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frax but at what cost Profile picture
frax but at what cost
@FRAXlNUS
frax • he/him • nyc • 🔞 • i used to tweet about ofmd, now i just hate djenks and tweet about whatever
Afraid Profile picture ✨ yes, i am a simp × ✨ Profile picture Stephanie Erin Profile picture 3 subscribed
Feb 18, 2023 • 20 tweets • 4 min read
I was holding off on this because it's #SteddyHands and I didn't want to post it during EdIzzy week out of Deep Respect BUT Reincarnation AU where you only remember your past life when you meet the person you shared it with. So you go your entire life as yourself but with a new name/family/history. Then you meet the person you loved most from your first life and all the memories come flooding back for both of you. They don't overwrite or anything, just co-exist, and you move forward together.
Jan 31, 2023 • 60 tweets • 11 min read
Izzy knows he's not easy to love. He knows. Which is why every morning there's still a soft wave of relief when he opens his eyes and sees Ed laying in bed next to him. Still there, still real.

What Izzy did to deserve him he still doesn't know.

(#happyedizzyweek - proposals) Edward is stunning, inside and out. He's the most beautiful man Izzys ever seen. The fire inside him burns brightly in all he does, lights him up like the fucking sun is behind his eyes when he sets his mind to something.

When that something was Izzy? He didn't stand a chance.
Dec 22, 2022 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
Modern AU Izzy secretly loves Hallmark movies, and not ironically. Romance films make him depressed bc the realism of them just reminds him of his loneliness. But everything about Hallmark is fake, NOBODY falls in love like that, and they all have stress-free happy endings. 🧵 Ed passingly mentioned once that he finds them stupid and doesn’t get the appeal, which ensured Izzy NEVER mentioned it.

Stede likes them, too. Ed finds that charming. Izzy stops watching them all-together, even his only pleasant holiday tradition now too painful to enjoy.
Nov 18, 2022 • 27 tweets • 6 min read
No one comforts Izzy when he’s scared, or sad. No one tells him it’ll all be okay. He assures Edward of it, convinces their crews of it, but it’s built on nothing. Smoke and mirrors and the desperate hope (never faith) that everything will work out just one more time. (🧵) He doesn’t need the comfort.

When their ship is rolled by storms and he waits below deck with only sturdy sailors and hopefully sturdier wood between himself and death, no one holds his hand or offers their shoulder to muffle his whimpers.

He emerges to the sun all the same.
Nov 5, 2022 • 79 tweets • 14 min read
Izzy has seen men drown. Most sailors think it’s a dramatic thing, splashing, flailing, and screaming away valuable air.

It’s not.

It’s quiet, your body giving out and sinking below the waves, taking your soul with it. Some say it’s a peaceful way to die. Izzy doubts it.

🧵 He hasn’t had a fit in over a decade, because Edward was always there to see them coming. He’s attuned to Izzy in a way even Izzy himself isn’t.

It’s like he can read the dark clouds of melancholy that hang over Izzy’s heart as well as he can read the clouds in the sky.
Nov 3, 2022 • 22 tweets • 5 min read
Stede was glad that apparently making himself known in a dream had to be intentionally done, otherwise he would have been thrown into the fray as soon as he opened his eyes.

The pub he found himself in was absolutely packed to the gills with pirates.

(Part 10) It didn’t seem to be the kind of place the reclusive Izzy would dream about, but Stede had recently learned a lot about how little he really knew.

He was pondering where to move when he heard a bright and familiar laugh ring out from the other side of the bar.
Nov 2, 2022 • 16 tweets • 3 min read
He’s not /wooing/ Izzy.

He’s not.

It just happens that Stede only knows one way to show someone he cares, and that way happens to fall in line with what many consider to be acts of the ‘wooing’ variety.

Sue him.

(Part 9) He couldn’t give Izzy the peaceful romance he was clearly craving, but Stede could still offer one aspect of it: quality time with Edward.

He asked Izzy to demonstrate sword skills to the crew, and needled Ed into taking part in the demonstration.
Oct 29, 2022 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
Stede had gotten used to seeing his crew cheery the morning after a good dream. To him there was nothing quite like waking up from a pleasant night’s sleep.

He probably should have guessed that Izzy wound confound him yet again.

The man looked /miserable/.

(Part 8) He wasn’t exactly pleasant on the best of days, and was even less-so the morning after Stede invaded his first dream. He’d assumed that having the dream go well would shift his attitude.

Instead he was cagey, and quicker to irritation than usual.
Oct 25, 2022 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
I keep going back to this part of this fantastic thread, and how Izzy wants to be near Ed when he’s scared or upset.

Specifically thinking about how his cabin was probably close to Ed’s on the Queen Anne, but now it’s on the other side of the ship.

But the passages aren’t. 🧵 I’m picturing a secret passage behind the fireplace that Izzy knows about. When Izzy has nightmares, or when anxiety seeps into his lungs, he’ll sneak in the passage and curl up where he can hear Ed snore.

At least Edward is here, healthy and happy. That’s all that he needs.
Oct 20, 2022 • 26 tweets • 5 min read
They’d picked a smaller merchant vessel to raid, figuring it would be an easy replenishment of their basic supplies.

What they didn’t expect was for it to be the private charter of a clearly wealthy businessman and his belongings.

Stede was absolutely /delighted/.

(Part 7) He walked through the underbelly of the ship like one would through an antique market, and with all the unbridled joy of a child in a candy store who’d just been told everything is free.

By the time Stede finished taking every item that caught his eye the sun had almost set.
Oct 16, 2022 • 16 tweets • 4 min read
The next day Stede had the crew follow Izzy around while he instructed them on properly prepping for a storm.

He also educated them, in sickeningly familiar and vivid detail, exactly what would happen if they didn’t.

Stede wondered how often Izzy had that nightmare.

(Part 6) They weathered the storm well. Luckily she was mild, with a bark bigger than her bite.

No crew fell overboard or were bludgeoned to death by debris. If you’d asked Stede a month previous, he would have said that was never a worry at all.

Now he worried quite a bit.
Oct 12, 2022 • 23 tweets • 5 min read
Lightning crashed through the sky, illuminating the deck of the Revenge enough for Stede to see his crew scrambling in panic.

Barrels and boxes slid around the deck as the shipped rocked heavily from side to side.

(Part 5, tw for graphic major character deaths in a dream) Stede spun around to see Wee John, who had been attempting to anchor one of the loose ropes keeping the mainsail in place, get slammed in the side by one of the barrels.

Then he watched in horror as both John and the barrel went straight through the railing and over the side.
Oct 11, 2022 • 15 tweets • 3 min read
Stede had half a mind to feel bad about his dream snooping, if it wasn’t for the mood everyone seemed to be in afterwords.

The day after Pete’s dream he stood straighter than he had in weeks.

(Part 4) When Stede walked on deck after Frenchie’s dream, he was strumming the same tune his mother had, a look of contentment on his face.

And Jim…that next day Jim /placed a hand on his shoulder/. It was just to get him to move out of the way, but it was a touch! From /Jim/!
Sep 28, 2022 • 23 tweets • 5 min read
It took a week for Stede to sleep with the necklace again, mildly afraid of what he’d see. He had no /proof/ that it was Izzy’s dream he’d ended up in, but the lone figure on the shore and Izzy’s comment still unnerved him.

When he tried again, he learned a few things.

(Part 3) First, there was no controlling /who’s/ dream he ended up in.

Stede tried to think of Ed right up until the moment he drifted off, but when he awoke it was back on the deck of the Revenge, in the midst of a brutal scuffle against some…rather cartoonish looking Englishmen.
Sep 14, 2022 • 24 tweets • 5 min read
Izzy had finally started to believe it would all be okay, was the thing.

He’d spent so much time waiting for the other shoe to drop, but then they heard Bonnet had /died/, and with him so did Izzy’s fear that he would once again come steal Edward away.

Yet, there the man is. 🧵 The flood of emotions Izzy feels paralyzes him.

Fear and sorrow swirl through him, both dampened by a layer of weary, bone-deep resignation.

Izzy knew he couldn’t have this, not forever, no matter what Ed promised to him.

He all but begs Stede for a little more time.
Sep 11, 2022 • 11 tweets • 3 min read
Mmm thinking tonight of Izzy being decently well-liked by the crew of the Queen Anne and how much it sucks to go from a ship where you’re home to a ship where no one likes you.

Also obsessed w/ the idea of the crews meeting in a port for the first time and that coming out. The Queen Anne is still technically Ed’s ship and in his fleets, it just operates independently. They both end up docked at the Republic and the second the crew finds out Iz is on land his old buddy heads to the Revenge to fetch him for drinks.
Sep 7, 2022 • 26 tweets • 6 min read
Izzy had discussed restocks with Roach at least a dozen times, but he’d never heard the chef /talk/ so much.

Rather than just list off what the ship needed, he also told Izzy why, and what they were going to be used for.

It took him a minute to understand why.

(Part 5/Final!) “We’ll need at least another few pounds of the dried beef, I try to keep more on hand because I know Captain doesn’t like eggs and he needs the protein.”

Izzy nodded. He had been the one to tell Roach that, Edward would sooner starve than eat an egg. He’d done it once before.
Sep 2, 2022 • 27 tweets • 6 min read
Izzy’s day started normally. He rose just before the sun, dressed methodically, and headed to the galley to brew a cup of coffee.

But when he walked into the kitchen he was not met with the early morning emptiness he was so accustomed to.

He was met with Lucius.

(Part 4) The shock of seeing the scribe up before noon was enough to delay the recognition that the kitchen smelled of a fresh, strong brew. Lucius picked up a steaming mug from next to him on the counter and dramatically offered it to Izzy.

“Coffee black as your soul, Mr. Hands!”
Aug 29, 2022 • 25 tweets • 5 min read
Izzy wanted to hate it. He really, really wanted to hate everything about a /secret fucking closet/ that Stede Bonnet had built into this obscene ship.

But the light was soft, and the room was quiet, and it was comfortable in a way that opened his lungs back up a bit.

(Part 3) Stede wasn’t in the quarters when they arrived, but Edward still ushered him into the wardrobe, knowing that it was the exact kind of environment Izzy needed.

Both of them were sitting on the floor with their backs against the wall, a foot of space between them.
Aug 28, 2022 • 16 tweets • 4 min read
After a few months Izzy could feel himself close to snapping. His body was constantly pulled taught by stress.

Every time he turned around there was something wrong with the ship. He couldn’t fix all of it himself, and nothing stayed in its proper place for him to try.

(Part 2) He could see the ship falling to disrepair in small ways, and he /knew/ those small signs were the first step to bigger problems.

He tried to make just himself a schedule, a mimicry of his old regimen, but every time it was derailed.

There was no winning.
Aug 27, 2022 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
Tonight the group chat has me thinking about a) how there’s not a single neurotypical person on the Revenge, and b) what accommodations they’d all be willing to make for each other.

I’m especially thinking about an autistic Izzy who’s never seen anything like it. 🧵 Izzy was lucky. His needs were relatively simple, and came inherently met with being a pirate and First Mate. He needed a strict routine. He needed repetition. He needed a solid hierarchy that he could fall back on, that told him his place and the places of those around him.