Went to NYC to get castrated. Then was going to head off to Mexico and then maybe Thailand to get more surgery done; maybe even the "final step".
2 weeks before my castration I was on the beach with 2 post-op transgender "women". We were laughing & having a good ole time... til
til they got very serious, looked at me and said, in a sincerity & compassion I'd never heard from them b4, "Don't Do It!, All of my life I thought IF I could just become a woman then I would be happy and I'd find peace & purpose."
he went on to say, "Now I am legally & medically a woman but I am more miserable now than I've ever been. I think of taking my life on a daily basis. Please don't do it to yourself! I just want to die and not exist!" Then the other one looked at me and said...
the other said, "And I think of taking my life several times a day every day. Please don't put yourself in my place. I hate myself for what I've done to my body. You don't want to live like this, feel like this or be like this every single day of your life. Don't do it!"
I never went to my appointment for castration and I never furthered that thought any longer. That was a major turning point in my life. If not for them two I may have made some more bad choices.
Aside from the hormones for many years, some free-floating silicone -
injected into my face & body I never went further. The hormones wreaked havoc on my body for many years and the battle with #depression, #anxiety & #PTSD was taxing. This is not just #physical or #medical, it was #mentally #crippling too! Suicide attempts & all! I Am Free! AMen!
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