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PARENTS OF THE YEAR 2019 award goes to the fucking jackasses who brought a year old inconsolable infant into a 7pm movie screening and then loudly argued for 2 hours over who should leave, and who should stay with the equally awful other kids, and then deciding to do nothing.
im sure MARY POPPINS RETURNS is a perfectly fine film, but it paled to a grown man in a celtics jersey screaming at his wife and baby to shutup because hes so invested in MARY POPPINS RETURNS that he REFUSES to deal with his own infant, WHICH IS IN A MOVIE THEATER FOR SOME REASON
i really liked the part in the third act of MARY POPPINS RETURNS where a child was crawling on the floor of an obviously disgusting theater around my feet while the mother slowly trailed behind her having a full volume conversation with shitbag husband literally across the room.
i also think it was a really bold creative choice by the makers of MARY POPPINS RETURNS to have a twist where a loud preteen drops what appeared to be a pocket full of metal balls that rolled around the floor and then used a full sized tablet as a flashlight to find them mid film
my only complaint about MARY POPPINS RETURNS was that the multiple cannon blasts within the film greatly upset the year old infant who would then scream at the top of her lungs and nobody in her family felt this was problematic. also every musical number upset her. also time.
Emily Blunt is a national treasure, @Cinemark chose to let this happen.
honestly i have no idea if that movie was good or not. escapism went out the goddamned window immediately so the movie spelling out this "LIFE IS MAAAAAGIC" tone felt borderline sarcastic when some asshole in mesh shorts is telling a baby to shut up 10 feet from me.
this thread brought to you by the collective anger of my wife and i because we have a newborn and are LUCKY if we can get one date night a month because we are not stupid enough to bring said newborn into a loud dark room full of cannon blasts and @Lin_Manuel being a pyro.
First one of you motherfuckers who drops the "that's why I like the alamo" line better follow it up by paypal'ing me $35 to cover the babysitter.
It was a group of I think 4 pissed off adults, 5 disinterested preteens, and the infamous "7pm is my childs bedtime" literal infant. So tix and snacks they're into it for $200 minimum and they were collectively miserable/bored/fighting/in&out for most of the film. ....why?
Also they did that thing where for the last 20 minutes they all stood up in the aisles futzing with their coats & keys and phones but continued to watch as if they wanted to beat the imaginary crowds getting out of a mostly empty room. I honestly dont know how the movie ended.
