Thread by @alt_fda

There is a lot of chatter about #vaccines and phases right now but it’s all at a science level and we know the understanding is getting lost so, #Thread 🧵

Let’s look at the phases like a Midwest Christian out on the dating scene after their first marriage.

Phase 1- You’re on your 4th date and no red flags have popped up so it’s time to see what each other is bringing cash and prizes wise to the relationship.

You do a little heavy petting, some kissing, maybe even some sorta oral and agree that each of you are ok with the data you’ve provided and agree to move forward.

Phase 2- 2 weeks later after you have prayed and discussed every last detail with your friends, you set up sex date 2 (this one you go all the way!).

The next day you’re all wine hung over but don’t feel like you have a walk of shame out to your car. The sex was good but they couldn’t quite get you there with their data. On the plus side, they used protection and no harmful side effects (baby) appeared.

Phase 3- 2 days later and it’s fucking on! The sexting has you all worked up and ready to see what they really have to offer.

Your friend reminds you though, the third sex is where all the freaky stuff comes out.

You’re like whatever! I got this based on previous data.

Phase 3 (that night)- You’re doing it and during a pause for a wine sip, they whip out a gimp mask!

You’re like wtaf! That reaction came out of nowhere. Well it’s not serious and probably not going to happen often so you put the mask on.

At the end of your night, they orgasamed 4 times and they only made you see the light once.

Data review- You’re home, you’re talking over the trial with your thirsty bestie and realize that they were only 25% effective and had a rare but pronounced side effect (gimp mask fetish).

In the end the Vaccine was marginal and while safe, you could not give it’s number to your thirsty ass cougar friend.