Thread by @OC_PDX

Dealing with paranoia when being suspicious is important:
Paranoia is a defense mechanism that, alongside anger, will hurt you and your organizing if gone unchecked. Below are some tips (far from comprehensive) for managing it. #pdxprotests #portlandprotests
#blmpdx

Out and about: tell ppl when you're leaving the house and where you're going. Start shifting your behavior from going out alone to scheduling errands with buddies. Get a tazer/mace. Don't feel silly crossing the street if there's a car that's worrying you.

At home: get to know your neighbors, sleep with a weapon near your bed. Develop affirmations that your home is a safe space, have calls with comrades. Find friends that live nearby that are available to swing by during the night. Stop yourself from looking out windows.

I have been driven to an anxiety attack because one of my neighbors has a car with tinted windows that drove past me. Catch yourself making conclusions w/o evidence and have a group chat for random things that make you worried and MOVE ON unless you have something concrete.

Now, the big one. Paranoia while you're organizing and not just protesting.
Any time a white, masculine-looking person walks up to me, my pulse skyrockets. That's a part of the trauma we're facing. I'm posting what I have because this next part is big and important.

Part of seeking true liberation is building the world we envision in our organizing. That is how we survive and how we keep ourselves centered. And yes, part of that is seeing the white people who have earned our trust and respect as partners in our collective liberation.

Every interaction is a microcosm of power imbalances, many of which we are unaware of. People don't look at me and know I'm trans, chronically ill, and autistic. I have to be gracious in my work with people who don't know all of the microaggressions they're committing.

Decisions should center the people who are most affected by the issue at hand. That's basic leftist theory. But when we're organizing, we can't hold white race traitors at an arm's length. They have recognized the advantage they unwittingly received and are *throwing it away*

The white people I choose to organize with are all in. Most white protestors at the JC are DOING what is asked of them, even when they disagree. And the police hate them basically just as much as they hate us, because they are, explicitly, traitors.

All of this is to say, the only way to deal with paranoia in organizing is to deliberately and intentionally place trust. When someone comes up to you and says "how can I help," know a simple and low-risk way they CAN help. If they follow through, you take one more step.

Another important detail: honesty. Tell someone when you're withholding information that's sensitive. It's nothing personal, you just don't know them well. If they get upset at this, odds are they're not a good organizing partner. The first time you take a risk with your trust...

... be cognizant of that risk and make sure it's not something that will be catastrophic if they betray that trust (intentionally or not). An exhausting amount of organizing is outreach. Talking to the people who just showed up, who have been doing their work in the background...

...the people who for whatever reason wasn't here before, but is ready now. That is how a movement grows! Relationships - personal, 'professional,' and community - are the only healthy way to manage paranoia in dangerous situations. And it's how you build a movement, too!

Ok i got really tired by the end of this thread so I got repetitive. But seriously, without managing the very rational suspicion you're feeling, factions will develop and people will burn out. If you dont trust someone, respect the common goal and respond accordingly.