumane, whatever, idc
Read 4 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Jul 17
Alright. Look.

Who knows.

But . . . writing a script of an imaginary commercial or something with a voice over and use of these words, many of which have more than one syllable . . .

doesn't really sound like him.
If they said Trump sent Epstein a glossy picture of a chick with huge tits and had written HEY JACKOFF GET A LOAD OF THESE I might believe it. But not this.
Who knows maybe Trump is composing tastefully drafted dialogues and sketching nudes in his spare time and then only pretends to be Trump in public who the fuck can say.
Read 6 tweets
Jarvis Profile picture
Jul 1
Pride Month is over boys and I'm as bummed as all of you.

However, as I did last year, I want to encourage you - there's still plenty of special days ahead for my fellow LGTBuddies.

While Pride is gone, it's only a few more months to October, which is LGBT History Month.Image
Then we come to November, which is Trans Awareness Month.

But do not confuse that with the Trans Day of Visibility, which is March 31, or Pansexual Visibility Day, which is May 24.
Lesbian Visibility Day is April 26, and then you ladies have a little break until International Lesbian Day, which is October 8.

If you're not a lesbian yet, you can become one on National Coming Out Day, which is October 11.
Read 10 tweets

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