🧵 Red flag behaviours, traits & personalities. 🚩

1. Accusers.

People who try to shut down arguments by implying you’re bad/evil/problematic/an idiot if you don’t agree with them.

I’m not moved by your tantrums or threatened by your labels. 2. Dehumanisation.

𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 who dehumanises entire groups of people. That crows callously at death, pain or the misfortune of others. Who can rationalise believing some lives are ‘more equal’ than others.

🧵 1/ Reasons I hate “therapy speak.” 2/ The most selfish person you’ve ever met now justifies their lack of consideration with “boundaries.”

1/ This whole Kanye situation is a sign of how sick this time is.

First there’s Kanye who is clearly mentally ill spewing vile antisemitism and being repeatedly platformed by people using him for views. 2/ The combination of mental illness, narcissism, yes men and a huge platform is not a good one.

Add to that leech like characters attaching themselves to him to resuscitate their own careers.

1/ Be very, very, careful with social media ‘therapy’ that sells you the narrative that less than perfect parents ‘traumatised’ you. 2/ And be especially wary of any advice that encourages you to cut them & other close relationships off under the guise of ‘boundaries.’

Indiscriminately cutting people off isn’t boundaried- it’s reactive.

Some reminders for #InternationalMensDay

• 87% of homeless people are men.
• 3 out of 4 people who die by suicide are men.
• 9 out of 10 people who sleep on the street are men.
• Men are twice as likely to be victims of violent crime. • Men are 3x more likely to develop alcohol dependence.
• Men are more likely to use (& die from) illegal drugs.
• Men have measurably lower social support.
• Men are far less likely to access psychological therapies.

🧵 Read this if you feel STUCK. 1/ “Stuckness” is an awful feeling.

You want to move but you can’t.

And it doesn’t feel like it’s in your control.

This can agony- but read on, you can get ‘unstuck.’

The Queen ruled all of my life, and all of my mother’s life.

When I lost my mother last year it felt like the world had become colder. I have a similar feeling today.

It really is the end of an era. The Queen, whether or not you are a royalist, was a constant. A touch stone.

She was the longest reigning monarch in British history, she served her country for 70 years.

Let’s talk about male privilege.

• 87% of homeless people are men.
• 9 out 10 people who sleep rough are men.
• Most people in prison are men.
• 94% of people who die at work are men.
• Most people who die in war are men. • Men are more likely to be made redundant & less likely to be re-employed.
• White working class men are the least likely to go to university.
• Male victims of CSA & r*pe get less support than women.
• International labour laws protect everyone but men.

🧵 I don’t believe in cancel culture.

And I also don’t believe in being a pushover. • Don’t start anything.
• Don’t harass people for their opinions.
• Don’t be a plagiarist.
• Don’t lie or destroy reputations.
• Don’t recruit people to hate campaigns.

But if someone does this to you: PUSH BACK.

🧵 1/ Whenever I talk about personal responsibility on IG- the same thing happens.

Woke white westerners start scolding, chiding or outright harassing me, an Indian immigrant, about ‘oppression’. 2/ As someone who grew up in a third world country outside the west, I’m pretty familiar with what ‘oppression’ is, thank you.

Certainly more familiar than first world middle class university educated wokescolds.

🧵 I’ve been frustrated by a few things:

•social media ‘therapy’
• ideology in therapy
• cancel culture

So I built a solution. A non ideological place where everyone is welcome.

• No thought policing
• No cancel culture tolerated
• Everyone has the right to their views
• We agree to disagree like adults

🧵 1/ The ‘everyone has trauma’ narrative is EXTREMELY profitable.

Because you can sell it to *anyone*. 2/ Any vague poorly defined symptom you can think of:
• Overthinking
• People pleasing
• Perfectionism
• Self-doubt
• Low self-esteem
• Not liking broccoli
• Bad at parallel parking

‘Diagnosis’ (with no further examination): “Trauma!”

🧵 1/ I’ve seen lot of posts saying ‘breaking: chemical imbalances do not cause depression.

We know this.

Published in 2005. 2/ Published in 2011.

🪡 Don’t misuse words.

If you mean, ‘upset’ or ‘distressed’- say that.

Not ‘trauma’ or ‘traumatic’. If you mean ‘that makes me uncomfortable and I can’t articulate why.’

Say that.

Not “this is problematic.”

🧵 I'm a bit (a lot) sick of people with questionable morals policing everyone else's morality. No one voted them in to act as judge, jury & executioner.

To take on the lofty mantle to proclaim other people as 'unsafe', 'problematic' or label them abhorrent things.

🪡 1/ Children shouldn’t be raised to be ashamed of their bodies or think sex is dirty.

But you can ONLY do this with VERY STRICT BOUNDARIES around what is *AGE* APPROPRIATE.

Once again: AGE APPROPRIATE.

(caps so it’s clear 😅) 2/ Appropriate for a 2 yr old: no awareness of either subject.

Is different to what is appropriate for a 10 yr old: starting to ask questions.

Is diff to a 13 yr old: needs to understand why their body is changing & be supported through those challenges.

1/ It would really easy for someone with actual PTSD to read social media “trauma healing” content and feel like a failure. 2/ Actual PTSD will not be resolved with cold plunges, journalling, time in nature, or sun exposure.

(As nice as these things might be)

1/ You don’t have to publicly comment on heart breaking tragedies you’re still trying to process.

You don’t need a public opinion on everything. 2/ You don’t have to stay logged on consuming every hot take & the news if it impacts your well-being.

It doesn’t help the victims for you to sacrifice your peace of mind.

1/ A story in 4 parts. 2/ Making space.

1/ There’s such an unfortunate pop psychology trend towards finding reasons to blame parents.

Parents who did nothing egregious & did the very best they could with what they had. 2/ Your parents probably didn’t make you “feel seen and heard” 24/7. That’s life.

We are so lacking in basic perspective that things like this get used as cudgels against parents- as if any of this is easy.

🧵 Fascinating new research describes a personality disordered trait exactly as we see in the woke. The features:
a) constantly seeking recognition for ones victimhood
b) moral elitism
c) a lack of empathy for the pain of others
d) ruminating about victimisation 2/ This personality construct is called ‘Tendency For Interpersonal Victimhood (TIV)’.