ChrisO_wiki Profile picture
Feb 9 15 tweets 5 min read Read on X
1/ What can Russian soldiers do with thousands of useless Starlink terminals? One Russian warblogger has some humorous suggestions. ⬇️
2/ 'BKGB Casuar' writes:

"Here are 10 ways to use a broken terminal in the Special Military Operation zone:
3/ "1. Butt Kick.

The ground in the trench is cold and damp, and Elon Musk's plastic is warm and high-tech. Use it as an elite seat. Now you're not just a soldier in the mud, but a cyberpunk on a throne, whose butt is protected from moisture by American technology. Image
4/ "2. Snowshoes.

If you have two broken terminals and a lot of tape, you are the owner of elite snowshoes. The large surface area will prevent you from falling into a snowdrift or deep mud. Image
5/ "You'll walk through the swamp like Jesus, making everyone who hobbles in regular combat boots envious.
6/ "3. Shovel for emergency "digging in."

If the main shovel is lost, the Starlink turns into an excellent shovel. The soil capture area is huge! A couple of swings, and you've got not just a hole, but a foundation for a future dugout. Image
7/ "4. Souvenir

At the end of your service, you can sign the plate with your entire unit, write wishes and names of cities. Image
8/ "This will be the heaviest, most inconvenient, but also the most pompous souvenir, which you can bring home and hang on the wall in your garage as a monument to the era of "wars and high technology."
9/ "5. Kennel for a front-line cat

If your unit has a cat, it deserves the best housing. Two plates connected at an angle form a hut. The cat will sleep in warmth and comfort, knowing that its home is worth more than everything else in the dugout. Image
10/ "6. Reinforcement for the roof of the dugout

If there are a lot of terminals, you can use them to lay out the roof. This is not only protection from the rain, but also a psychological weapon. Any [Ukrainian] drone flying by will simply be amazed. Image
11/ "7. Cutting board

The body material is very durable. Cutting food on it is a pleasure. Image
12/ "8. Improvised Paddle:

If you need to cross a small puddle or river, the Starlink is the perfect paddle. Its hydrodynamics are incredible; Elon clearly had something in mind when he designed the shape. Image
13/ "9. Rain Shield:

Cover your gasoline generator with it when it rains. Now you have a "hybrid power system": Chinese hardware rattles underneath, and a satellite dome covers it from above. Looks incredibly reliable. Image
14/ "10. Tactical Map Pad:

Take a marker and draw a map of the area right on the plate. It's big, white, and you won't feel sorry for it. And if a sabotage and reconnaissance group shows up, just wipe it all down with a rag soaked in diesel fuel. No digital traces!" /end Image

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More from @ChrisO_wiki

Feb 10
1/ Life after Starlink is proving to be difficult and frustrating for the Russian army. Russian warbloggers appear to be going through the stages of grief, expressing anger and alarm at the crisis and concern that Ukraine will exploit it. One anticipates "24/7 fucking". ⬇️ Image
2/ Further instances of price-gouging are being reported, with the cost of US-made Ubiquiti WiFi bridges – illegally imported into Russia – doubling overnight. 'Strong Word' complains: Image
3/ "Elon is certainly a real jerk. But we have some real assholes in the rear who decided to ride the wave and make money off their own soldiers. Wi-Fi bridges instantly doubled in price. It's maddening, some are spilling blood, and others are making a living off of it."
Read 29 tweets
Feb 9
1/ Russian political officers are reportedly using the Epstein files to justify the 'Special Military Operation' (SVO) as a "war against global evil". However, as a frontline Russian warblogger points out, Russia and its soldiers are hardly innocent of crimes against children. ⬇️ Image
2/ 'Vault No. 8', a serving soldier in the Russian army, writes:

"Over dinner, we were shown a report on the Epstein files: Satanism, cannibalism, paedophilia, child trafficking to EU countries in Ukraine, etc. The conclusion: "The SVO is the fight against global evil."
3/ "At the same time, during the SVO:

— I listened to the stories of several female specialists in men's health. One was raped by her grandfather, then later by her first husband. The second had a stepfather who was violent and raped her mother.
Read 11 tweets
Feb 9
1/ As many as 4% of the able-bodied men in one village in the Russian Far East may have died in Ukraine. The figure illustrates how the human cost of the war is being borne disproportionately by impoverished communities deep in the Russian interior. Image
Image
2/ The village of Tigil is the principal settlement of a lightly populated region the size of West Virginia or Latvia. About 1,600 people live in the village. Ethnic Russians only make up about 36% of the population, with various indigenous groups making up the rest.
3/ The village museum has installed a display with photographs of local residents who died in the war. It currently shows 18 portraits of confirmed victims, though there may well be more unlisted given the very large numbers of soldiers declared to be missing in action.
Read 6 tweets
Feb 8
1/ The Russian authorities have published details of three people accused of Friday's shooting of Lt Gen Vladimir Alekseyev. Two men have been arrested, one in the UAE, while a woman is said to have escaped to Ukraine, which is blamed for the attack. ⬇️
2/ The Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation (roughly Russia's equivalent of the FBI) has issued a statement, which includes the following:
3/ "Investigators conducted a thorough inspection at the scene, during which they discovered the murder weapon – a Makarov pistol with an attached silencer and three rounds of ammunition. Image
Read 22 tweets
Feb 7
1/ General Vladimir Alexseyev, who was shot yesterday in a Moscow apartment building, may have been secretly visiting his mistress before the attack. Despite a reputation as an uncorrupt officer, he is said to have enjoyed the same luxurious lifestyle as many of his peers. ⬇️ Image
2/ The building where Alekseyev was shot is a fairly ordinary apartment building in Moscow's Shchukino District. Completed in 2022, it has 10 apartments on each floor. Alekseyev was using an apartment on the 24th floor.
3/ According to neighbours, the apartment is occupied by a younger woman with a young child. They say she was seen often with the child, but Alekseyev was only seen rarely. His 'official' wife is in her 60s (he is 64) and their children are in their 30s.
Read 9 tweets
Feb 6
1/ Why has Russia failed so abysmally at providing secure battlefield communications to its troops in Ukraine? The answer, concludes Russian warblogger Oleg Tsarev, is that the military communications budget has been looted for years by corrupt generals and contractors. ⬇️ Image
2/ Tsarev relates the dismal history of Russia's military communications programmes:

"I remember how, at the beginning of the Special Military Operation, all units were buying Motorola radios. There was no other communications."
3/ "Now, Elon Musk has shut down the Starlink terminals our military used in the Special Military Operation, and our communications at the front have been disrupted. I'm talking to military personnel: many say we still have virtually no communications of our own.
Read 26 tweets

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