I am exhausted because I am doing two incompatible jobs at the same time:
The Human Job: Screaming "My husband is dying!" which is horrifying and urgent.
The Bureaucratic Job: Filling out form CRM-302409359 to prove that "dying" counts as a "noun."
The Human Job: Screaming "My husband is dying!" which is horrifying and urgent.
The Bureaucratic Job: Filling out form CRM-302409359 to prove that "dying" counts as a "noun."
The system I am fighting is designed to be immune to horror.
It is an insulation layer.
It is an insulation layer.
The people in D.C. don't see Conrad the human, the husband, or the disabled vet; they see a file number.
The people in Texas don't hear the seizures; they refresh my website to make sure I haven't posted their names.
The people in Texas don't hear the seizures; they refresh my website to make sure I haven't posted their names.
If I only do the "Human Job" (scream), they ignore me.
If I only do the "Bureaucratic Job" (file forms), they delay me.
I have to do both, and it is the heaviest cruelty I have ever endured.
If I only do the "Bureaucratic Job" (file forms), they delay me.
I have to do both, and it is the heaviest cruelty I have ever endured.
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