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The author, Séamas O'Reilly Profile picture
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Jan 3, 2019 • 3 tweets • 1 min read
But if you were trying not to disturb someone then walking on eggshells nearby would be the last thing you'd do. The prep alone would be so distracting.
My wife: Marjorie is incredibly offended by what you said at dinner last night, so just give her some space this morning, ok?
Me, putting on crocs as I crumble 40 eggshells onto the lino: Absolutely
It would actually be so rude.

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The author, Séamas O'Reilly Profile picture
Apr 8, 2021
A lot of people are sharing this today - which is fair enough since it makes some relevant points - but it doesn't apply exactly to what's happening at the moment, and the reasons it doesn't are important.
The current horror show is certainly underlined by Brexit/Irish Sea Border stuff, but it’s inseprable from the same old cycle of neglect and exploitation Northern Ireland has suffered under from both London and Belfast governments for as long as I've been alive.
Ordinary Northern Irish people again being treated as disposable batteries; faceless, futureless cyphers who can be cajoled, connived, traded and radicalised in the interests of their political leaders.

There should be no equivocation here, this is the DUP’s mess.
Read 16 tweets
The author, Séamas O'Reilly Profile picture
Nov 2, 2020
Huge news at my dad's house, as a robin has moved in. He has, somewhat inevitably, been named Pablo, after the novelty robin ornament he bought some Christmases ago, which had telescopic legs and a kind face. This robin too, appears friendly and professional. More updates to come
Pablo has been a visitor to my dad's garden for some time, but began entering the home this weekend. He flies back out the window frequently, but always returns, and he is now a free-roaming member of the household, gallivanting from room to room on regular tours of inspection.
Pablo loves music, with a particular predilection for the Northern Irish Country Music™ for which my homeland must be thoroughly, and regularly shamed.

For this, my father now loves him more ardently than any of his eleven children.
Read 10 tweets
The author, Séamas O'Reilly Profile picture
Nov 1, 2020
In today's column I talk about my experience of Halloween growing up in Derry, and my son's rather limited go of it. But I *also* traffic in some thoroughly debunked Irish halloween myths, so I'd like to correct the record. theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2…
Although Samhain did denote the start of winter, conflating it with Halloween is a relatively modern invention, without much actual evidence. Also, Irish emigrants to America did celebrate Hallowe'en, but so did the English, Welsh, others.
The conjecture that the veil between worlds was more permeable on Samhain, hence beasties, costumes and trick or treating, also seems to have appeared in the early 20th century. A nice story, but bolloxology alas.
Read 5 tweets
The author, Séamas O'Reilly Profile picture
Oct 30, 2020
True story: I was master of ceremonies for my primary school's nativity, playing everyone's favourite Christmas character, Pablo The Mexican Reindeer.
Each class did a little five minute show, and I - a ten year old, sombrero-wearing, reindeer child - came out in between each act, to sing and crack jokes in a Mexican accent that should have landed me in the Hague.
No pictures or videos survive from the performance, which is *extremely unlucky* since my dad was a camcorder fanatic, and had in fact been recording the official record of my school's plays and concerts for years. I've found the tape a few times but it doesn't play.
Read 8 tweets
The author, Séamas O'Reilly Profile picture
Oct 20, 2020
Probably that time the Daily Mail did a bullet-point scare job on me because I tricked Selfridges into printing rude words on some Nutella jars.
For the record I got SIX rude words printed in the end. The five below and also Turrdz. I managed the last three after the events detailed by the Daily Mail, during which time I was so well known to Selfridges I had to evade VERY ACTIVE surveillance whenever I entered the store.
My Nutella shenanigans did mean that a corporate spokesperson had to issue this statement about me, which was such a life highlight that it has now been my banner picture for almost five years.
Read 7 tweets
The author, Séamas O'Reilly Profile picture
Apr 7, 2020
Want to hear a funny story about something that happened to me this weekend? It concerns the internet, elephants, and the absurdity of online nostalgia.
So, Naomi Wolf was getting pelters from me and others for having said that non-5G Belfast had the “calm” of the 1970s, (despite Belfast *having* 5G and the 70s not being the calmest of times for Belfast). It was really... something.
As a result, people in my mentions and throughout the wider web shared similarly “calm” photos from 70s Northern Ireland, rebranded with the stock phrases of those inane “Remember The Good Old Days?” memes. It was very funny.
Read 17 tweets

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