Once Upon a Time,
I was Somebody.
I was a grassroots organizer and an aspiring writer.
But...
A relentless eating disorder, severe depression, a sexual assault, a broken heart...these things drove my passion from me entirely.
I was Somebody.
I was a grassroots organizer and an aspiring writer.
But...
A relentless eating disorder, severe depression, a sexual assault, a broken heart...these things drove my passion from me entirely.
No segue here. I have a lot to get to and at the end of the day, who really cares how I became some anonymous loser with a cartoon avi?
As the years passed I kept writing...but my sorrow remained an ever present stain over my world perspective.
As the years passed I kept writing...but my sorrow remained an ever present stain over my world perspective.
I became a Frankensteinian juxtiposition... irritatingly cynical, willfully nialistic, indomitably curious, paradoxically religious and deeply apathetic.
And I fled as thousands of lonely people do, to The Internet. But I rarely talked to people there.
And I fled as thousands of lonely people do, to The Internet. But I rarely talked to people there.
I've never even had a Reddit account. But I lived to lurk. I loved to read the thoughts and conversations of others, unfettered by meat space social mores.
On YouTube I usually find myself pausing the videos to scroll voyeristically through the comments...
On YouTube I usually find myself pausing the videos to scroll voyeristically through the comments...
I've liked literally thousands of them, never once adding anything to the conversation.
As I said before...I WAS an aspiring writer. Sometimes I catch myself imagining I could get my act together enough to return to the only thing that I can still say with any confidence
As I said before...I WAS an aspiring writer. Sometimes I catch myself imagining I could get my act together enough to return to the only thing that I can still say with any confidence
I was ever any good at.
The cruelest illusion is a dream with no expiration date.
It was for research purposes that I have lurked 4chan off and on for over a decade.
Character studies and morbid fascination have compelled me to return time and time again to the putrid
The cruelest illusion is a dream with no expiration date.
It was for research purposes that I have lurked 4chan off and on for over a decade.
Character studies and morbid fascination have compelled me to return time and time again to the putrid
threads of Voat and the bizarrely callous gallows of Encyclopedia Dramatica.
And because I hate people just as much as I want to love them...on my worst days I told myself:
Here is our true nature.
Behold and look upon us as we truly are.
There were also so many people
And because I hate people just as much as I want to love them...on my worst days I told myself:
Here is our true nature.
Behold and look upon us as we truly are.
There were also so many people
online just like me. Only braver, smarter and more interesting.
There were also people who collectively wept over Mass Effect 3 (ok me) talked about Starwars as though it were a religion and wrote TWD fanfiction with trigger warnings for non con and
m-preg🤢
There were also people who collectively wept over Mass Effect 3 (ok me) talked about Starwars as though it were a religion and wrote TWD fanfiction with trigger warnings for non con and
m-preg🤢
They talked about they're insecurities, their longing, their emptiness. They made and shared countless glorious Memes. I laughed with them when Shia LaBeouf lost capture the flag to weaponized autism. I cried with them over the senseless death of Richard Russell. 
And I loved them. Even though they never knew I existed.
Love is acid when it's thrown back in your face,
A dagger when it's unrequited,
But a love undeclared can carry you forward almost indefinitely on the wings of it's empty promise.
Love is acid when it's thrown back in your face,
A dagger when it's unrequited,
But a love undeclared can carry you forward almost indefinitely on the wings of it's empty promise.
But all around them swirling in the chat, the comment section, the next recommended video...
For years I have seen THEM there too.
Men venerating Elliot Roger and perpetuating lies that certain socially awkward, depressed and neurodivergent
For years I have seen THEM there too.
Men venerating Elliot Roger and perpetuating lies that certain socially awkward, depressed and neurodivergent
men are vulnerable to.
"Women are hypergamous whores."
"Without money, looks and status you are less than dog shit to these bitches."
"Get Black Pilled faggit"
"Alpha, Beta" Bullshit
"Chads and Stacies" blah blah blah
Here a cuck, there a cuck, everywhere a cuck cuck
"Women are hypergamous whores."
"Without money, looks and status you are less than dog shit to these bitches."
"Get Black Pilled faggit"
"Alpha, Beta" Bullshit
"Chads and Stacies" blah blah blah
Here a cuck, there a cuck, everywhere a cuck cuck
I'd read Roger's manifesto and watched his last Youtube video. His final unsettling, affected performance of narcissistic grandiosity... and I wanted to scream bullshit and reach out to the young men that I saw falling for this garbage.
I know what it is to be deeply
I know what it is to be deeply
and bitterly lonely. But depression has taught me that it is very easy to except our own version of reality for irrefutable truth. That's why
inceldom has such a presence online.
But in commiserating they fed into each other's frustration and rage and manufactured this
inceldom has such a presence online.
But in commiserating they fed into each other's frustration and rage and manufactured this
mass delusion of female obligation and male persecution.
They also convinced themselves that inceldom is so much more wide spread than it is. Which increased their sense of fraternity while simultaneously reinforcing their isolation.
But I was a woman. They mistrust women.
They also convinced themselves that inceldom is so much more wide spread than it is. Which increased their sense of fraternity while simultaneously reinforcing their isolation.
But I was a woman. They mistrust women.
Even a lot of the non murderous ones hate us.
I didn't feel it was my place. They were on a pseudo intellectual binge of Memes, Game and eventually MGTOW.
Besides what could I possibly say to them?
These guys laughed when Heather Heyer died.
Who does that?
...
I didn't feel it was my place. They were on a pseudo intellectual binge of Memes, Game and eventually MGTOW.
Besides what could I possibly say to them?
These guys laughed when Heather Heyer died.
Who does that?
...
Fuck a segue like I said.
April 23rd, 2018, Alek Minassian a 25 year old with Aspergers, killed 10 in Toranto, Ontario after proclaiming that "The incel rebellion has already begun!" and hailing "The Supreme Gentleman Elliott Rodger" in his final Facebook post.
April 23rd, 2018, Alek Minassian a 25 year old with Aspergers, killed 10 in Toranto, Ontario after proclaiming that "The incel rebellion has already begun!" and hailing "The Supreme Gentleman Elliott Rodger" in his final Facebook post.
Military vet Scott Paul Beierle, shot six woman, killing 2 and then himself in a Tallahassee yoga studio on November 2nd of that same year. Along with harboring sypathetic views toward Rodger, he had found Gab and /pol/and wandered down YouTube's Alt-right click hole.
I have lived all over the U.S among people of all social classes and backgrounds. One thing I've observed is that heterosexual men who embrace a "traditional" roll in Western society are generally chivalrous toward women.
This chivalry is a social barometer of sorts for how well they treat their fellow man.
Chivalry...the very word evokes a romantic image. A woman with her features demurely obscured by her long flowing hair...
But it is really a code of honor.
Chivalry...the very word evokes a romantic image. A woman with her features demurely obscured by her long flowing hair...
But it is really a code of honor.
Question: What happens when an enraged group of red pilled men unwittingly disassembles one of their most honored traditions?
THEY had gotten louder and bolder.
Because men like that, without emotional empathy for women are already half blind to their own humanity. And so for
THEY had gotten louder and bolder.
Because men like that, without emotional empathy for women are already half blind to their own humanity. And so for
some of these men, White Power rhetoric was therefore easier to imbibe.
"The (((Jews))) control all media"
"We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children."
I have glimpsed pdfs of The Great Replacement Theory in the most innocuous places.
"The (((Jews))) control all media"
"We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children."
I have glimpsed pdfs of The Great Replacement Theory in the most innocuous places.
And then on Friday, March 15th 2019...
"Remember lads, subscribe to Pewdiepie"
😞
I was beside myself.
That demonic shitlord had been in my house the whole time.
In OUR house.
Posting the same shit as everybody else. And in the chans he was totally indistinguishable
"Remember lads, subscribe to Pewdiepie"
😞
I was beside myself.
That demonic shitlord had been in my house the whole time.
In OUR house.
Posting the same shit as everybody else. And in the chans he was totally indistinguishable
from anyone else.
My mind's eye wandered numbly back to 2011... the image of Anton Breivik's sly courtroom smirk.
This was no incel.
I wanted answers.
I needed to know what happened.
So...I went back to /pol/
My mind's eye wandered numbly back to 2011... the image of Anton Breivik's sly courtroom smirk.
This was no incel.
I wanted answers.
I needed to know what happened.
So...I went back to /pol/
************************************
Thank you so much for reading if you've made it this far.
There is so much more I need to say.
But I've been at this for hours. I'm emotionally exhaused and I have to walk away from it for today.
I'll continue Part 2 when I'm able.
🐇
Thank you so much for reading if you've made it this far.
There is so much more I need to say.
But I've been at this for hours. I'm emotionally exhaused and I have to walk away from it for today.
I'll continue Part 2 when I'm able.
🐇
PART 2
*So I went back to /pol/
And they were LAUGHING.
Not 24 hours had passed and they were posting fucking Memes of the massacre.
Someone posted a Felix Kjellberg reaction video super imposed over the FB feed at Christchurch like it was a let's play of Call of Duty.
*So I went back to /pol/
And they were LAUGHING.
Not 24 hours had passed and they were posting fucking Memes of the massacre.
Someone posted a Felix Kjellberg reaction video super imposed over the FB feed at Christchurch like it was a let's play of Call of Duty.
Two people spoke up, just as mortified as I was. The one's who weren't brashly dismissing it as a False Flag operation😡
I hope that they read this one day. I am sure they still shutter when they think about it too.
After that I did my self imposed penance...
I hope that they read this one day. I am sure they still shutter when they think about it too.
After that I did my self imposed penance...
I read his manifesto and then located and watched the entire video.
I did it because I knew what was coming.
More Memes fren.
This deliberate weapenization of Memes holds so much more significance than has yet been widely recognized.
They are not memes anymore.
I did it because I knew what was coming.
More Memes fren.
This deliberate weapenization of Memes holds so much more significance than has yet been widely recognized.
They are not memes anymore.
They are propaganda.
And propaganda is a supremely effective recruitment tool.
For those who are interested, anti fascist journalist and lecturer (((Alexander Reed Ross))) did an excellent service by reading the manifesto in your stead.
And propaganda is a supremely effective recruitment tool.
For those who are interested, anti fascist journalist and lecturer (((Alexander Reed Ross))) did an excellent service by reading the manifesto in your stead.
https://twitter.com/areidross/status/1106442245320826880?s=19
I'm not going to use the NZ
terrorists's name out of respect for the general consensus that one shouldn't, although I do not agree with the principle.
I truly do believe that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it, but what
I have to say next doesn't require his name.
He does not care to be remembered as he once was.
He believes he is a martyr in his own crusade.
His goal was to create social & political chaos to inspire further racial polarization and future acts of terror.
He does not care to be remembered as he once was.
He believes he is a martyr in his own crusade.
His goal was to create social & political chaos to inspire further racial polarization and future acts of terror.
All the while meming like he thought he was a goddamn mad lad.
He trolled the media by shit posting in his own manifesto.
"Spyro the Dragon 3 taught me ethno-nationalism. Fortnight trained me to be a killer and to floss on the corpses of my enemies"
His last 4 chan post.
He trolled the media by shit posting in his own manifesto.
"Spyro the Dragon 3 taught me ethno-nationalism. Fortnight trained me to be a killer and to floss on the corpses of my enemies"
His last 4 chan post.
Now hear this: Last Friday the President of the United States turned 911, the most collectively traumatic event in U.S modern history into a Meme and it got passed around like a hot potato.
Instantaneously it transported everyone who viewed it back to exactly where they
Instantaneously it transported everyone who viewed it back to exactly where they
were when the Twin Towers fell; reawakening feelings of rage, guilt, helplessness, despair, patriotism, grief and so many complex others.
Many began to fear for Rep. Ilhan Omar's life.
Memes and sharable images have power.
That video and many Memes like it are propaganda.
Many began to fear for Rep. Ilhan Omar's life.
Memes and sharable images have power.
That video and many Memes like it are propaganda.
Propaganda is ultimately targeted to a specific demographic of people.
(Some of them pull shit like Holden Matthews, the Louisiana Church Arsonist.)
But lemme switch gears for a second...
According to the Southern Poverty Law Center 954 White Supremacist hate crimes were
(Some of them pull shit like Holden Matthews, the Louisiana Church Arsonist.)
But lemme switch gears for a second...
According to the Southern Poverty Law Center 954 White Supremacist hate crimes were
reported in the U.S in 2017.
That's the same year of the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, VA.
Six months after that rally the name Nicholas Cruz would make national headlines.
These are the facts. Cruz is autistic, depressed and has ADHD.
That's the same year of the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, VA.
Six months after that rally the name Nicholas Cruz would make national headlines.
These are the facts. Cruz is autistic, depressed and has ADHD.
On Valentine's Day 2018, Cruz entered Marjory Stoneman Douglas Highschool in Parkland Florida, and arbitrarily murdered 17 students and staff members, injuring 17 others.
After the shooting, police found gun
After the shooting, police found gun
magazines with swastikas etched into them.
He was on a private Alt-Right Instagram chat where he apparently posted about hating blacks, jews and mexicans and also referred to women who dated outside their race as "race traitors".
8 months later, another man radicalized online,
He was on a private Alt-Right Instagram chat where he apparently posted about hating blacks, jews and mexicans and also referred to women who dated outside their race as "race traitors".
8 months later, another man radicalized online,
Robert Gregory Bowers; infamously slaughtered 11 jews at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, PA on Oct 27th of that same year...
There is a calculated, attractively marketed and extremely internet savy Alt-Right recruitment machine online.
👀
journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/15…
There is a calculated, attractively marketed and extremely internet savy Alt-Right recruitment machine online.
👀
journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/15…
Last week James Woods tweeted a NZ terrorist honkler Meme to his 2.5 million following and probably (??) didn't even know what the hell he was doing...that's how propaganda works.
Noone in their right mind with a ❤ wants to see any more people die for no reason other than what some bridge troll cooked up in his pointy little hatted head.
And then seasoned with fucking Memes.
Online radicalization is a crucial issue that requires a bipartisan parley.
And then seasoned with fucking Memes.
Online radicalization is a crucial issue that requires a bipartisan parley.
There is a vast ideological divide which paints the picture that in terms of politics, priorities and identity; we are fractured beyond repair.
Sometimes it feels like all we have in common are odd bouts of terrifying existential despair and chronic eye roll fatigue from
Sometimes it feels like all we have in common are odd bouts of terrifying existential despair and chronic eye roll fatigue from
wishing antivaxers would just fall off the flat earth already.
But diplomacy, humility and compromise are great virtues when forging a shared path towards a common aim.
People have to work together to make change. We shouldn't allow ourselves to exist in an echo chamber.
But diplomacy, humility and compromise are great virtues when forging a shared path towards a common aim.
People have to work together to make change. We shouldn't allow ourselves to exist in an echo chamber.
It feels good in there but it's not an accurate representation of the real world.
Further CIVIL discourse across political, religious and philosophical aisles is crucial.
On this issue armistice is essential.
Everybody uses The Internet.
THIS IS OUR INTERNET💚🌍💻💚
Further CIVIL discourse across political, religious and philosophical aisles is crucial.
On this issue armistice is essential.
Everybody uses The Internet.
THIS IS OUR INTERNET💚🌍💻💚
So in summary:
Don't put up with this shit.
Don't be complicit in the face of Hate.
Don't perpetuate the incel myth.
Be sensitive to the unique vulnerabilities of at risk members of the mentally ill and neurodiverse communities.
Don't put up with this shit.
Don't be complicit in the face of Hate.
Don't perpetuate the incel myth.
Be sensitive to the unique vulnerabilities of at risk members of the mentally ill and neurodiverse communities.
There needs to be a conscious, proactive, intellectual and academic investment into addressing radicalization online or this will keep happening💯
It is breaking my heart to see rapid fire, articulate, hate mongers infecting people like a virus through they're own screens.
It is breaking my heart to see rapid fire, articulate, hate mongers infecting people like a virus through they're own screens.
It's a simile guys. Sue me.
I know I sound heavy handed but sometimes this legit feels like the zombie apocalypse.
I'm done.
I've been a mess since March 15th.
I just had to process this and get it off my chest and throw it all out into the ether where maybe some people
I know I sound heavy handed but sometimes this legit feels like the zombie apocalypse.
I'm done.
I've been a mess since March 15th.
I just had to process this and get it off my chest and throw it all out into the ether where maybe some people
who are smarter than me & don't have to work 50 hours a week at dead end jobs can actually do something about it.
If you made it all the way through this then bully for you.
This is a massive tweet & ain't nobody got time for that.
If it finds it's way it finds it's way.
If you made it all the way through this then bully for you.
This is a massive tweet & ain't nobody got time for that.
If it finds it's way it finds it's way.
Now that I've purged my metaphorical guts can I finally to back to writing bad poetry and leave the bullshit to the professionals?
Only time will tell...
Only time will tell...
************************************
And that's the story morning glory.
Thank you so much if you're here with me right now at the very end.
It has been an enormous weight off my shoulders just finally writing this all down.
I hope it matters.
~Nobody
🐇
And that's the story morning glory.
Thank you so much if you're here with me right now at the very end.
It has been an enormous weight off my shoulders just finally writing this all down.
I hope it matters.
~Nobody
🐇
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