I don’t have many friends. The few I do have are long distance friendships or I see them only once or twice a year. I struggle to maintain friendships because others often expect more out of me than I have to give. But I’m happy. Anyone relate?#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics
Growing up I would have “one friend at a time” because I could keep track of one friend (often fawning over them inappropriately). It was never good to “put all my eggs in one basket” because if my friend moved I would suddenly find myself alone & in need of a new friend.
Making new friends is always difficult, because I struggle to read new people. I can “memorize” the mannerisms and preferences of a person to learn to work around them but a new person is an unpleasantly fresh slate. #ActuallyAutistic
Then there is the bigger problem. . . Determining if the new person actually has good intentions or not. This is where I really struggle. I don’t trust my own instincts with people and so I keep them away, for fears of their unknown intentions. #ActuallyAutistic
Society says my love of solitude is pathological. I’m “in my own world” and “isolated” but I’m happy on my own. I delight in and look forward to solitude. I am rarely lonely with my hobbies and interests to keep me company. #ActuallyAutistic
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