actor | copywriter | writer writer | “My BFF!” -Betty Buckley | opinions are my own and objectively correct | she/her
Jan 20, 2022 • 26 tweets • 5 min read
Good day. This is the actual plot of The Music Man by Meredith Wilson*.
*Who was NOT a closeted lesbian who dared to pen a queer-coded opus & sit back of house during tech smoking cigars in a 3 piece suit. (But Virginia, she exists as certainly as love exists in our gay hearts!)
-All aboard the Exposition Express! WOO WOO!
-The Greek Chorus of Miffed Patter complains about how human innovation's bad for business.
-And have you heard about this CON MAN who bankrupts towns?
-How MIFFED we are! Why if that CON MAN was here I'd give him a piece of my—
(2)
Dec 6, 2021 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
1. With #Annie back in the zeitgeist where it belongs (ty #AnnieLive), I thought I'd repost my magnum opus, my Annie sequel mega-thread, Annie Get Your Gun: A Tale of Bloody Vengeance. But half of it is gone?
So I went on a zhuzhing spree.
I give you:
Annie Get Your Gun: Redux
2.
The prison gates open & Agatha Hannigan steps out into the rain. She squints into the distance before turning & making her way to the bus stop.
Perched on the hood of her car, watching, waiting, Molly smiles.
"Annie," she says to the redheaded driver, "Get your gun."
May 7, 2021 • 29 tweets • 7 min read
Listen. It took me years to realize I stopped auditioning for musical theater not bc I was lazy, but bc I was in pain. It wasn’t the rejection—it was walking into a room & being made to feel like your body was unreasonable, that by showing up you were wasting everyone’s time.
It was standing in a row with 30 girls in leotards and LaDucas and watching the casting director’s eyes skip over you as he scanned the line, or mindlessly push your headshot to the rejection pile with without even looking at you long enough to see your face.
May 5, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
PRINCE: Excuse me, but are there any other v young women in this house who’ll try on this shoe? I’m like, very bad with faces.
CINDERELLA: I WILL.
PRINCE: That foot—I would know it anywhere, it’s-
CINDERELLA: Webbed. Yes.
PRINCE: Exquisite.
CINDERELLA: Hey hon, for dinner do you want-
My name’s Peggy Schuyler & this is the first time I’ve ever started a sentence that isn’t just a continuation of what my sisters are already saying! I have so much to say I could burst!
Um.
My dress is yellow.
Mother says that she doesn’t remember if I was born or just followed Eliza in off the street one day. Angelica says Mother just doesn’t remember bc the day I was born she spent 72 excruciating hrs inhaling the ladunum-soaked birthing cloth that was also her only menstrual rag.
