What many people don't realize about ADHD is that our ability to do stuff is limited for the day, and is stronger in the morning. If I work a full time morning shift, by the time I get home I'll be rendered useless and will struggle to cook and take care of myself. If I prioritize chores, my focus at work might falter. Finding a balance between working/studying, self-care and chores, not to mention other responsibilities, can be a huge struggle. Having difficulties prioritizing also makes it worse.

What nobody tells you about ADHD treatment is that if you relied on high levels of anxiety to get stuff done before, when it gets treated sometimes you can't do shit because your brain has no idea how to do stuff without the adrenaline surge caused by last minute panic So some things will be easier to do at will when ADHD is treated, but those long assignments you'd finish the night before the deadline... Maybe not so much anymore.

Learning new ways to do stuff without relying on anxiety is quite the journey.

A thread on neurodivergent people and trauma/cPTSD, and how emotional dysregulation and dissociation can work together and influence interpersonal relationships, a thread 1/ Traumatic symptoms are so common in neurodivergent people that it is often said we don't know how neurodivergent people would be like without trauma. But why are we more succeptible to it? 2/

Feelings in ADHD can be hard to manage, but this isn't our fault nor something we can always control by sheer will.

In ADHD, the neural pathway between the limbic system (where feelings originate) and the prefrontal cortex (what controls them) is affected. 1/ Feelings are originated normally, but the part of our brain that filters and prioritizes them doesn't work properly. It's like having a river of feelings; sometimes the flow rises and floods (overwhelms) you. Other people have a dam to regulate it, you don't. 2/

When you think someone with ADHD is distracted, they've likely dove into a previous topic of conversation or random thought, made a passionate inner monologue about it and derailed into fascinating topics. We're not just distracted, we're engrossed with self-stimulating thoughts. We underestimate how often distractibility is just understimulation. ADHD brains need to be engaged, passionate. If conversations and school/work don't provide that, ADHDers will seek it somewhere else: self-stimulating thoughts, which seem like distraction from the outside.

ME: *shares struggles with ADHD*
Randos online: "Stop pathologizing a normal human experience"

No shit Sherlock, the whole point of ADHD is that it's stuff that might happen to anyone from time to time, but for us it's constant, impairing and it affects our lives significantly. Just because you relate to what I said doesn't mean it's "normal". You have no idea about the level of impact it has, or how often it happens. You have no idea what specific traits of ADHD make it way worse for me to handle and cope. You just judge and belittle.

When oppressed minorities go from being invisible, and actively oppressed to being more visible, society shifts its narrative to keep oppressing them. ADHD becoming "trendy" isn't the fault of people who raise awareness, but of those who twist the narrative to keep being ableist. Something similar happened with queerness. We went from active oppression, to assimilation ("you can be queer as long as you're normative in every other sense"), to "everyone is queer these days". Does it ring a bell? That's similar to what's slowly happening now with ADHD.

Phases of neurodivergent self-acceptance:

1) Denial. You're not one of "those people". You're normal! You've never really fit in and feel like you're broken, but everyone feels like that, right?
2) Wonder. You relate to real life experiences of ND people a little too much. 3) Avoidance. You forget about those relatable experiences shorty after, despite the nagging feeling that there's something important there.
4) Repeat points 2 and 3. Maybe. A lot.
5) Breakdown. You finally succumb, after fighting for years, cannot deal any more.

Functioning labels are so focused on productivity that they overlook the most important question: What do you need support with?

Needs are individual. People with the same disability don't always benefit from the same accommodations or support measures. Thread 🧵1/ Our needs are the end result from the interaction between core traits, co-occuring issues and coping mechanisms. They're also different depending on our cultural, political, socioeconomic, and racial background. There's no simplifying that.

The problem about parents speaking about their autistic kids is that their target audience are other parents with autistic kids. They often don't consider how autistic people will feel hearning what people like Mark Rober have to say. It's about us, without us. This has been said over and over again, by multiple #actuallyautistic people and yet those voices are still not heard by mainstream media. They don't care about truly helping us, just making it look like they care. Because they care more about their own feelings than our own.

@KarterJam @guillotinepunk Okay *breathes deeply*

So the question here is what factors make emotions suck for us. In ADHD, the neural pathway between the prefrontal cortex (the boss) and the limbic system (where feelings originate), isn't working properly. So our feelings are biochemically "normal" - @KarterJam @guillotinepunk But the part of our brain that's supposed to filter them doesn't work properly. So we got a fucking feeling highway up there without a toll. So we get a sudden influx of feeling that's overwhelming.

If you relate to tweets about ADHD or highly suspect you have it, don't let that thought go. If you leave it for later, you'll forget, swept under the rug. That's what our brain does.

Many of us wish we had known sooner. It could have saved us a lot of angst and suffering. Sometimes it's hard for our brains to confront that reality until we're at breaking point. Don't let it get to that; a lot of us did and it's not a nice way to figure it out. It comes with regret, shame and a long recovery.

What people think ADHD is: little boys bouncing in their chairs, not paying attention.

What ADHD is: Not being able to do the things you want to do, get chastised, blame yourself for it. Repeat until any rejection feels unbearable and emotionally painful. Suffer in silence. The perception people have of ADHD and our reality are very different. Inattention and hyperactivity can be annoying, but they're not that debilitating. Usually, the most impairing traits are our inability to start tasks we want to do and difficulty controlling our feelings.

Hot take but many inspirational quotes are ableist; "just do it! will is power! The power of the mind!". That's exactly what ADHDers cannot do. Like, neurologically cannot do. Also true for other neurodivergent people, brain fog, chronic illness, etc. There's so many scenarios where people cannot "just do it". And yet it keeps being pushed down our throats and we're shamed and made feel like failures when we can't achieve those unrealistic expectations. Making everyone believe the power of will is enough is a big, ableist lie.

Thinking about all those undiagnosed ADHDers who are teenagers now.

It's one of the hardest times of our lives. It's often dismissed as "a normal teen phase" and our suffering goes unnoticed, so we think it's normal to feel wrecked by minor rejections. And it's not. 🧵 During that time, low tolerance to frustration reaches new levels. It's something present in both teenagers and ADHD, so it's explosive. Irritability and anger can also be common. They're almost impossible to control, and we keep being blamed for it, worsening everything.

Anxiety and ADHD, a thread. Some ADHDers use anxiety as a coping mechanism to do stuff. You might've heard of "last minute panic", the rush of adrenaline caused by a deadline that will put your brain to work. While it might happen to people without ADHD too, many ADHDers rely purely on this to keep going.

Let me get this straight, almost every adult around here realized they had ADHD on their own, did research for months, panicked, seeked a professional that wouldn't ignore them, and finally got an official diagnosis, and ppl still saying self diagnosis isn't valid? Sure hun We would have never been diagnosed if we hadn't worked for it. I researched for TWO FUCKING YEARS before I found a place that wouldn't tell me off because I went to college. Many of us got officially diagnosed because we self diagnosed first. The system is fucking broken.

When you have ADHD, there's this "We can do anything we set our minds to!" mentality going around. And I just realized that it rubs me the wrong way because... well, comes with an invisible addendum: "but you have to finish it or you're a failure". And that's the problem. 1/n We might be capable of doing anything, but our energy is limited and unpredictable. Losing interest in projects for us is a big deal, because often that's the only thing that keeps us going. Doing things without interest is almost impossible for people with ADHD. 2/n

In case you're wondering what I mean with "my coping mechanisms have coping mechanisms", buckle up for this thread on how I try to avoid ADHD getting the best of me on a daily basis 🧵🐑

Disclaimer this might not be helpful at all just how I roll. What drains me the most with ADHD is impatience. It triggers my impulsivity, which can turn into irritability and recklessness. It's not pleasant and it often makes me feel bad and drained afterwards, so trying to avoid that has become the focus of many of my coping mechanisms.

When interacting with an ADHDer about a task, it's important to realize what you're conveying with your words. If you're too stern and guilt trip, you'll achieve your goal but cause a lot of stress and guilt on the long run. If you make it look optional, it will never get done. Since our internal motivation is affected by ADHD, we often need external pressure and deadlines to work more efficiently. But understanding that this isn't us being childish or irresponsible is important. We are the first ones who get frustrated at not being able to do things.

Little is talked about how RSD affects all aspects of our lives. If kept in time, it can evolve into constant distress, inability to enjoy joyful activities, and worsening executive functioning issues, like drifting off mid sentence more often, inability to finish thoughts... Eventually you can be even more rejection sensitive, stuff that didn't cause rejection before will, and it will all pile up until you don't know what not being in distress feels like. Living in the now when you're in this state is not fun, because you don't see yourself out of it