Thread by @RJSHutton

It's surprisingly easy to picture how UK journalists would behave under a military dictatorship.

A thread about the regime of Britain's ruler, General Killmore, being fearlessly held to account by the British press.

Kuenssberg: after months of speculation, the leader of the Opposition was today found buried in an unmarked grave.

Opposition MPs blamed agents of General Killmore. But when I asked him, he seemed reluctant to agree.

Marr: General Killmore - several of your critics, in exile, have suggested that the recent wave of indefinite detentions,
which you had ordered, may have worrying implications for democracy.

How do you respond to that?

Fiona Bruce: Here's our first audience question, and tonight it's about civility in politics #bbcqt:

"Are critics of the government too aggressive when it comes to discussing so-called 'disappearances', and 'beatings'?"

Here's our second question for the audience tonight #bbcqt:

"We've all lost small items, and been unable to find them when needed.

Does it matter that state prosecutors lost the evidence they required, just before General Killmore's trial for corruption charges?"

Our third and final question #bbcqt:

"General Killmore unveiled his new campaign slogan today: 'Enemies of the people will perish'.

Is it needlessly divisive, as critics claim; or daringly provocative?"

Andrew Neil: Now, people often store things in drawers for the sake of convenience.

So, what if, instead of drawers, they used prison cells; and instead of 'things', it was opponents of the government?

#TomorrowsPapersToday

Daily Mail: Let us advance to our glorious destiny. All hail General Killmore. All hail his benevolent rule.

Telegraph: 'Join me or die' - General Killmore issues an eye-catching pledge to voters.

#TomorrowsPapersToday

Guardian: General Killmore refuses to rule-out suspending Parliament permanently.

The Sun: Onlookers stunned as Killmo flaunts his muscular curves in sizzling mankini beach snaps.

#TomorrowsPapersToday

Independent: Government set to announce new laws, and new punishments for breaking them.

Times: Government outlines bold agenda for reform.

The Spectator would come into its own.

Rod Liddle: People who moan about General Killmore for merely imposing commonsense, and martial law, are the REAL enemies of freedom.

Brendan O'Neill: It's not government "censorship", but the Opposition's linguistic fascism, which REALLY imperils free speech.

Nick Cohen: It isn't military dictatorships which should worry us. The radical student Left are the REAL fascists.

Burchill: Fascism? If the alternative is Brommunism, I know which I'd prefer.

A human rights lawyer tries to impeach the government.

Her youngest brother had been involved in student protests; then mysteriously vanished one night, never to be seen again.

GuidoFawkes:

EXCLUSIVE - former waitress behind lawsuit against the government once had an affair with a married man.

Guardian comment: Suspending parliament, imposing curfews, exiling opponents - has General Killmore gone too far?

Our panel responds.

Elsewhere on the Guardian's website:

John Harris: Middle-class liberals complain about the use of torture - but on the backstreets of Sussex, I found people who long for law and order.

Jonathan Freedland: We still don't really know how to deal with fascism.

On the one hand, we can do something about it. On the other, we can do nothing.

It's impossible to say which is the better option.

A general strike is called against the government.

Industrial workers rally against plans to ban unions.

Observer editorial: Unions must call off this provocative strike.

Instead of launching an uprising against authorities, disgruntled workers should take the more civil approach of constructive engagement.

The strike proceeds...to be crushed by armed police. And soldiers.

Scores of fatalities are reported in the underground press. International observers suggest the total could be much higher.

Observer editorial: Both sides must take their share of the blame.

The police could have shown more restraint; but
invective leveled against the government by protesters is demeaning to the entire political process.

James O' Brien: "I just cannot fathom how stupid opponents of the government are actually being.

Protests? Strikes? Hospitalisation? You don't defeat fascists by descending to their level.

You do it by posing superior arguments, in the market place of ideas!".

Telegraph comment: Here's to the heroic workers, who banded together - & refused to strike - triumphing over their evil union representatives by volunteering to work without pay; so that their employers might be the more properly rewarded for the wealth-creating endeavours.

A former member of the government writes in exile: 'I no longer recognise the military dictatorship I served in, for 9 years'.

(cont.) "The restoration of order was all well and good; while cleansing certain neighbourhoods of undesirables was welcome.

But the new re-education programme is jeopardising Britain's reputation for tolerance, and fair play".

Observer comment: If members of the government are concerned about what their dictatorship is becoming, they should speak up now, before it is too late.

The Night of Blunt Knives follows.

Less trusted officials of the regime are deposed, and made to return home, then remain indoors. Until further notice.

#TomorrowsPapersToday

Telegraph: In a stunning move, General Killmore plants his flag on the centre ground of British politics.

Times: In a decisive move, General Killmore parks his tanks firmly on opponents' lawns.

#TomorrowsPapersToday

Daily Mail: Destroy them. Destroy them all.

Free giant map of Great Britain inside tomorrow's edition.

Opinion polls:

Latest poll shows General Killmore's regime are on course for a landslide majority, in our single party state.

Guardian comment: Has the centre ground of British politics now shifted towards dictatorship?

Our Panel responds.

Beth Rigby: admirable message discipline from Killmore.
"Tremble before me, and weep" 25 times on #Marr.

Yet to see how this will play out among voters in Nuneaton.

@BBCPolitics: we have deleted an earlier tweet.

To clarify the headline, General Killmore has not "liquidated his foes". Nor has he ever "threatened media outlets" with "dire consequences".

We can only apologise for any misunderstanding.

@BBCPolitics The last word, of course, would go to blueticks on Twitter.

@BBCPolitics Peston: General Killmore is an increasingly divisive figure.

Widely regarded as the most #oppressive #tyrant alive today. Even friends call him "unhinged".

@BBCPolitics Sky: *Breaking News: General Killmore has died*

@BBCPolitics Peston: Let us speak no ill of the General. The hashtag #GeneralKillNoMore is tasteless, in the extreme.

He was a controversial figure, certainly; but delightful at dinner parties. I, for one, will miss him dearly.

@BBCPolitics If you want a vision of the future, imagine a human face tutting, and murmuring that 'it's all very unpleasant, but regrettably necessary', forever.

The end.