Had Israel lost the war in 1948, there still wouldn't be an independent state of Palestine today, as imagined here in fantasy. The land would've just been carved up by Jordan, Syria and Egypt and absorbed. The clamber for an independent 'Palestine' below would never have existed. This is nothing to do with current intransigence. But the idea that this war was fought to create a new Arab country within the borders discussed today is a myth. It was, ironically, failed Arab colonialism. Jordan, pre-67, were proof that 'Palestine' was never a consideration.

Most of us don't know each other beyond this app. It's arguably better that way. We'd discover the funny ones are dull, the flattering photos misrepresent the flesh or the gobby bravado is misplaced. (1/17) It might have been easy to think those 10 letters and an obscure book cover in a small circle just existed on Twitter, rather than the exceptional brain, wry joker and doting dad that lived and breathed outside this addictive hell site. (2/17)

Welcome to the "Shit Art for Jeremy" competition. A 3-round tournament to find the best piece of "Shit Art".

These are all genuine fan pieces - many you can buy.

6 groups. First place of each goes into the Semi-Final.

All submissions below, followed by the vote.

Pls RT
⬇️ Round 1:

THREAD >>
This tweet below has been rattling around my head all morning. @britsforuyghurs arranged a protest, calling for a stop to the #UyghurGenocide. The number of people in attendance fills me with a personal shame. Read their handmade signs.

1/13

https://twitter.com/BritsForUyghurs/status/1314260077424111616?s=20

We're not dealing in speculation, exaggeration or rumours here. We're dealing in facts.

"FORCED STERILISATION of Uyghur Women".

Organs harvested. Hair shaved and sold. Why does that not shake us ALL to the core of our bones?

2/13

Make no mistake, when @WileyCEO hits rock bottom, when his career lays in tatters, when he is excommunicated and ostracised, he will feel bitter but he will feel vindicated. He will blame "the Jew" and say, "I told you I was right." He won't blame himself. Ever. Sound familiar? Imagine if a Jewish artist (or anyone) had gone on a rampage like this about Black people, pulling out every loathsome trope, threat and aggression from the racist blueprint. Twitter would be aghast. Blue ticks would be lighting up our timelines like good little justice warriors.

THREAD

A brief history of #JewishPrivilege

The final #JoosdayTuesday is the "Joo Years Honours List 2019".

I started this year with about 300 followers, tweeting occasionally. This year's been mad but it's time to chip off Twitter and get back to real-life Global domination.

So here’s my (non-exhaustive) honours list. Dame Emma Picken (@emmacpicken), Sir Euan Philipps (@EuanPhilipps) and Dame Fiona (@SharpeFiona) for noble services to LAAS and the Jewish Community (plus all other @LabourAgainstAS agents)

THREAD:
Today's Cult Hot Take : "Rachel Riley's t-shirt proves she's a Pro-Apartheid racist".

Imagine the mental gymnastics a brain has to navigate to reach this conclusion. Corbynite fantasists love rewriting Jeremy's history.

Here's a blank canvas. I'll start.

#NeverCorbyn

A JOO THREAD

A bit about me, for friends and foes alike. A few myths to dispel and conspiracies to quash. I'm sure much of this applies to many who will read this.

If I agree with your point, I might like or retweet it, whoever or whatever you are. I've float-voted all my voting life, whether that's in local or general elections.

I've voted Labour, Tory, Liberal Democrat, Green, Monster Raving Loony. I've voted Labour more than any other Party.

My family are Labour through and through, for reasons and ties I'd never...

THREAD
1. For a long time now, I've scratched my head over this die-hard, protect-at-all-costs approach to Corbyn by his supporters / allies and wondered why he's so forcefully, obsessively and aggressively protected - often without any compromise. Corbyn is hailed as staunchly 2. anti-racist, fawned over as an untouchable man of peace and defended unequivocally by his devout supporters - despite his well-documented links to bigots, hate-figures, antisemites, terrorist organisations, anti-Western and anti-American factions, dictators, medieval

THREAD
"A Guide to Navigating False Claims & Smears of Antisemitism on Twitter"

1) If they're a writer of best-selling children’s books & calling out antisemitism, they're : Undermining Corbyn / a Zionist shill / a Tory / a tax dodger & should stick to writing about Wizards. 2) If they're a Holocaust Survivor calling out antisemitism, they’ve not learnt their lesson / should know better / are part of an ‘industry’ & probably weren’t there anyway.