Whoa. The firefighters arrived a lot faster than I thought was even possible. That feels really sketchy. Like, how did they get there so fast?

Can someone explain why there was a SYRINGE on the cover of this old sound effects LP? Like, did syringes used to make noise? And, if so, what kind of noise? I imagine a slide whistle, except instead of a "whoo-ooo-oop" it was more like the sound of people being tortured in hell. Oh, Dear God in Heaven, there were several of these records.

I think I figured this out: The anonymous Trump administration official working to thwart the president's agenda is U.S. Ambassador to Russia Jon Huntsman, with a writing assist from Ian Bremmer. (I think.) Here's why...

nytimes.com/2018/09/05/opi… My first guess was Larry Kudlow. He’d written about “first principles” before. But the cadence didn’t feel “Kudlowy,” so I started focusing on small bits of text, searching individual words and phrases. When I did, Ian Bremmer’s work kept popping up.

foreignpolicyconcepts.com/ian-bremmer-on…

Buckle up, buttercups. My news writing students have turned in their first assignment of the year, and if I'm going to remain even a little bit sane and sober while grading these papers today, I'm going to need AN OUTLET FOR MY FURY. First article of the day: This woman doesn't know how to spell the name OF HER OWN CHURCH. Can someone come over with some whiskey and pour it into my coffee? Or just some straight poison. Put me down. Please.

I spent several years of my life working in Sensitive Compartmented Information Facilities, and this is what I learned: There is no level of security that can keep these places secure if the people running them don’t have the trust and respect of their subordinates. #OmarosaTapes If Omarosa took recordings in the Situation Room, and it appears she did, it’s not simply an indication that a “lowlife” breached security; it’s a sign of a failure to create a culture of trust and respect.

Do you know the story of the first elephant to arrive in America? It’s a rather remarkable tale. Gather ‘round for a #WorldElephantDay story… In 1796, a ship captain named Jacob Crowninshield went to go pick up a merchant vessel, called America, for a commercial fleet owner in Boston. But there was no sense in bringing home an empty ship. So Jacob stopped in Calcutta. That’s where he saw an elephant—and hatched a plan.

The guy behind us at this @NWSL game has no idea how this game works, but is explaining soccer to his family with a brand of confidence that would make @Ibra_official seem modest. Among other tidbits I'm picking up: penalty kicks are awarded for "really bad fouls."

I'm usually rushing through @SanDiegoAirport. Today I got here early and my plane was delayed, so I got to slow down. I'm really glad I did. Security. No line. Just a TSA agent wearing hijab and her co-worker buddy, with his blue sleeves rolled up and rocking some rad Polynesian tattoos. They’re cracking jokes, keeping it light, loving life, and doing their best to keep us safe.

Donald Trump swore an oath to faithfully execute the office of the president, the responsibilities of which include enforcing the laws of the United States. If he believes the Mueller investigation is illegal, he has a constitutional obligation to end it.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1023653191974625280

Our Constitution is not Schrödinger's Cat. An investigation cannot be deemed illegal by the chief executive and permitted to run its legal course at the same time.

You might remember 1990 as the year Nelson Mandela was freed, Margaret Thatcher resigned, George H.W. Bush sent U.S. troops to face-off against Saddam Hussein. But in the small town of Angels Camp, California, 1990 will always be remembered as the year THIS thing came to town... This, my friends, is a goliath frog, a native species from Middle Africa that has been known to feast on turtles, birds and bats. Essentially, what you’ve got here is a frog the size of a really fat house cat. And when Andy Koffman heard about them, he had a Grand Idea.

OK, I think I get how this works. You just have to say "Russia, if you're listening," and whatever you say next gets the full force and power of the Russian government behind it! Try it! Russia, if you're listening, reunite the thousands of migrant children who have been taken from their families.

It's well past 1 a.m., and I'm finishing up a 3,000-plus word day, so I'm a little loopy. Seems like a good time for a confession. Bless me Twitter, for I have sinned... So, where to start? Um, a few years ago, I got a call from @sharonmoalem, who says, "come help me write a book about epigenetics" and I say "I don't know anything about that" and he says "I do. I'll show you." And a year and some months later, there was this.

Every year on the Fourth of July, early in the morning, a dear English friend sends me a note. It’s a very simple act, but it means everything to me. It gives me hope... We tend to celebrate our revolution without really thinking about how truly horrific it was. American and British troops tortured each other, burned one another alive, and wantonly violated all established rules of warfare. Our nation was born of atrocity. nytimes.com/2017/05/19/boo…

When my students arrive next month, this is what I will tell them. This is not hyperbole. It’s part of my teaching philosophy. But IT'S NOT EASY BEING MEAN. If you want to be a tough teacher, here are some questions you should be able to answer... I don’t accept the idea that toughness is a personality trait. Toughness is a tool. And when tools are used without intentionality, someone is going to get hurt. This isn't "just who I am," it's how I accomplish my objective of preparing my students to become better writers.

Getting pumped up to go back to the classroom next month by reading student reviews of my classes... "I've never had a more stressful class. LaPlante isn't afraid to tell you that what you said was stupid. Every time I got an assignment back from him my stomach dropped."

Some dude just tried to carry four bags onto this flight. Not small ones, either. He is not happy that the gate agent stopped him. "I'm in first class," the dude says. "It doesn't matter," the gate agent replies. "You can't carry that many bags onto the plane."

When I met Francisco Jose in El Salvador, we bonded over our love for our daughters, who are close in age. “I try to tell my kid a bedtime story each night,” I told him. “Me too,” he said. On this Father’s Day, I want to tell you about the stories Francisco tells his daughter... When we met, Francisco was getting his daughter ready to leave for the United States. She was 12 years old. That’s about the age that girls begin to be taken as property by the violent gangs that control El Salvador. That’s why he was sending her away.
theguardian.com/global-develop…

I’ve reported on wars, natural disasters, political scandals and serial killers. So sometimes it surprises people when I tell them I once covered the Miss America pageant. Here’s how that happened, and how I came to loathe the swimsuit competition… There is, I’ve learned, no such thing as a “typical” pageant participant. But Jill Stevens was more atypical than most: An Army medic who had served a tour of duty in Afghanistan before being crowned “Miss Utah” in 2007.

OH. MON. DIEU!!! I have discovered FrancoCountry music and plan to blast it at @stephenpdark and @gaileyfrey -- at ear-bleed-inducing volumes, of course -- for the next nine hours. Que c'est délicieux ! Maybe not. @stephenpdark is bringing a hatchet.

A woman from Utah tweeted out a list of the “dumbest” names from her kid’s middle school yearbook. That was her word: Dumbest. It went viral, of course. Because bullying is funny, I guess? I teach at a university in this state. Let me tell you about what happens to these kids… So, here’s what happens to kids with non-traditionally spelled names when they grow up: Some people, like me, can’t pronounce their names at first. (Pause for effect.) And so we have to ask. (Gasp!) And then they have to answer. (Scary music!) Horrifying, isn’t it?

After being convicted by a federal jury of a hate crime against a black neighbor, this man faced up to 10 years in prison. Prosecutors recommended a sentence of four years. But he’ll be out of jail in… wait for it... THREE WEEKS!