Thread by @DellAnnaLuca

100 TRUTHS YOU WILL LEARN TOO LATE
(a thread)

I will expand on them in this book 📚 which can be preordered here (you decide how much to pay): gum.co/100truths

If you've been following me, you know it's not the usual boilerplate.

Thread below: 👇

1/ The hardest lesson I've had to learn is that every "game" - love, business, etc - has its implicit rules.

I can either play by them or choose a different game to play.

Failures are life's way to tell me I'm not respecting its rules.

1B/ This does not mean that each game has to be played by its *explicit* rules. Often, these are man-made and do not represent the real rules of the game.

Game rules are often an expression of timeless principles to be uncovered by the players, through trial & error.

2/ What got you here won’t get you there

As we progress through stages in life, rules change.
What was good for us in one stage, might not be as good in the next.

Doing more of what worked is seldom the answer.

As you progress, unlearn what worked and learn what will.

3/ Proactivity begets growth, not the other way around.

Childhood: after you grow, you are given more responsibilities.
Adulthood: after you take responsibilities, you grow (promotion, get partner, etc.)

Many miss the latter, because in school we're only taught the former.

4/ People on their deathbed regret that they neglected the very important to attend to the urgent.

The very important never feels urgent.

On our deathbed the very important finally has a deadline.

Do not wait for that. Make the very important urgent.

5/ Problems grow the size they need in order to be acknowledged.

There are many reasons for which problems appear. However, there is a single one for which they grow: if they are ignored.

6/ Working hard without checking assumptions is a form of laziness

Perhaps, what you are doing is not the most effective way to reach your result. Perhaps you're only doing because the alternatives were scary.

Or perhaps not. But it's always worth to check your assumptions.

7/ The most important question:

“If you keep doing what you’re currently doing, how will your life be in 10 years?”

8/ Metapractice: after each practice session, do not only ask yourself what you learnt about your craft, but also what you learnt about the art of practicing the craft itself.

How should you modify your practice and your environment so that you're more consistent and learn more?

9/ Everything you keep doing even though you know is bad is an ADDICTION.

The problem with addictions (even though not proper clinical addictions) is that they take away time, energy & money that could be used towards bringing you closer to the life you desire.

9B/ This includes: too much TV & videogames, eating too much sugar, going to sleep too late, going out with toxic friends, entering relationships with toxic partners, reactively checking your email or your phone more than once per hour, working a job that destroys you, etc.

10/ Your expectations of other people are your problems, not your rights.

11/ The way to avoid motivational setbacks is to direct all "failures" to specific mental patterns of yourself, rather than to yourself as a whole ego.

Moreover, that's a great way to ensure you learn something rather than to reject evidence.

12/ Quality & quantity of feedback determine life trajectory.

Willpower should be spent almost exclusively to improve them.

13/ Feedback is necessary for growth.

Narcissism (caring more about yourself - or about what your work tells about yourself - than about the work itself) is what prevents you from getting the feedback which will make you grow in the right direction.

14/ Do at least one thing per day that increases your self-respect.

This will:
- give you something to be happy for even if your day was terrible
- keep you on your path of self-improvement
- actually be helpful
- things which are good for your self-respect usually compound

15/ Happiness is not a place we can reach and rest in. Happiness is a direction we can walk along.

We shouldn’t wish for a permanent state of happiness which would relieve us from action. We should wish for the opportunity of permanently take actions which make us happy.