Thread by @CartoonHeroGuy

Literally the first thing we see is fire shooting out of a bunch of women's nipples.

Look, I know the premise of this show, but what the fuck. #SeikonNoQwaser

So then a girl gets her clothes cut off...before being brutally murdered, or at least stabbed.

Is this supposed to be sexy? Yeah, maybe if you're a serial killer. #SeikonNoQwaser

This opening is...actually kind of okay. Though I don't know what, but something's off about the way the guitar in it sounds. It's so distorted it almost sounds like a keyboard. #SeikonNoQwaser

So we have the sleepy busty girl, the athletic smaller girl, and the quiet girl. Yeah, keep throwing in these character types, we're sure to find SOMEONE'S fetish. #SeikonNoQwaser

Also, regular pantyshots aren't gratuitous enough, we need the pantyshot to be in slow-motion! #SeikonNoQwaser

You know, if this were an actual gay relationship, it would be kind of sweet. But this is an ecchi anime, so I know it's only there to titillate. #SeikonNoQwaser

So sleepy girl is being bullied by...someone putting a bucket of dead flowers on her desk. ...how horrible? No, seriously, what's so bad about that? It feels like someone tried to give her a gift, but the flowers just died. #SeikonNoQwaser

Also the two girls were raised as sisters or cousins, which...kinda just makes it creepy. #SeikonNoQwaser

"It'd be a shame if you had to leave because you were fighting on school grounds!"
"Miyuri!"
"I'm only telling you because I'm worried!"

...was that second part her acting innocent, or is she just bipolar? #SeikonNoQwaser

It's funny how quick this anime is to bring up Christianity. Especially because in the first few scenes, girls were having energy drawn out of their boobs through nipple vibrators.

I'm just saying, doesn't seem very Christian to me. #SeikonNoQwaser

Also, pretty sure nun's robes aren't meant to conform to your butt that tightly. #SeikonNoQwaser

...I'm DEFINITELY sure that Jesus didn't have silver hair and green eyes.

He has blonde hair and lavender eyes, DUH. #SeikonNoQwaser

"This one is called "I Wanna Suck Your Titties." #SeikonNoQwaser

"Now, all of Paris is BURNING because of you!" #SeikonNoQwaser

So, in case you don't know, the premise of this show is that the main character gets energy from drinking breast milk, which the show calls 'soma.'

Which is kinda funny in hindsight considering Food Wars is now a thing. #SeikonNoQwaser

Villain: *sticks a wooden sword up through athletic girl's cleavage*

YA GET IT?! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A DICK!!! #SeikonNoQwaser

...fuck you, show. You spent all this time building up that athletic girl needed to become strong to protect her adopted sister, and yet, she isn't the one who saves herself, because she's not the main character. #SeikonNoQwaser

...you can't make a dramatic scene out of "The main character needs to suck on your titties or we're all dead!" No matter how much dramatic choir music you add to it. #SeikonNoQwaser

So the scar across his eye glows when he uses his power? What is this, D. Gray-Man? #SeikonNoQwaser

Wait, no, they're not saying Sasha is Jesus...he just drank Mary's breast milk. BECAUSE THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH BETTER- #SeikonNoQwaser

...why is she humping the bed? Are they trying to show that her breasts hurt because he drank her milk? Cause that's a really clumsy way of showing it. Hell, even by ecchi standards, HSotD did that better. #SeikonNoQwaser

Well, no wonder he was trying to suckle earlier--sleepy girl doesn't wear a bra. Despite having massive boobs.

I know they gotta make em jiggle, but even as someone who doesn't have boobs, I'm like "Doesn't that hurt?" #SeikonNoQwaser

Let alone the fact that in some shots, her uniform is so tight you can see the outline of her nipples through her shirt. Like...that would chafe terribly, I'd imagine. #SeikonNoQwaser

"Sasha-san. That IS what someone who is close friends with a person named Aleksandar would call them, right?"

...no? Like, in what way is "Sasha" short for "Aleksandar?" #SeikonNoQwaser

Like...I know in English we say "Dick" for "Richard," and that's pretty nonsensical, but at least some of the sounds are similar. #SeikonNoQwaser

"Don't you know who my dad is?!"
"Pathetic. All you can do is hide behind the power of others."

Okay, I admit, that's a pretty cool response. #SeikonNoQwaser

And the ending isn't bad, either. Like, it's got a weird rock feel to it, which you'd think for an anime like this, they'd play into the Christian imagery and make it a choral song like Elfen Lied's opening. But it's not bad. #SeikonNoQwaser

And that's episode 1 done.

Yes. Those are just my notes for Episode ONE.

This is gonna take a while. #SeikonNoQwaser

So episode 2 begins with a dream sequence, which culminates in a joke about sleepy girl sucking on athletic girl's boobs. Because why not. #SeikonNoQwaser

Also...I'm not an expert on this subject, but isn't it, you know...really rare for a girl to lactate if she hasn't been pregnant before? I know some girls can do it without having a kid, but it's not exactly easy. #SeikonNoQwaser

And look--I'm not here to kinkshame. If you're into lactation, which I will neither confirm nor deny--that's fine. If this anime went the full-on porn route, I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't be reviewing it, but I wouldn't mind. #SeikonNoQwaser

But there's always something inherently dishonest about an ecchi anime to me. It's going to titillate you, because sex sells--but it never follows through because it doesn't want the stigma of being porn. My point of view is, just own it. #SeikonNoQwaser

Especially in cases like this and like Ikki Tousen, which tries to pretend that it has a serious story, when you know that the only thing people are there for is the fanservice. #SeikonNoQwaser

Also, the only explanation for her sucking on athletic girl's breasts is that her head was hazy from a fever.

(And the only prescription, is more breast milk!) #SeikonNoQwaser

I will never understand shows that juxtapose sex and violence. No, not just sex AND violence, but sex WITH violence involved. Like, in this episode there's a scene where we see some of Sasha's backstory, and we see him getting burned with a hot needle, because he can't use his-

abilities to stop the vibration of the molecules and stop the heat, which is what they're trying to make him do. Cut to him sucking on a woman's breasts to recover afterwards. #SeikonNoQwaser

Again...if you ARE getting off to a character being grievously injured, because they happen to be naked at the time...you have issues. #SeikonNoQwaser

"Borscht?! Like I could eat this forgery made by Japanese people!" Oh, so he's a racist too. #SeikonNoQwaser

Why would athletic girl be in her underwear while the other two are in full pajamas? It just makes things more awkward when she's having this serious conversation about trauma in her skivvies. #SeikonNoQwaser

See, now she's gotta run out and rescue her while still in her undies. Because...Iunno. #SeikonNoQwaser

"If you lie to me, I'll cut her nipple off!" That's...random. I mean, it'll hurt like hell, but she'll still LIVE. #SeikonNoQwaser

They are REALLY building up this girl who only appeared this episode. Calling it now: she's a traitor. #SeikonNoQwaser

Now they're trying to pretend the villain was sleepy girl the whole time. Which I don't buy for one second. #SeikonNoQwaser

YEP! #SeikonNoQwaser

"MUDA MUDA!" Look...I know it's just a word. But anime...you are not Jojo. And you never will be. #SeikonNoQwaser

"Now I am bleeding-making me the victor!' #SeikonNoQwaser

"The Qwaser of Gold!' I'd say something about how gold really isn't that powerful metal-wise, but hey, the main character's power is iron, and he somehow managed to burn through magnesium alloy, so eh. #SeikonNoQwaser

Okay, I'm sure that aside from the "muda" thing, there's no connection to Jojo-*cut to another character talking to a black coffin* OH COME ON! #SeikonNoQwaser

And that's episode 2 done. Oof. Maybe one more tonight. #SeikonNoQwaser

"These feel just like her." Wait, I know this one. *clears throat* "I touched my mother's breast. It bled on me." #SeikonNoQwaser

"An immeasurable power. It has the power over life and death."

In her BOOBS. #SeikonNoQwaser

"Really, all this soma talk...aren't you just obsessed with breasts?"...that's it. That's the whole anime, right there. #SeikonNoQwaser

"Is wandering around in your underwear a Japanese tradition?" In an ecchi series? Kinda. #SeikonNoQwaser

I do NOT want to review another anime with a pedophile female teacher, thank you very much. #SeikonNoQwaser

"I mean, she *does* hangs around with you." (sic)

Look, I know this is a fansub, but SOMEONE should have caught that.

I DEMAND HIGH-QUALITY TRANSLATIONS FOR MY BORDERLINE PORNO- #SeikonNoQwaser

"Pathetic breasts. You'll never match Tomo's level."

THEY'RE THE SAME SIZE! Unless you're referring to her milk, in which case--you can tell by feel? Or are your titty milk senses tingling? #SeikonNoQwaser

"Maybe he's out partying."

Oh yeah, the stoic 13-year-old who looks 11 totally seems like the party hard type. #SeikonNoQwaser

...so her plan was to trick her into raping her?

I know she has superpowers, but...okay. #SeikonNoQwaser

Wait...she's into it?

That's a really weird way of coming on to someone. #SeikonNoQwaser

That's the third episode done.

Honestly, I'm afraid that if I think too hard about anything in this series, my head's gonna explode. #SeikonNoQwaser

Oh. That was a fakeout. For no other reason than to tease the audience with girl-on-girl action.

I should have guessed. #SeikonNoQwaser

Wait, what happened to nun girl being all badass in the first episode? Suddenly she's easily taken out with a stun gun? Bullshit. #SeikonNoQwaser

And...suddenly an out-of-nowhere sex slavery ring.

Did I put on Masters of Martial Heart by mistake?! #SeikonNoQwaser

Wait, no, it's a SOFTCORE sex slave ring. They're treating this as a joke.

A woman being kidnapped and filmed for people to jerk off to is being used as a joke.

Yeah, this anime can fuck ALL the way off. #SeikonNoQwaser

No, you can go ahead and kill them. You've killed all the bad guys so far, and these ones debatably deserve it more, despite not being involved with the main plot...seriously, why the fuck was this here? #SeikonNoQwaser

And the villain just shows up in this random parking garage where the softcore sex slavery ring was, because...the Kool-Aid man is red. #SeikonNoQwaser

"Are these our...allies?"

Well, let's see...she tricked a girl into attempting to rape her so she could drink her breast milk, and she brought her dead mom back to life as a copper robot.

Personally, I think Faust VIII is more trustworthy than her! #SeikonNoQwaser

And again...we cut from a girl servicing another girl, to a dead, mutilated, naked woman.

Is ecchi anime just trying to raise a new generation of serial killers or something? #SeikonNoQwaser

Okay, that's 4 episodes. I'm only done with 1/6th of this series, but I am DONE for tonight. Holy FUCK, this is bad. #SeikonNoQwaser

It's time for more Big Titty Milky Funtime Show. #SeikonNoQwaser

We start off with a dream sequence in which nun girl's caregiver nun...gets her clothes dissolved by butterflies? Which also make her boobs squirt milk with those tentacles that butterflies totally have...again, who's getting off to this?! #SeikonNoQwaser

Aaaaand it's a dream to establish that nun girl's caregiver nun got raped in her backstory. Because of course this show went there. OF. FUCKING. COURSE. #SeikonNoQwaser

And right after we have a traumatic memory of rape, we cut to nun girl waking up from it in her underwear. And you had to, you just FUCKING HAD TO, show her shoulder strap falling off. Because, hey, SOMEONE still had a boner after that scene! #SeikonNoQwaser

You know, I said last time that I'm not here to kinkshame...but fuck it, if you're getting off to someone being raped (that's not part of a fantasy) then I'm going to kinkshame you all the fuck I want to. #SeikonNoQwaser

They call the class rep "Little Miss Toilet" because her surname can be read as that. Knowing this series, she's probably going to be literally shit on at some point. #SeikonNoQwaser

Yeah, Sister Wilma's former rapist is the bad guy. I could have called that, but I was too busy being pissed off. #SeikonNoQwaser

I don't see how this could get worse--HIS NAME IS GAS CHAMBER?!

There are not enough middle fingers in the WORLD. #SeikonNoQwaser

Unbelievable. We have rape and Godwinning in the same episode.

...when I said last time that I wanted to pick the worst thing that I had a request for, I didn't think this series would be THIS bad. I just thought it'd be a dumb ecchi series. #SeikonNoQwaser

But this...hoo boy, if anyone had a problem with me making a review saying "You know, maybe Team America isn't so funny anymore these days," then they are getting their schadenfreude on and THEN some. #SeikonNoQwaser

This seems like a tiny molehill against the mountains of both Godwinism and rape, but the relationship that Katja and assistant girl have is very...50-Shades. Abuse included. #SeikonNoQwaser

"Disco Inferno" seems appropriate here. #SeikonNoQwaser

*athletic girl catches nun girl getting off the toilet* Ew...she didn't wash her hands! You want a staph infection?! #SeikonNoQwaser

"Teresa exists only to provide me with soma. I don't ask about her past." WOW. That's a great message to send--women are just objects that exist to be milk factories! I used up all of my 'fuck you's on the last 'fuck you' but I need more for this. #SeikonNoQwaser

There is an art to including rape in a backstory. Oddly, one of the best examples actually comes from Jojo. Fugo's teacher tried to sexually assault him as a teenager, and Fugo beat his face in with a big-ass dictionary. It showed why he was ostracized because the teacher-

ended up in the hospital, but it allows you to sympathize with him because you know he's in the right for what he did. Also, it wasn't an excuse to write him out of the story. LIKE HERE. #SeikonNoQwaser

STOP TRYING TO MAKE KILLING PEOPLE SEXY, YOU FUCKING FUCKS- #SeikonNoQwaser

Oh, okay...it wasn't ACTUAL rape, just imagery that LOOKED like rape.

That's only SLIGHTLY better, anime. You're on thin ice. #SeikonNoQwaser

See, I fucking knew you'd waste it!

"No, THAT scene wasn't actually rape, but THIS one is!" #SeikonNoQwaser

I'm sure her tit milk tastes real good after all three girls were doused with both chlorine and gardening lime. #SeikonNoQwaser

Okay, I admit...as awful as that buildup was, seeing Teresa kick some ass was pretty cool. Too bad the motive behind it was fucking reprehensible. #SeikonNoQwaser

Okay, this is the first thing in this anime that's actually made me laugh, and I don't think it was a joke. So, psycho loli girl helps out our heroes with a copper shield in this episode, and she's waiting on a roof nearby to look all cool, and then- #SeikonNoQwaser

the random priest guy somehow shows up on the roof behind her and she had no idea. I actually think that was a funny subversion.

Or, maybe I'm just looking for ANYTHING good in this episode. #SeikonNoQwaser

And that's episode 5 done...holy shit, that was the worst one. Well, the worst one SO FAR. #SeikonNoQwaser

Episode 6 start: "Get it? It sounds like they are talking about sex. Ha ha ha ha ha..." #SeikonNoQwaser

I feel sorry for ANY girl who tries to put a top on that’s that tight. No wonder the buttons shot off, she literally can’t breathe in that. #SeikonNoQwaser

...why would their dad have had access to the villa in the first place? Whatever, this is just an excuse to get them all into maid outfits. #SeikonNoQwaser

And we get an origin story for the alpha bitch character, and OH MY GOD I DON'T CARE. #SeikonNoQwaser

...why aren't you telling him you're doing it to look for the icon? I know Sasha's an asshole, but that's no excuse to be an asshole right back. #SeikonNoQwaser

Ah, I see, they're sending Bad Company after them. #SeikonNoQwaser

...you just murdered...several people...over a fucking Faberge egg.

WHY?! #SeikonNoQwaser

And it's because assistant girl was being kinkily tortured in the bathroom that she's able to sneak in and help save the day. Because shut up. #SeikonNoQwaser

"He's a guy!"
"...not a problem."

*sarcastic slow clap* #SeikonNoQwaser

And of course they have a giant guy who's a pedo. #SeikonNoQwaser

And, OF COURSE, they imply that Katja's backstory involved rape too. Because fuck this anime with a rusty screwdriver. #SeikonNoQwaser

Why is there a spotlight there?! Is she Satsuki?! #SeikonNoQwaser

This one was okay. At least, by comparison.

Which doesn't say much, but I'll take what I can get. #SeikonNoQwaser

Episode 7: Flashback of the two heroines seeing a manatee breast-feeding at the aquarium. Does EVERYTHING in this show revolve around boobs?! #SeikonNoQwaser

"What is this room?"
"It's a secret base."

OH SHIT, I'M WATCHING ATTACK ON TITAN--wait, why am I complaining about that? I'd actually even take AoT over THIS. #SeikonNoQwaser

Okay, I actually kinda want a frozen tangerine. That sounds pretty good. #SeikonNoQwaser

...he has a giant ball and chain. Did you really think your wooden sword would work on it?

Come to think of it, what does that have to do with having helium powers? #SeikonNoQwaser

...so why did he take her clothes off after he rescued her?

Do I want to know the answer to that? #SeikonNoQwaser

Why would you think she was a guy with a name like Lizzie? #SeikonNoQwaser