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Listen. It took me years to realize I stopped auditioning for musical theater not bc I was lazy, but bc I was in pain. It wasn’t the rejection—it was walking into a room & being made to feel like your body was unreasonable, that by showing up you were wasting everyone’s time.
It was standing in a row with 30 girls in leotards and LaDucas and watching the casting director’s eyes skip over you as he scanned the line, or mindlessly push your headshot to the rejection pile with without even looking at you long enough to see your face.
It was the urge to walk up to the only other big girl in the holding room & sit in silent camaraderie, while secretly hating she was there. There were only so many “old lady” (or “fat friend” or “clueless teen” or “sassy villain”) roles to go around and they’d never cast you both
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