Thread by @FMStompdotcom

Thread on gender #conversiontherapy namely mine, who can see the square of skin to the bottom left of the scar? Read on but TRIGGER warning!
#torture #electroshocktherapy #aversiontherapy #transawareness
#TDOR #cruelty #triggerwarning

1. It was 1977 I was 9 years old and had been experiencing some gender problems at home and at school, I was sat in the headmasters office he had called my parents to come to school to ask why I had eye makeup on and refused to remove it.

2. When the headmaster said “are you a Boy or a girl?” And in front of my dad I said “I should have been a girl” so my dad being the local GP arranged for me to see a child psychologist and then a child psychiatrist, at each session I was honest and told the truth

3. After 4 sessions the psychiatrist wrote to my dad telling him the good news that the NHS could cure me from these thoughts of being a girl, dad was excited when he told me, I didn’t understand it at the time but dad said “look how advanced the medicine is in the west”

4. My dad being a GP didn’t know what the treatment was, but 2 weeks later a letter came and dad came upstairs to my room and told me the good news. I had to pack a case with 10 days of clothes and go to a private hospital for my treatment.

5. So the day came and my dad drove me to the hospital in Liverpool, checked me in and left me with the nurses. I remember one of the nurses saying “oh you must be thrilled to receive this treatment to make you normal”

6. Anyway was taken to a room, I unpacked and was given a gown to wear and told they would come get me at 6pm. Was taken up in a lift to the top floor and taken into a room with a bed.

7. I was told to lie down, the nurses proceeded to tie my arms and legs down to the metal bars in the bed, then they put a strap over my chest to hold my body down.

8. The doctor said to me not to worry as the first session would be 30 minutes. I had no clue what was about to happen, the nurse then put a gum guard in my mouth, they put dark glasses over my eyes, felt them sticking things onto my arms, legs, my hands and my feet.

9. Then the doctor said “the light will go off for few minutes then we will start”
So the light went off and I felt like I was going to sleep then the light came on and I felt a shock as my whole body started to feel like I was burning inside, my eyes felt like they were

10. bulging to explode, my head was burning with pain, my arms felt like they Were on fire. I tried to bite in the gum guard but my mouth wouldn’t move and for the next 30 minutes the shock lasted for 5 minutes then it stopped for 5 minutes,

11. I tried to bite in the gum guard but my mouth wouldn’t move and for the next 30 minutes the shock lasted for 5 minutes then it stopped for 5 minutes,

12. every time the shock came I heard a voice “you are a boy you are not a girl do you understand," for 5 minutes. I don’t remember leaving that room but I woke up in the bed some time later, my arms were tied down to stop me from escaping. That was day 1.

13. The doctor came in the room to see full of happiness and told me “the treatment is working, but you must be strong, we are going to burn the madness from you and make you normal”

14. On day 3, I was very very scared when the nurses came to my room at 10am, I kept asking them “what have I done wrong? Why do I need more of this?” A nurse said to me “be strong, madness has taken control of your mind and body and it has made you do things that are not normal

15, be happy be very happy as we will cure you” Was put on a stretcher and taken to the room, I couldn’t walk as my legs felt like jelly, my arms were hurting and my head was pounding whilst feeling sick , the doctor gave me a tablet and told me to relax.

16. I woke up in that room again, I started crying and asking for my mummy, they put a cloth in my mouth then the lights went off. It all started again when the lights came on.

17. By the time day 7 came, I was scared and terrified and said to the doctor “I don’t want to be a girl anymore please can you stop” he said “we must finish the course of treatment” which made me very scared and I started to cry, the doctor gave me a tablet saying “you will be

18. fine” I woke up some time later in that room upstairs tied to the bed, those sticky things on me connected to wires and they had put a cloth in my mouth so I could not scream. Lights went off then came on and I started to burn, don’t remember anything after that.

19. Woke up in a different hospital with marks on my chest and my chest was very painful. My dad said that the treatment had failed to make me normal and I had died. My heart had stopped for 91 seconds before they managed to bring me back.

20. I didn’t understand, my mum was also there screaming at my dad about how could he let them do that to me his first born. My mum kept asking for my forgiveness and my dad kept saying sorry.

21. Yes years later I learned that I had a course of electro shock therapy, in those days it was called conversion therapy, the square of skin you can just about make out is where one of the electrodes was stuck to me. I have 13 more squares on me

22. Back in the 1970s there was no such thing as a transsexual child, no hormone therapy for children and the only treatment was that conversion therapy. I was told to consider myself lucky as 10 years earlier they would have drilled holes in my head

23. Next time someone says to you that hormone therapy harms children, point them at my post and ask them that “I hope you are not advocating a return to #conversiontherapy” as this was my reality.

24. I had nightmares for nearly 10 years after, couldn’t look at the squares of skin on my body and had to get professional help including hypnosis to release the pain and nightmares - was told I have #PTSD writing this has brought all that pain back.

25. I went full time at the age of 18 and it was 27 years before I could complete my transition as everytime SRS was offered to me by the NHS I immediately felt ill and sick and wanted to vomit - I was told that was the result of the #conversiontherapy.

26. I had attended Park Lane Hospital in Liverpool in 1977 for this, I have never been back and never ever wanted to go near the place again as i get scared when I think of the place with its big metal gates at the front.

27. For reference this thread can be found here rapidonslaught.com/rotp/trans-fac…

28. In case you think this is all make believe please read buzzfeed.com/patrickstrudwi…

29. This account is not monitored and I have stopped coming on twitter due to the level of hate and abuse I have received. Feel free to leave a comment - I might look in from time to time.

30. @Mermaids_Gender @DrAdrianHarrop @s_bollock @techmanmartin @theFoxFisher @IndiaWilloughby @sarah_lmm @LizzyRo14573237 @TransMinistry @DadTrans @stephenwhittle @MavenOfMayhem @parislees @guardiannews @thetimes @MetroUK @Telegraph

@Mermaids_Gender @DrAdrianHarrop @s_bollock @techmanmartin @theFoxFisher @IndiaWilloughby @sarah_lmm @LizzyRo14573237 @TransMinistry @DadTrans @stephenwhittle @MavenOfMayhem @parislees @guardiannews @thetimes @MetroUK @Telegraph Conversion therapy