The Kool-Aid Kronicles, Chapter 12
@massgop, under crackpot chairman @JimLyonsMA, has devolved into 2 factions, one that wants to win an occasional election. The other is Jim Jones Lyons’ sad collection of cranks, has-beens, and shut-ins.
The Losers’ Club is what they are. They’re desperate to be… somebody. But they can’t win an election – except to @massgop.
If you’ve ever wondered why they’re not upset about how Lyons has wrecked MA GOP, it’s because their own sad dreams have already been personally crushed by the voters.
Today we begin our examination of the Losers Club of Jim Jones Lyons & his chief deputy loser, Geoff “DoorDash” Diehl.
Lyons, 68, started losing young, at age 24. He was a Democrat in his first two losses, in 1978 & 1982 primaries for state senate in Arlington.
Then he became a Republican, won a few races for state rep & fought Trump tooth & nail in 2016. Lyons was a rabid Cruz delegate to the national convention in 2016.
He lost his state rep’s seat in 2018, perhaps because of the terribly feeble GOP candidate for US Senate – Door Dash Diehl.
Diehl was badly defeated in a special state Senate election in 2015, beaten worse in 2018 by the fake Indian, and crushed even more soundly for governor last year. Oh, & when he tried to run for @massgop chairman in 2019, he was trounced by… Jim Jones Lyons!
Let’s introduce you to some of Jim Jones Lyons’ dead-enders on the MA GOP state committee. Give me an L, give me an O, give me an S, give me an E, give me an R
What’s that spell? LOSER!!!
This is Jay McMahon age 69, of Bourne.
“Please, somebody stop me before I lose again!”
Here’s McMahon’s gaudy record:
1998 state rep: lost, 15.7% (ran as independent).
2018: state AG, lost, 30% of vote.
2020: special election state senate, lost.
2020: regular election state senate, lost.
2022: state AG, lost, 37% of vote.
Theories vary on how candidates become infected with loser virus, the technical medical term for which is Lyons-Diehl Syndrome. Some clinicians theorize that losing is contagious & can be passed from one failure to another by close contact.
“Somewhere out there, way, way over the horizon, I see Jay McMahon winning an election… someday.”
Linda Vacon, age 68, Holyoke
On City Council, won last time by 17 votes, so her nickname among Kool-Aid Kultists is Landslide.
2012: state rep, lost, 20 percent of the vote. (Green Party candidate got 18.7%.)
“Look, this tree is deader than MA GOP under my dear leader Jim Jones Lyons.”
On Jan. 31 in Marlborough, geezer Vacon will be doling out Jim Jones Kool-Aid – and GOP death cultists will have a lot more choices than at the original Jonestown mass suicide in 1979.
Look at all the different ways Vacon will be offering up her witches’ brew.
After calamitous election in Nov., Vacon left a wreath at Tomb of the Unknown GOP Candidate, who lost because Jim Jones Lyons squandered all party $$$ on frivolous lawsuits & private eyes.
Sometimes Kool-Aid Kultists gather together for a meeting of Losers Anonymous.
From left to right, committee members Regina Taylor, Brian Genest, Steve “the Dogwalker” Fruzzetti, Lynne Roberts, Amanda Orlando & Dennis Galvin.
Marty Lamb, age 65, Holliston
2010, Congress, lost ,39.2%.
2012, state rep, lost, 38.6%.
“How much do I always lose by?... This much!”
When Marty runs, he’s always a lamb to the slaughter.
“Can I get me a ginger ale chaser with that Kool-Aid, Mr. Lyons, sir?”
Meet the Losers Club will continue Thursday, and in the meantime, bottoms up!
Eat, drink & be merry, for Jan. 31 all of Jim Jones Lyons’ geriatric cranks will take The Ride to Marlboro to endorse the final suicide of the @massgop.
Goodbye until Thursday – Best wishes, Jim Jones & DoorDash, Props., The Losers Club.
To be continued….
#Mapoli #dumpjimjones
Share this Scrolly Tale with your friends.
A Scrolly Tale is a new way to read Twitter threads with a more visually immersive experience.
Discover more beautiful Scrolly Tales like this.