Not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft Mr Magooed his way through life and given everything with a marginal amount of effort on his own. So I have about 2-2:30 hours to review this and I have to pick up a delivery at some point in the middle.

SO LET'S GET STARTED.

Not a lot of people know this, but I'm @Soundsaboutleft's biggest fan.

This is about the time he stumbled across my snowy retreat and we just...bounded over things.

You know. Writing. Drinking wine. Being hobbled. This is another one of @StephenKing's amazing books/films that, honestly, the world is a much cooler place with them in it.

So understand this comes from a place of love when I do my stupid schtick.

In a Galaxy...sorta far away and a long time ago which means everyone involved in the story has been decade for millions of years...comes a story about @Soundsaboutleft slayin' ass and Jedi skull-fucking people.

This is Star Wars: A New Revenue Stream

#MayThe4thBeWithYou Before I begin you must understand I LOVE THIS MOVIE.

I technically love Empire Strikes Back more, but this movie is amazing.

That being said, I'm going to do my normal "Idiot makes dumb comments as a live review" schtick.

Not a lot of people know, this @Soundsaboutleft used to go up into the Catskills or whatever back when.

We had the time of our lives and we made sure to never be in any corners.

This is...Derpy Dancing. It stars one of the great sex icons of the 1980s...Patrick Swayze. RIP you absolute legend.

Oh...and Jerry Orbach. RIP, too.

And, of course, the wonderful Jennifer Grey (@JenniferGrey).

Not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft and I used to be fighter pilots. Dare I say we were Top Gun pilots.

My call sign was James Garner and his was Ryan Gosling. This 1986 film stars a couch jumper, a hallucination to a nerd on an island, a principal who calls people slackers, and Doc Holiday (played by the god-tier actor @valkilmer )

This movie is pure 80s action injected into your eyes and I LOVE IT.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

The greatest trick @Soundsaboutleft pulled was a sick ollie off some dude's garbage cans. The film stars a whose who of great actors and...uh...

oof...that dude who I didn't replace.

You know what. Let's just get into the movie.

Some people might think that my review about Home Alone 1 was unfair.

Well, Home Alone 2 disapproves any illusions that Kevin's family gives a crap about him.

*burps*

Come watch Saw Alone 2 with @Soundsaboutleft and I.

Or not. I'm not your Santa.

https://twitter.com/Soundsaboutrig4/status/1466853814288281603

It has basically the same cast as the first one, but without John Candy.

It does have a new character: New York City

A place that I love and you know someone is from there because they never shut the hell up about the fact they're from NYC. They're the vegans of locations.

It's starting to become Christmas Time and that gets @Soundsaboutleft and I to thinking about the time we had to defend ourselves using Jigsawesque traps when 2 robbers broke into our humble abode.

I can't wait for a terrible reboot!!

#HomeAlone The movie stars people andfkjsfdlfas...

I got into the egg nog early, so, fuck it. We're skipping to the plot.

Did you know all it takes to realize what's going on is having some sweet sunglasses and a total lack of bubblegum?

Well, @Soundsaboutleft and I found that out the other day.

And it inspired us to make art...which just ended up looking like Shepard Fairey's Stuff And before people go "It's more relevant now than ever," remember this was made during the Reagan era. It was plenty relevant then (and now).

We all can remember that one golden summer as a child.

And then there's the one where you find a corpse and almost get got by a train.

@Soundsaboutleft and I had one of those summers. He, and I quote, wanted to "see what it's like to poke an eye with a stick." Stand By Me is wonderful movie about growing up during the 1950s where they walked uphill both ways to get to school.

It also proves that life was simpler back then...and it sucked.

Not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft and I went to wizarding school. Uh, we didn't last long.

Turns out "practicing the dark arts" on week one was seen as a bad thing.

If they didn't want us to learn this shit, they shouldn't have put it in the forbidden section. Harry Potter is a billion dollar franchise. You know what it's about. You know who is in it.

Or you don't.

If you don't you're such a muggle...which is like...the wizarding slur for 99.99% of the population.

Yeah...they're bigots.

Holy crap, @Soundsaboutleft just survived a bloodpath massacre at a 90s party.

It was insane.

What...

*drops cell phone*

Uh...awkward. Scream is the absolutely brilliant meta humor comedy that came out in the 90s and revitalized horror.

Before it most horror sucked ass and was direct to video.

Let me tell you. One thing you never want to do is join a contest without having any idea about what it's about.

We went in there worrying it'd be something horrible. Instead, we just had to survive red light, gun light.

@Soundsaboutleft worked together to survive #SquidGame If you don't know, this is actually a legit show.

I'm a huge Lee Jung-jae fan (his work in New World is beyond brilliant).

If you haven't seen New World, youtube movies has it free with ads. Watch it!

Not many people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft used to be scientists. Once we were stationed in Antarctica and...the fear and paranoia gripped us...

Mostly because a shape-shifting alien was eating people and turning into them. The Thing (1982) is the perfect remake. It took a previous story and did something different with it (granted...it was based off a story, but...it did its own thing with the source material).

It is the best horror movie hands down.

So not a lot of people know this, but @Soundsaboutleft was once dragged into politics by fate.

He went to DC all bright-eyed and bushy-tail. An optimist.

He left and became who he is now if that tells you something.

Let's watch his spiral into insanity. I vaguely recall this movie. I do know that it seems so quaint to think a lot of politicians in DC aren't just monsters considering the current political climate.

So...this movie is very...very adorable and naive.

Here's the thing. While I was in a coma once, @Soundsaboutleft pretended to be a billionaire and went on some wild adventures.

Uh. Not sure besides a rough concept, but let's find out what happened.

#50shadesofgrey #badlifechoicesforreviews Oh, and to the person who I made the promise long ago I'd live review this movie if it ever came onto a service I have.

How dare you!

Back in the day, @Soundsaboutleft and I went out into the woods to a camp...can't remember it's name.

Anyway, in the woods we met a nice man who wore a hockey mask despite there being no ice.

He showed us all kinds of fun things to do like stomp the camper and gut the teen. The 2009 remake of Friday the 13th is like pretty much any horror remake done in the last 20 years...m'eh.

Still, we're going to watch this because I'm in a masochist mood tonight.

We all, sometimes, have bad dreams. However, @Soundsaboutleft and I ran into a situation where our dreams COULD KILL US.

DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Yeah. Some creepo was lurking in our dreams whispering things like "I want to see your feet" and "Pour hot wax on me." So a Nightmare on Elm Street stars one of the greatest horror actors of all time (@RobertBEnglund). Robert Englund made this character iconic. A being of evil that had a weird, disturbing sense of humor that worked.

Freddy is cool (if you ignore all the child murder shit)

I never talk about this, but there was a night...long ago where I was stalked by some creep as I babysat. That creep was the Shape...you call him @Soundsaboutleft

So join me as we hear a tale of ...Halloweeniness.

#HalloweenMovie #Halloween Halloween is one of the first slashers. I say one of since Black Christmas came out several years before and gave us the killer POV, etc.

Halloween is still a baller as hell film that was a MASSIVE influence on slashers and cinema.

It's legit.

Well, my own hack writing doesn't get any attention. Now, some people would take that as a clue to just give up or, maybe, change their style or actually gain some talent.

Others will just rip off their betters.

So let's do that. The Great Gatsby is in public domain now. In my younger and more vulnerable years my twin (@Soundsaboutleft ) gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. Mostly because it was fucking stupid.

There was a time that @Soundsaboutleft and I were trapped in a room by a madman who forced us to play such evil games as Red Rover and Saw Your God Damn Leg Off.

We escaped from it and told our story to the police...who chased us off with rubber mallets and tea cozies. Saw stars the always awesome @Cary_Elwes, the brilliant and talented @MichaelEmerson, the never too old for this shit Danny Glover, the cool as hell Ken Leung, the wonderful Monica Potter, and the Horror Icon @officialtobin.

As well as other fantastically talented people.