Thread by @tinymediaempire

my post-art plan is opening a grilled cheese cart. it will serve $1 grilled cheese made with white bread, bulk cheese, bulk butter, and thats it. greasy as hell. no options, no artisan, nothing. there will be no change. you give me $5 youre getting 5, you figure your own life out

the business and cart will be called "$1 GRILLED CHEESE", with not a lick of irony or cleverness. it will be in IMPACT font, black on cheese yellow. i will decimate every other food truck or food cart out there.

its 1am, youre stumbling out of the bar or show. what do you want? do you want to wait outside some asinine truck for a $12 deconstructed grilled cheese with avacado relish that takes 20 goddamned minutes? or do you want 5 no bullshit grilled cheeses stacked in wax paper for $5?

its like a 10% cost of product when you aim low as i will aim quality wise and a built in upsell because, once again, i do not give change. money goes into a slot and thats that. figure your shit out.

also my cart will have a boombox cranking doo-wop classics.

don't you dare fucking ask me for a tomato slice.

"but are they going to be good?"

theyre going to be exactly like the zillion grilled cheeses your somewhat absentee parents made for you as a kid so yeah, youre probably gonna have a lot of feelings about them good and bad. i will use alot of butter, ill say that much.

you get a free grilled cheese if you give us a one star yelp review that says theres no tomato slices and we refuse to give change so you ended up with 20 grilled cheeses because you had just hit up the ATM.

"but what if you offered..."

no.

I think the company slogan will be "get your wallets out but don't get your hopes up"

ok, finished the trailer design.

id like to introduce our mascot, hes an over educated twenty something struggling to pay off his student loans and will never be able to afford a house so hell be stuck in the rental cycle until his second wife, who has a good job, who currently wears a sandwich costume for money

on an unrelated side note, did you all know you can just slather mayo in place of butter with grilled cheese and its pretty good because its just sort of a flavored oil? you know, if the darkness inside takes you to that place.

im headed home. i dont have a soundcloud so heres a bandcamp link.
danieldanger.bandcamp.com

Worst part about this is someone named Chad is gonna steal this idea and theyll make a lame logo with like an axe crisscrossing a spatula and then theyll start a kickstarter for a $80000 truck and the moment someone is like "you should add this hemp mustard" they will cave...

Chad is a coward

Lotta people telling me they're going to steal this business idea and all I can say to that is if you need to "steal" the idea of selling $1 grease sandwiches you probably shouldn't be your own business partner.

Promo code ONEDOLLARGRILLEDCHEESE gets you 10% off my store danieldanger.storenvy.com today. Please use the money saved to buy ice cream later.

Giving people any choices slows everything down; the line, wait time, prep time, getting people the correct order, everything. I want the currency in your wallet to be the only variant once you're in line. My model is "One thing, done just ok, but dirt cheap so you dont care."

You ever watch your average person order an ice cream cone? Bare minimum of 38 "um's"

1,000 RTs!!! let's keep going! Lets get to maybe a reasonable 1400????

Crushing it.

"like your mom made them, not your step mom."

ok, a few thoughts...
1. according to the comments i will have my $1 grilled cheese truck, and next to my truck will be roughly 400 $1 tomato soup trucks trying to leech off me. the whole place is gonna smell goddamned terrible, the air literally humid with tomato, so please dont

2. apparently y'all want drinks. once again, i will provide a garden hose for cleaning, drinking, and spraying troublemakers.... having drinks means bags of ice and a huge cooler taking up too much space and heavy lifting at costco and i fell off a cliff once so nuts to all that.

2A. gonna take a brief moment to shout out my own personal mixed drink, "The Brand Loyalty", which is when you pour whats left of a lukewarm pepsi from the terminal into the free coke on ice from the in-flight crew, then stare into nothingness for 2-6 hours.

3. to all those who have asked about franchising, all potential franchisees will require an internship first. its a decent amount of yardwork. its mostly yardwork. its yardwork.

4. Stephen King backed my idea. he wrote MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, which is pretty much the spiritual point of origin for this idea so ive made necessary changes to the truck in his honor. anyways, official sandwich of @StephenKing. hoping he'll appear in my commercial.

5. @FoodNetwork hit me up

(me and billy joe bob briggs watched MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE about a thousand times together)

id like to introduce my flattop spatula and butter machete, it offers a level of protection and multi-use functionality to the grilled cheese truck while making me look like a halfway decent badass.

also, jesus, i get it. people in the parking lots of phish shows eat grilled cheese sandwiches. so do toddlers. enough.

throwing it out there to whatever dipshit bought the domain "onedollargrilledcheese.com" that the guy posting about a $1 grilled cheese cart *PROBABLY* isn't going to pay your domain name ransom. you didn't exactly head off the next mcdonalds here.

ill fucking .net that shit, chad.

congrats on throwing $9.99 directly into the trash because i assure you i do not give a shit.

i just registered onedollargrilledchee.se because .se is a legit domain extension.