Since this US administration’s agenda of insulting Europe has now reached the topic of food, with the US Secretary of the Treasury claiming he would “rather eat bugs” than Swiss food, I decided to revisit and expand my list of US food so unsafe most of Europe had to ban it.🧵
US Instant Mashed Potatoes
Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, most of Europe has outright banned the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hairloss.
US Pork
Because American pigs are often fed large amounts of ractopamine, a drug that does wonders in increasing muscle growth in pigs and cancer in humans, the EU has deemed the product unsafe and banned it, seemingly without much concern for the profits of US oligarchs.
US Chicken Meat
The American habit of bathing chicken meat in chlorine, a very safe and cheap practice legal in the US, led most of Europe to ban US chicken meat and treat it basically like a chemical weapon that has a high likelyhood of helping one develop superpowers.
US Frozen Dinners
Containing a totally safe chemical also widely used to bleach plastic, the wide variety of US frozen dinners have been deemed as unsafe for human and animal consumption in the EU, a widely unpopular move among Europeans looking for a quick way to get cancer.
US Chocolate Milk
Following several studies that have found the product to really help in never seeing what life beyond 50 looks like, or at least not remembering it for long given it seems to also cause Alzheimer's, the EU banned this otherwise delicious US product.
US Apples
Known to otherwise keep the doctors away, thanks to the diphenylamine they are sprayed with consuming US apples is a great way to make sure you will end up seeing multiple confused doctors and has been banned from sale in the European Union and most of the world.
US Froot Loops
Stuffed with a mix of the unsafest food colorings known to man, from the ones suspected to be linked to DNA damage to the ones known to cause neurobehavioral issues in children, most of Europe banned the product and nearly everything this product is made out of.
US Bleached Flour
With white flour not being white enough apparently, some US producers routinely treat it with chlorine gas or benzoyl, leading most of Europe to straight up ban the thing, somewhat unfairly depriving Europeans from a quick and easy way to get diabetes.
US Milk
Now the newest obsession of the US Secretary of Pestilence, US milk cannot legally be sold in the EU due to US farmers being known on occasion to spike the food of their cows with a mix of hormones, in a bid to squeeze out a few extra drops of milk and profit off them.
US Fake Blueberries
Banned in the EU but found in nearly every US product claiming to have actual blueberries in it, the fake blueberries get their blue from a totally safe and tasty petroleum derived dye, one highly recommended for those looking to grow a third arm.
While amounting to about a quarter of the world’s GDP, in part but not limited to everything listed above, the United States of America can barely provide its population with a life expectancy comparable to that of Albania, arguably Europe’s poorest country.
🧵/end
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Because it remains important to show the world what Russia looks like, the country that continues to spent hundreds of millions of dollars every night trying to freeze and terrorize the Ukrainian population, I have compiled a "best of" from my guides through Russia's cities.🧵
With its 200k inhabitants enjoying a life expectancy of 42 and having "life may be bad but at least it's short" as the unofficial motto, Dzerzhinsk is a must among worldwide chemical weapons enthusiasts, with popular tourist hotspots such as "The White Sea" and the "Black hole".
While a romantic sunset, sunrise or the sun in general is not something you're likely to experience in Norilsk, a city that fields a beautiful bi-annual Biblical plague when the local river runs red with pollution, is one for sure bound to go straight to your heart. And lungs.
With MAGA rediscovering American exceptionalism and thinking Europe to be the underdeveloped backwater where we live in underground holes and bow hunt rats for survival, I've decided to do a short thread tackling some of the many failures of the American education system.🧵
While MAGA propagandists, Elon Musk, JD Vance, and Fox News spend every minute of every day telling you that the Europe you can’t point out on a map is unsafe, we’ve built so much safer of a society that it would take several civil wars to get us on par with the United States.
While amounting to about a quarter of the world’s GDP, the United States of America can barely provide its population with a life expectancy comparable to that of Albania, which, despite being Europe’s poorest country, still manages to offer free healthcare to its people.
I think the best way to anticipate where the US is headed next is by looking at the life of Stephen Miller, the US shadow president and very embodiment of evil that is now appearing on every TV channel to defend the ICE agent that summarily executed an innocent woman.🧵
Having went bald and aged some 37 years in between the ages of 15 and 17 and already an avid reader of "Guns&Ammo" magazine by the age of 12, Miller would eventually let his only friend know they can't see each other anymore on grounds of him being the wrong shade of white.
Failing in his bid for Student Government, having run on a platform that argued students should not have to pick up trash, because, in his view, that was the God given role of Black and Latino janitors, Miller began incessantly calling into local neo-Nazi radio shows.
To highlight Russia's willingness to negotiate and because we tend to lose track of facts and statements, I've compiled a list of all threats and predictions made over the past 2 years by Dmitry Medvedev, former president and current deputy chair of Russia's Security Council.🧵
January-February 2024
Russia to soon get Alaska.
Texas to become independent with Russian help.
Threatens Sweden with annihilation.
Threatens British PM with cluster munitions.
Threatens Ukraine with nuclear missiles.
French farmers to start a revolution against Macron.
March-April 2024
European ambassadors to be kicked out of Russia then all of Europe to get nuked.
Claims Latvia doesn't exist.
The French and the Anglo-Saxons threatened be nuked.
Threatens Latvia with nuclear weapons.
The French and Germans threatened to be nuked again.
Since I actually happen to be from Transylvania, seeing so many people call Stephen Miller a vampire made me want to take a closer look at the life of this man suspiciously passionate racial purity who has so far spent nearly every waking moment of his life hating immigrants.🧵
Having went bold and aged some 37 years in between the ages of 15 and 17 and already an avid reader of "Guns&Ammo" magazine by the age of 12, Miller would eventually let his only friend know they can't see each other anymore on grounds of him being the wrong shade of white.
Failing in his bid for Student Government, having run on a platform that argued students should not have to pick up trash because, in his view, that was the God given role of Black and Latino janitors, Miller began incessantly calling into local neo-Nazi radio shows.
Because most of my fellow Europeans haven't had the time nor stamina to fully acquaint themselves with the complete spectrum of insanity that is the current U.S. administration, I've taken it upon myself to offer a brief, honest introduction to its main characters.🧵
Often affectionately referred to as "pure f*cking evil" by her closest friends and by everyone who has ever met, seen, or heard her really, Kristi Noem is the woman Trump tasked with deporting people to Salvadoran concentration camps, after learning that she shot a puppy.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr, the former heroin addict and self proclaimed imaginary brain worm survivor that once admitted to having eaten a dead bear he stumbled upon before burying the carcass in New York's Central Park at night, currently serves as the U.S. Secretary of Pestilence.