An absurdist spiral into madness. Overdramatic in profile bios. Apparently I do reviews, too. Crappy Book: https://t.co/4fwtxAxfjj
Jul 1, 2022 • 133 tweets • 16 min read
Not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft Mr Magooed his way through life and given everything with a marginal amount of effort on his own.
So I have about 2-2:30 hours to review this and I have to pick up a delivery at some point in the middle.
This is about the time he stumbled across my snowy retreat and we just...bounded over things.
You know. Writing. Drinking wine. Being hobbled.
This is another one of @StephenKing's amazing books/films that, honestly, the world is a much cooler place with them in it.
So understand this comes from a place of love when I do my stupid schtick.
May 4, 2022 • 203 tweets • >60 min read
In a Galaxy...sorta far away and a long time ago which means everyone involved in the story has been decade for millions of years...comes a story about @Soundsaboutleft slayin' ass and Jedi skull-fucking people.
Not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft and I used to be fighter pilots. Dare I say we were Top Gun pilots.
My call sign was James Garner and his was Ryan Gosling.
This 1986 film stars a couch jumper, a hallucination to a nerd on an island, a principal who calls people slackers, and Doc Holiday (played by the god-tier actor @valkilmer )
This movie is pure 80s action injected into your eyes and I LOVE IT.
Jan 24, 2022 • 154 tweets • 21 min read
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
The greatest trick @Soundsaboutleft pulled was a sick ollie off some dude's garbage cans.
The film stars a whose who of great actors and...uh...
oof...that dude who I didn't replace.
You know what. Let's just get into the movie.
Dec 17, 2021 • 198 tweets • 27 min read
Some people might think that my review about Home Alone 1 was unfair.
Well, Home Alone 2 disapproves any illusions that Kevin's family gives a crap about him.
And it inspired us to make art...which just ended up looking like Shepard Fairey's Stuff
And before people go "It's more relevant now than ever," remember this was made during the Reagan era. It was plenty relevant then (and now).
Nov 22, 2021 • 141 tweets • 19 min read
We all can remember that one golden summer as a child.
And then there's the one where you find a corpse and almost get got by a train.
@Soundsaboutleft and I had one of those summers. He, and I quote, wanted to "see what it's like to poke an eye with a stick."
Stand By Me is wonderful movie about growing up during the 1950s where they walked uphill both ways to get to school.
It also proves that life was simpler back then...and it sucked.
Nov 10, 2021 • 233 tweets • >60 min read
Not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft and I went to wizarding school. Uh, we didn't last long.
Turns out "practicing the dark arts" on week one was seen as a bad thing.
If they didn't want us to learn this shit, they shouldn't have put it in the forbidden section.
Harry Potter is a billion dollar franchise. You know what it's about. You know who is in it.
Or you don't.
If you don't you're such a muggle...which is like...the wizarding slur for 99.99% of the population.
I'm a huge Lee Jung-jae fan (his work in New World is beyond brilliant).
If you haven't seen New World, youtube movies has it free with ads. Watch it!
Oct 29, 2021 • 138 tweets • 19 min read
Not many people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft used to be scientists. Once we were stationed in Antarctica and...the fear and paranoia gripped us...
Mostly because a shape-shifting alien was eating people and turning into them.
The Thing (1982) is the perfect remake. It took a previous story and did something different with it (granted...it was based off a story, but...it did its own thing with the source material).
It is the best horror movie hands down.
Oct 28, 2021 • 208 tweets • >60 min read
So not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft was once dragged into politics by fate.
He went to DC all bright-eyed and bushy-tail. An optimist.
He left and became who he is now if that tells you something.
Let's watch his spiral into insanity.
I vaguely recall this movie. I do know that it seems so quaint to think a lot of politicians in DC aren't just monsters considering the current political climate.
So...this movie is very...very adorable and naive.
Oct 27, 2021 • 128 tweets • 16 min read
Here's the thing. While I was in a coma once, @Soundsaboutleft pretended to be a billionaire and went on some wild adventures.
Uh. Not sure besides a rough concept, but let's find out what happened.
Back in the day, @Soundsaboutleft and I went out into the woods to a camp...can't remember it's name.
Anyway, in the woods we met a nice man who wore a hockey mask despite there being no ice.
He showed us all kinds of fun things to do like stomp the camper and gut the teen.
The 2009 remake of Friday the 13th is like pretty much any horror remake done in the last 20 years...m'eh.
Still, we're going to watch this because I'm in a masochist mood tonight.
Oct 20, 2021 • 146 tweets • 18 min read
We all, sometimes, have bad dreams. However, @Soundsaboutleft and I ran into a situation where our dreams COULD KILL US.
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Yeah. Some creepo was lurking in our dreams whispering things like "I want to see your feet" and "Pour hot wax on me."
So a Nightmare on Elm Street stars one of the greatest horror actors of all time (@RobertBEnglund). Robert Englund made this character iconic. A being of evil that had a weird, disturbing sense of humor that worked.
Freddy is cool (if you ignore all the child murder shit)
Oct 15, 2021 • 185 tweets • 22 min read
I never talk about this, but there was a night...long ago where I was stalked by some creep as I babysat. That creep was the Shape...you call him @Soundsaboutleft
So join me as we hear a tale of ...Halloweeniness.
Halloween is one of the first slashers. I say one of since Black Christmas came out several years before and gave us the killer POV, etc.
Halloween is still a baller as hell film that was a MASSIVE influence on slashers and cinema.
Oct 15, 2021 • 20 tweets • 4 min read
Well, my own hack writing doesn't get any attention. Now, some people would take that as a clue to just give up or, maybe, change their style or actually gain some talent.
Others will just rip off their betters.
So let's do that. The Great Gatsby is in public domain now.
In my younger and more vulnerable years my twin (@Soundsaboutleft ) gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. Mostly because it was fucking stupid.
Oct 15, 2021 • 197 tweets • 25 min read
There was a time that @Soundsaboutleft and I were trapped in a room by a madman who forced us to play such evil games as Red Rover and Saw Your God Damn Leg Off.
We escaped from it and told our story to the police...who chased us off with rubber mallets and tea cozies.
Saw stars the always awesome @Cary_Elwes, the brilliant and talented @MichaelEmerson, the never too old for this shit Danny Glover, the cool as hell Ken Leung, the wonderful Monica Potter, and the Horror Icon @officialtobin.