Thread by @JesseCoffey15

COMMENTARY: "10 The Loud House Deleted Scenes Nickelodeon Doesn't Want You To See", uploaded to @YouTube by @TheThingscom

In late 1979, the late great film critics Gene Siskel and @ebertchicago reviewed "In Search of Historic Jesus" by describing the method its distributor, Sunn Classic Pictures (later Taft International; now defunct) used to market its "documentaries". imdb.com/title/tt008014…

This method: rent the theater, increase the admission price, watch as the people go to see what Mr. Siskel would call "a cheap magic show", say in newspaper and TV ads (there was no such thing as the Internet then) that the film is playing for "one week only" for many weeks . . .

. . . and, well, you get the idea. I told @moonlightnycole and @FurbySquawk some months ago that I thought #TheThings was the modern-day version of Sunn Classic Pictures, the only difference between the two being that you can always see videos from #TheThings for free.

Nothing enhances my belief in this fact more than the channel's (by count) third video on "#TheLoudHouse Deleted Scenes @Nickelodeon Doesn't Want You To See". And I say third because this, after all, is the channel that gave us "10 Loud House Episodes" . . .

. . . "That Weren't Aired In Other Countries", "Loud House Deleted Scenes That Change EVERYTHING!", and which is also responsible for "10 The Loud House Episodes That WEREN'T FOR KIDS", another "10 The Loud House Episodes That WEREN'T FOR KIDS" . . .

. . . "10 Times The Loud House Went TOO FAR", etc., etc., etc. THIS one opens with a monologue telling Lincoln that "we know you've got it rough with so many sisters to deal with, but lighten up." This implies he has never been on good terms with any of them and vice versa . . .

. . . the kind of baloney that was stirred up by every "No Such Luck" follow-up and retread that has ever been written. But as if that wasn't enough, the monologue tells Lincoln, for the billionth time, that he and his family "were almost bunnies instead of human kids."

It concludes by telling us that Lucy "blows up the house" and, because she never actually does that (she prefers to magically appear somewhere in the household instead) she is surrounded by an explosion that looks like it was photo-shopped from an old 16MM film print of an anime.

After the introduction, we are treated to someone named "Beverly", and the video asks, in 2019, "did you guys know that the characters in #TheLoudHouse were originally supposed to be bunny rabbits?" To which anyone who watches the @BBCWorld News would say "yes" at this point.

The video states that Beverly is "kind of a cross between Lori and Luan, but since we already have Lori and Luan, there was no need for Beverly." To which I respond, "no shit, Sherlock."

We then get to a statement noting that the scene in which Lincoln heats a burrito in Mrs. Jelinsky's car during the episode "Intern for the Worse" was "banned" in the UK (actually, more like gutted in the editing room, since the @BBFC only classifies TV shows if they're on DVD).

And this is because "people thought it sent the wrong message to kids." You could argue it also sends the wrong message to many of the characters @JimCarrey plays, all of them being adults, but let's not get into that argument now.

Then we cut to an explanation of a deleted scene from the episode "April Fools Rules" where Luan, a prior target of #TheThings' attacks on the sisters (but conspicuously not Flip . . . gee, I wonder why), had Lincoln drink bucket after bucket of water . . .

https://twitter.com/JesseCoffey15/status/1129567189399326721

. . . to the point where he has to go to the bathroom. Even the Loud House Encyclopedia will tell you that it was gutted because it ran over the length of the episode, but since #TheThings never actually bothers to read the damn article on it, the announcer informs us that . . .

. . . "no one knows for sure why the scene was deleted". After this, we get an explanation that "Overnight Success" was banned in Russia for the same reason that it was criticized by @1milmoms: IT. REVEALED. CLYDE'S. DADS.

Anyone with a world atlas can figure out that that was why the episode was banned in Russia without this insulting video; do you ever get up in the middle of the night and wonder why there's such a thing as a punk band named @pussyrrriot?

Next, we are told, for the billionth time, that Lynn's teeth were supposed to be bleeding in a scene from "Lynner Takes All", and, once again, I instruct you to go "no shit, Sherlock" the minute the lady announcing it intones that the deleted scene is "super disturbing".

And then, we get to two of the rabbit sisters who never became human: Blanch (because "allergies and illnesses are no laughing matter") and Bippa (because, we are told, "she's more of a caricature than a character"). And finally, we get to that gutted-in-the-editing-room scene...

...(except it's obvious that it's really not a gutted-in-the-editing-room scene) from "April Fools Rules" of Clyde twisting the sprinkler on with his shoes, falling into a haystack and being chased after by black birds. And, finally, we get to the last rabbit in the video . . .

. . . whose name is Brenda. Here, we get the sense that #TheThings is very desperate to prove itself in the Loud Crowd after all it's done, so all the information about her is gleaned from a YouTuber named Calobi Productions, who has been called out many times by many folks . . .

. . . for (1) being about as reliable as a deflated @Goodyear tire, (2) having piles upon piles of clickbait to shove down your throat, and (3) a bunch of other things detailed in the review of the channel below this link. terribletvshows.m.miraheze.org/wiki/Calobi_Pr…

The video concludes with the announcer saying, "before you go, tell us who your favorite #LoudHouse character is in the comments". What in the world does that have to do with deleted stuff from that show?

This video is a ripoff of some of its other videos on the same subject, and, in addition to that, it can't get the title right because it has EIGHT "#TheLoudHouse Deleted Scenes" instead of TEN (this must be what Tom Lehrer was talking about in his song "New Math") . . .

. . . and it's also rather insulting to the intelligence of anyone who actually looked this stuff up on the Internet. In fact, it might cause your average intellectual to think about restarting the #EndTheThings hashtag. Oh, and I won't even mention the thumbnail art anymore.

All right, @threadreaderapp, let's #unroll it!