Thread by @ProverbialKiki

I almost joined the illuminati

A THREAD

A while back, I tweeted( Twet ??) that I wanted to join the illuminati to boost my rap career

https://twitter.com/ProverbialKiki/status/1039470341830135808

Well... The illuminati slid into my DM and made me an offer.

Since I desperately want my music career to prosper.. I hastily said Yes

So I started by asking the important questions

And the answer I got was less than satisfactory, so I needed to know if I was being pranked

Turns out.. I wasn't being pranked 😂 and also James (the illuminati dude) is not Russian..

Also I might have made him angry

But that didn't stop the initiation from proceeding.
He sent me a registration form😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

So some of the occupations on the from include Pope and FraudSTAR...

Seems legit

Also the term and conditions are already ticked ✔️

Also the referee section was already filled so I asked about that

And that's when I was introduced to the headmaster 😱😱😱😱

Anywho.. I filled out the application.. And the genius that I am put in my real phone number

And just after I sent my application, I realized that I hadn't asked the really important questions

I also needed some clarification about the mysterious headmaster that he mentioned earlier

He also asked for 3 pictures of me.. I ignored him and somehow that didn't come up again

Now I needed to know if the joining illuminati had worked for him

He sent me photos 😂😂😂😂 as proof of illuminati success

I was sold 😏

So apparently I was asking too many questions 😂😂😂😂

Also it was late.. I was sleepy so I called it a night.. James wasn't too happy about that

But for some reason.. He still wanted to proceed

😏😂😉

Anyway.. I got back home and continued the initiation

He asked me to draw a pentagram.. Teren Teren

And I had no idea what a pentagram was

So he drew one for me

So I drew it.. I thought we were done but...

Apparently I had to take/do an oath.. But my main concern was my footwear

So he sent me the oath

With details on how to send it to him....

Yes.. His email is illuminatijames23 😂😂😂😂😂

I got excited... Maybe too excited...
I recorded this audio and sent it to him
clyp.it/hihkf13s

I went all out with the audio to impress the illuminati.. And he was impressed

We were at the last stage of my initiation.. I needed to make some purchases... But unfortunately.. not skulls

I had to buy tylesman????

Not sure what that was so I Googled

Then he sent me these pics

They looked expensive.. But I wasn't going to to let money get in the way of more money and fame

So I found a loophole

Since the loophole didn't work.. I had to pay.. I asked if he had mpesa

So he didn't have mpesa.. He wanted me to pay through western union

Also the cost seemed to have gone down from 350 to 300

I was excited about the discount.. I sent a dancing baby gif

Turns out I wasn't getting a discount.. And James doesn't like GIFs

I apologized

I was ready to go to western union to.. I just needed the details

And James sent me his details 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

The Western Union details left me puzzled..

But there were more pressing questions.. Like what does the illuminati ID look like

Also I need to know how long I had to wait to become rich and famous

I could not believe it.. A house will be belt for me?? 😂😂😅🏡🏡

Anywho.. I was ready to go to the bank.. Illuminati here I come

But then he mentioned a temple and I was curious

Someone was getting impatient 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂

At this point.. I was done.. I had run out of things to tell him

So I decided to come clean

I might have angered the illuminati 😂😂😂😂

A few minutes later I got a whatsapp call..
Check out that display pic😂😂😂

He made a few threats I was too busy laughing to hear everything

He has now blocked me

I'm still trying to be a famous rapper.. So check out my youtube channel 😂😂😂

youtube.com/playlist?list=…

My soundcloud 😂😂😂
soundcloud.com/proverbialkiki…

This thread inspired this vlog
👇

Finally hit 666 subscribers

Illuminati here i come 🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾