are there video games where I just get to walk around? maybe collect things? I don't want to fight and I don't want to figure things out. what I want to do is walk around. I've already played a lot of animal crossing, what I want to do is...walk around somewhere else

Everyone should read everything Taylor Garron (@casualafro) has ever written because she is so fucking funny and smart and always spot on and also looks incredible in every Reductress photo she has modeled in. A quadruple threat.

https://twitter.com/taylorgarron/status/1268258548141764611

Incredible

reductress.com/post/i-dont-ca…

It’s unsolicited tv writer advice season and something I can’t stop thinking about rn is how so many of us who have been lucky enough to make a living writing tv like to pretend it’s a merit based system because it validates us being a part of that system. It is obviously not a merit based system - that’s why we all know like 100 people within it who continue to fail upward. We can’t fault people for looking at a system that has failed them and others for wanting to find a different path forward.

Everyone on The Circle is my best friend, my son, my sister, my cousin, my favorite comedian, my god I only want to talk about the circle now

Haha planned a trip to Europe months ago, got to the airport and found out the airline NO LONGER EXISTED. @Expedia is taking zero responsibility & we keep getting emails like “how was your flight?!” What the absolute hell?? Please do something Expedia I am a comedy influencer. A truly lovely customer service rep encouraged us to buy a last minute flight while we were stranded at the airport & made us confident we’d be reimbursed but now everyone is saying... non

Last year for our 2nd anniversary my husband made a book of me sleeping in all sorts of places & it’s wild that we, as a nation, are not talking about it more There’s text too

A few people have asked so I want to be honest: Yesterday 2000 beads were supposed to be delivered to my house. The tracking info said the beads were delivered, but when I got home... no beads. I'm hoping to get my 2000 beads today, but it's hard to know if I will get my beads. HUGE UPDATE: My 2000 beads were accidentally delivered to my neighbor but she brought my beads (2000) to me. I have my beads now, all 2000 of them. A sampling of my beautiful beads:

I played a spleen on the show Scrubs :) I played a kidney on the show Rizzoli & Isles :)

Every time I take off my phone case I'm like omg my phone is literally gorgeous. It's diving me insane that I can't take a picture of my beautiful phone...with my phone.

Me when I see a dog Me when the dog see me back

I'm who E.T. based on After the viral success of this tweet I decided to make this film: “I’m Who E.T. Based On.” It’s about how I’m who E.T. based on.

I’m so sorry but I actually have to start doing some sponsored content because I am first and foremost an influencer on Instagram. Let me know what you think of my brand! As you all know, my entire family was murdered by a big mean dog when I was a kid, so family traditions were few and far between. What I do remember about my childhood is sitting down to a delicious bowl of mom’s pea protein. Use my code SlutSlutSlut to get 15% off! #ad #bodypos

Tanya, I don't know how to say this but... you are a stupid bitch. so that no one has to click on the article - here is what the hot, sexy mannequin looks like

incorporating my eye twitch into my personality incorporating my arm hair into my personality

As a childless 30-year old woman who's 24/7 vibe is, ultimately, "mom's night out," this is hugely offensive. An Aperol Spritz is the perfect drink for when you're feeling just a "little bit fun."

nytimes.com/2019/05/09/din… An Aperol Spritz is the drink I get when I'm "with my girls" but the bar is quiet because I want to talk about Rose Byrne in Damages.

This film is a song & it is also a DRAMA about my anxiety in social situations & it is called “Everyone At This Party Is Mad At Me.” It cost me 500 billion dollars to learn how to play the guitar this badly. It cost 20 million more dollars to not learn the lyrics.

This is an experimental work. I met this incredible group of actors & just KNEW I had to make a film with them. It's called "A Film Festival Q&A Where Everyone Wants to Know If the Movie Was Improvised." Idk this might be bad. trying desperately to build a media empire around these sheep I met today

Wow ok me w a fresh blowout Me when I get full body bangs

It is scary to be a writer who is very classically *between jobs* and now suddenly without an agent but I love my union and live for this drama.

#IStandWithTheWGA Also I know all this stuff feels insidery but I hope actions like this one ultimately help people in other industries take down the capitalist structures that are syphoning money and power away from the workers.

The press will NOT stop talking about how I went to see Shazam alone. Have not stopped hounding me but I’m not giving a comment sry!!! They are OUTSIDE MY HOME demanding to know if I thought Zachary Levi was “too big” I am scared FOR MY LIFE!!!