THREAD: Men can live in a world of sexual harassment and violence against girls/women and not be impacted personally. This is privilege. When this is pointed out, we become uncomfortable, then annoyed. As if we are being victimized by not being allowed to go on ignoring it all /1
We men can live life untroubled by sexual harassment and violence against girls and women. All we have to do is one simple thing. Just ignore it. Don't take a stand against it. Stay on the sidelines.
Be good men, sure, just don’t rock the boat, just be quiet about it all. /2
Sure, maybe sometimes we have to give some angry women some pushback. You know, #NotAllMen and so on. We have to clarify, “I don’t rape.” But that’s just us making sure people know we’re good men. Then we can go back to ignoring this issue that we’re not personally creating. /3
But one nagging question remains. What kind of good man remains silent in the face of others' suffering? What kind of good man gets annoyed when girls and women challenge them to help? When a house is burning do we stand by and say “well, I didn’t set that fire?” /4
Fuck no, we don’t. We get a bucket and we fight the fire. Because some day our house may be on fire. It works the same way with sexual harassment/violence. Because some day a woman or girl we love may be the target of a predator. This fire is now. We are called to help NOW. /5
And guess what? Men, you cannot live life of privilege ignoring sexual violence against women. We aren’t actually immune. Women we know and love are already being harassed/assaulted. One in five women will be rape survivors. We are already standing in that burning house. Ours. /6
There will be no peace and no comfort for men until all of this ends. We don’t get to enjoy our comfortable lives until we insure others lives are equally safe and comfortable. Sorry to guilt you boys, but this is how morality actually works. No comfort while wickedness abides /7
Also. A culture that refuses to tolerate sexual harassment and violence against girls and women would also refuse to accept it against boys and men. Zero tolerance against sexual violence is a debt we owe future generations. Men, it's past time to make this happen. /8
And for the record, for men, the issue isn’t whether sexual assault will happen to a girl or woman we know. That’s not the reason to take action because it grants the possibility for inaction. “It hasn’t happened to a woman in my circle” becomes our excuse to remain silent. /9
For one thing, we don't know which women in our circles are survivors of rape. /10
We can pretty much assume all the women we know have been harassed, so in our hearts we know our inaction on speaking out is already suspect. But whether or not we know a survivor can't define the baseline moral imperative here otherwise it's back to self interest, again. /11
We must stand up for everyone, everywhere and speak out against sexual violence against any human being, man, woman, boy or girl, stranger or friend. That is the baseline moral imperative that will define a good person. We must all stop averting our eyes and take action. /12
For those would would like a version of this thread in article form, it is here: medium.com/@remakingmanho… /13
"First, see the culture. Then, change the culture."
Want to start a powerful conversation about masculinity with someone you care about? Give them a copy of The Little #Metoo Book for Men. amazon.com/Little-MeToo-B… /14
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
The MAGA Republican Party meltdown, floating island of garbage joke, beeper going off comment on CNN, “enemy within” declarations by Trump. All of it is a sign of MAGA rage and panic fueled by the power of Vice President Kamala Harris’s political campaign, and Harris herself.
Yes, we must be mindful of a coordinated MAGA plan to overthrow the 2024 election. Trump’s intentionally divisive demonization of Americans, Democrats, LGBTQ folks, immigrants, people of other faiths as targeted by Project 2025 are designed to motivate MAGA for another Jan 6.
Women outperform men because they are adopting traditional masculine strengths and adding them to their own faster than men are adopting traditional feminine strengths and adding them to theirs. We can all be fully empowered by claiming our full range of human capabilities. /1
Men hesitate to display universal human capacities like empathy, emotional expression, care giving and curiosity because in our generations old dominance-based Man Box culture of masculinity, we’ve been taught these capabilities are feminine and therefore weak. They’re neither /2
Millions of men are breaking out of Man Box culture and bringing our full range of human capacities to parenting, partnering, workplaces and communities. When we do, we discover that these so called feminine capacities are the key to ending our epidemic levels of loneliness. /3
Ya’ll see where this is going, yeah?—Republican Chair Says Only Christians Should Be Elected to Government - Newsweek newsweek.com/kandiss-taylor…
Getting the knack of spotting extremist MAGA language trial balloons. They’re testing the limits of what is acceptable; saying the quiet parts out loud out on the fringe. Next up, some GOP State Rep in Montana repeats it.
Then, of course, there’s the part where MAGA Christian nationalists take power and then start deciding who’s a legitimate Christian and who’s not. That’s a whole different kind of blood bath.
THE NEXT BIG CALL: WHITE DUDES FOR HARRIS. This group of men is stepping up. Inspired by, and following in the footsteps of Black women, it's time for white men to get 100% engaged and make sure Kamala Harris is elected as our next President. Join here: /1 bit.ly/whitedudesforh…
The reasons why white men like myself must show up in support of Kamala Harris for President were on full display at the Republican National Convention. Trump/Vance’s Project 2025 MAGA movement is a war on women, especially Black women. /2
For too long, Man Box culture has positioned white men at the top of a bullying and rigid dominance-based culture of masculinity which teaches us that the only power that matters is power we create over others. The result has been economic, political and environmental disaster /3
@Meta is now actively defending Project 2025 across all its platforms. Instagram/Facebook are tagging posts raising the alarm about Project 2025 with this statement. "Partly false information. The same information was reviewed by independent fact-checkers in another post.” /1
The "independent fact checkers" they are citing? The Dispatch.
Who is The Dispatch? The “neutral fact checker” that Meta is relying on? Of course The Dispatch is a self defined conservative source. Of, course it is. /2en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dispa…
From Wikipedia: "After The Weekly Standard ceased publication in December 2018, Hayes, Goldberg, and Stock were inspired to start a media company with the goal of 'producing serious, factually grounded journalism for a conservative audience.'" /3
The reason men in the manosphere are so angry at women? Because empowerment for women requires accountability from men. For men, being held accountable, and moreso, *holding ourselves accountable* in relationships where women have equal power requires self-reflection. /1
For men raised in our bullying dominance-based culture of masculinity, self reflection is forbidden, punished. Who we authentically are doesn’t matter in Man Box culture, We are trained instead to model our identity on a narrow set of rules for how to be a man. /2
“Don’t show your emotions. Be tough. Have control of women and girls. Be heterosexual. Never talk about anything deep. Be a breadwinner not a caregiver. Have lots of sex.” All these rules require we show dominance over those around us, including over the women in our lives. /3