1
OK folks, looks like it is time to start another thread.
The hashtag this time is #YeBhaaratKePatrakaar!
Here's the first sample!
2
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Bhai pehle decide kar lo kisne kis par assault kiya!
3
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Maths thoda kamzor hai hamara!
4
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Yup, BREAKING NEWS indeed!
🤣
5
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We have finally found the answer to Akkal Badi Ya Bhains.
It is BHAINS which is bigger!
Here is proof by one of our most 'renowned' Patrakaars!
6
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Glamour Parmo Dharmah!
So what if it is about the story of a lady who talks about sexist stereotypes.
In any case, irony never was our strongest quality, right?
7
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Arre bhai, ye kaisi democracy chala di in India Today waalon ne?
🤣
8
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Sometime in 2012 IIRC - Aur ye rahi Ek Bagh aur Baaghin ki Prem Kahani, India TV ki zubaani!
It has all the twists - Love Sex aur Dhokha!
9
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Fact Checking?
Oh, we outsource that to the social media!
For us, Agenda reigns supreme, not facts!
10
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Our opinions too keep 'evolving' .. you cannot call them double standards!
11
#YeBhaarataKePatrakaar
If only jumping to (unsubstantiated) conclusions was an Olympic Sport .. By God Ki Kasam, ITNE SAARE medal lekar aate hum log!
12
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, btw, we have a new definition of 'Classy'.
It means someone who DOES NOT support the Indian Armed Forces!
13
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
THANK GOD FOR DOORDARSHAN!
14
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
And we can do magic too - for example, we can 'magically' turn the burning towers of the World Trade Center into power plants that pollute India!
15
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
ALWAYS remember - hum karein toh 'evolving' opinions!
😂
16
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Atleast they got the word 'Council' correct!
🤣
17
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
If only she had consulted a dictionary or maybe that English guide book this joker was supposedly consulting, she might have found the correct spelling of stationEry!
18
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
So the BSF guns down Paki intruders, and what do we do?
We promptly pic up a pic of an Indian Army Operation in Arnia and publish it with our report!
19
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
It was an India Vs Australia match, but to our horror, Australia started bowling against Australia after winning the toss!
Hamari bechari Indian team ki to uss din ki दिहाड़ी maari gayi!
😂
20
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
And we keep it 'classy'.
ALWAYS!
21
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Beti Padhao .. tabhi toh protest ke time placard seedha pakdegi bechari!
22
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We are also connoisseurs of fine art and budding artists, no matter how depraved they might be!
But we are simply appalled by the way common people keep offering us gratuitous advice, seriously.
23
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
I simply REFUSE to accept this 'clarification' .. ulta aur confuse kar diya hai mere ko!
24
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Our biggest 'achievement' is that of exporting our editorial 'standards' abroad, Sachchi!
😂
25
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Not very many would be aware, but we are military experts par excellence too.
For example, we know that you need to have a minimum of 21 fatalities, else your battle will be called 'not much of a battle'.
Take that, Clausewitz!
26
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Thank God no one has yet done a survey of which profession 'boasts' of the largest gathering of double digit IQ dimwits, else, we'd be world famous!
27
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
When the editor of The Telegraph said that removal of Modi wass a 'righteous' task!
Yup .. we are as unbiased as it can get!
28
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Anyone remember the movie 'Face-Off'?
Well, we can do it too .. and that too, along with a rest of the body switch!
29
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaari
Different festivals .. same fasting .. different coloured glasses from which we view them!
One type of fasting is unhealthy while the other is .. well .. AWESOME!
30
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, while we are at the topic of double standards, here's what we think of freedom of speech - it too is relative, depending upon our blinkered worldview!
31
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
And who can forget this twitter poll by @vivekagnihotri!
Saala ZERO percent vote diya hamare ko!
Heck, more people voted that they believe Pakistan than they believed in Indian Media!
Itni Izzat mili ki aankhon mein aansu aa gaye .. subak .. subak
😭
32
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Will someone please tell these idiots that the Great Indian Bustard is a BIRD!
Arre bhai, wikipedia hee dekh lete!
33
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, the 'love' and 'affection' we get from our 'fans'!
Mindblowing, I tell you!
😂
34
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Sometimes we also wish death for 'inconvenient' politicians.
But when called out for the 'jokers' that we are, we delete such tweets.
Btw, I really didn't know whether to post this here or in #NDTV thread since her Twitter bio says 'Now NDTV'!
35
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Dear @financialxpress,
The bird in the pic is
1. NOT THE HAWK
2. NOT SINGLE ENGINED
3. NOT JET POWERED
4. NOT A TRAINER
5. NOT USED FOR FINAL STAGE OF FIGHTER PILOT TRAINING
#JustSaying
🤣
36
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
The only problem with a low IQ and disconnect with our own culture is that we open ourselves to such 'showing of mirrors' by any and everyone!
Arre bhai, Puja ka muhurat samaapt hone tak toh intezar kar liya hota 'peaceful' diwali tweet karne se pehle!
🤣
37
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Anyone remember this piece which led to the sacking of IANS Bureau Chief and Political Editor?
Personal political biases are still understandable.
But it takes a special kind of idiot to lose his/her job over it!
Bloody Unprofessional Dolts!
😂
38
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
While on the topic of 'inadvertant' postings on official handles by the idiots who are entrusted with them, this one from @aajtak is in a league of its own!
^^
39
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
As if that were not enough, they then went on to apologize and explain it away using the OFFICIAL @aajtak handle yet again!
Some people are just born special, I tell you!
Well, atleast they had the decency to call their dolt patrakaar a human!
🤣
^^
40
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Aur phir thook kar chaatna toh hamein aata hee hai!
But we will forever be pained at the fact that despite our begging, that too from the official @aajtak handle, this person DID NOT DELETE the tweet .. 😢
Share this Scrolly Tale with your friends.
A Scrolly Tale is a new way to read Twitter threads with a more visually immersive experience.
Discover more beautiful Scrolly Tales like this.