I feel unsafe to get on facebook today bcuz two of my friends decided to be antiBlack to me last night and have ruined my sleep & morning with anxiety. They went out their way to misunderstand me and characterize me as controlling and militant for expressing discomfort with A poorly thought out joke by a third person. That person asked for clarification of my thoughts and the other two characterized my replies to the request for clarity as a pile-on and overreaction to a joke (and what they insisted i was saying was not actually what i was saying)

I keep forgetting that Black people are not ever allowed to feel safe or have safe spaces. We try to enter our friends' safe spaces or those of conmunities we are part of, like the queer or disabled communities, only to be rejected as inherently making "their" spaces unsafe Whether by just being Black (or too loudly Black) or asking for the antiBlackness to stop, suddenly we're always ruining someone's "safe space" (really code for a no accountability space) just by existing or asking to be comfortable and not subjected to antiBlackness

This #DisabilityPrideMonth I want to remind everyone that Black disabled ppl exist, that ableism is not the same as racism, that racism affects the way Black ppl experience ableism, and that you don't experience the same things we do, and that's not bad to acknowledge Black disabled ppl represent a huge portion of disabled ppl, are often denied healthcare and diagnoses, are abused and unalived more, and are part of this community and need their concerns addressed with disability advocacy as well. #DisabilityPrideMonth

The way that I can find people that understand why medical care is traumatizing to me on the internet is sanity saving. That ppl malign social media as the death of socializing is really bs considering how much sanity I've recovered via internet friends and kind souls I only know one person irl with trigeminal neuralgia and she doesn't need a dentist, so like, who would understand that traumatizing experience I had with teeth stuff irl? Nobody. Most irl ppl are neck deep in ableism. I'd be super isolated without social media

My disabled ass has a dentist appt tomorrow & I really need rideshare there. The public transit routes are a bit too hard for me to navigate in this heat and in my wheelchair & I desperately need this appt. It's looking like 35 bucks one way
C/app: spooniewolf
V/mo: spooniewolf Can I tell yall how much I hate my trigeminal neuralgia right now? This appointment is to see the oral medicine specialists so we can discuss how to handle my triple rare nerve pain so I can get the deep cleaning I really need since it's been like a decade since I last had that

I don't know why I'm having so many thoughts about the term "noncompliant” today. Part of my issue with it is that it reveals how much HCPs start an interaction by disbelieving marginalized patients. The more axes of marginalization the more disbelief. An example: every neurologist and ER doc I've met asks me if I have diabetes if I mention my nerve pain and paresthesia. They assume the cause is that bcuz I'm fat and Black and most HCPs hold the inaccurate belief that Type2 is caused by fatness and bad diet.

I hate the term "noncompliant" as a patient. It strongly implies a willful refusal to heed the advice of HCPs and it's unevenly applied against patients and is frequently weaponized by HCPs. Drs esp refuse to acknowledge any barriers pts may have to compliance The threat of being labelled noncompliant erodes the trust of patients and is often used to coerce marginalized pts into treatments they can't sustain or that they know will harm them at worst and do nothing at best. It prevents pts from seeking help for problems as well

The really hard thing about being disabled and poor is that you feel like a huge asshole when lots of people give you great suggestions and you have to turn 95% of them down bcuz you don't have the money or space and probably can't handle the cleanup or setup Society goes out of its way to make you feel like a whiny, ungrateful wretch who isn't trying or just wants to complain bcuz you've either already tried something or have reasons you can't try something or don't think it'll work or be worth the effort or money

#BlackLivesMatter be like: stop killing us! Let us live free and in peace! Give us equity! *Sees another marginalized group* hey, hey, hey, them too, give alla dat over there too. Disabled lives? Hell yeah we care, we got them too! #DisabledLivesMatter :
We don't care about or support Black disabled ppl, their needs or movements, we pretend they don't exist, harass them for speaking up, we know nothing about Black activism past or present, but we want them to talk about our problems and work for us

Just racist and ignorant with ya whole chest huh? Let's break this
#DisabledLivesMatter claptrap down cuz this is some trifling ass bullshit. First off, Black folks are disabled too. You can't delete the racism we face or how it affects the ableism we face. Disabled ppl are something like 50-55% of ppl murdered or assaulted by cops. BLM wants an end to *all* police brutality and advocates for such.

Telling Black people, especially Black women, that they're "strong", a "superhero" or are "your hero" for enduring and surviving the realities of oppression, for educating you on their lived experience and/or sharing their trauma with you, is a microaggression. Stop it. Black people are not superheroes just for existing. We don't exactly have a choice in the matter of enduring centuries of genocide and oppression, compounded by any other marginalization we are subjected to, like being queer, trans, disabled or a woman.

#DisabledBlackTalk honest to gods I swear white ppl shouldn't share graphic photos/vids of violence against Black ppl. Y'all lack the range, the nuance, the understanding of when/why/how to use them. Y'all still lack the respect for our bodies, our lives, our humanity Ppl that do trigger warnings for everything else be glossing over Black trauma and brutality and literally don't even realize it, don't even see it sometimes. #DisabledBlackTalk

PSA: telling a disabled person to "stop using that service" in response to them complaining about discrimination is ableist. It's also foolish and callous. And wildly ignorant, since often the entire reason we're using a service is bcuz of *other* barriers from discrimination. Ex: Uber has a problem w/drivers refusing to take service dogs and wheelchair users. Saying "use a real taxi" is foolish and ignorant. Real taxis discriminate against service dog handlers and wheelchair users too! And they don't auto send a new one when the first ditched you!

Racism in healthcare be like
My friend: has no formal training in healthcare, self educated about her conditions.
Docs to her: impressed, treat with more respect, more willing to listen and take seriously, collaborates on treatment plans Me: trained and certified as medical assistant and phlebotomist, 2 years work experience with exposure to variety of specialties, self educated
Docs to me: disrespect, disbelief, treat me like a hypochondriac, condescending, dismissive, dictates rather than collaborates