Between my normal depression/anxiety/bipolar, I was feeling really scary last month &went to my therapist. She said I'm most likely in a manic episode right now, which does explain the hysterical and extreme nature of how I'm feeling. She told me I probably have PPD on top. 😁👌
So, unfortunately, though what would be best for my mental state and reputation would be to stay home until it goes away, I work a lot these days and we need the money. Especially if I'm going to have to pay a psychologist to test me and a psychiatrist to medicate me. It's
frustrating and exhausting to say the least. I'm so tired. I don't sleep much anymore. I can't eat. Lost 30 pounds in two months with zero effort. Trust me, it doesn't sound good if you know how much more weight I can still lose. I'm officially on watch for my weight.
This time last year, I was three months pregnant and about 104lbs. I sit best at about 125-135. I don't like being skinny. I like having hips and an ass and not being able to count my ribs from across the room.
I gotta get this under control. I feel suffocated, disassociative, impulsive and reckless as fuck. I feel lost and scared but somehow too brave and emboldened to do things I know I shouldn't. I haven't yet. Because I know where I'm at mentally. But that means I'm sitting here
questioning every single decision I have to make every day. "Is that a good choice or is it just an impulse?" I have to try to curb these thoughts that are kind of all-consuming. Ignore the little Shia LaBeouf in the back of my mind telling me not to let me dreams just be dreams.
Thank you, little mind-Shia, I appreciate the support but I feel like maybe you have my -current- interests and not my -best- interests at heart. We can still chat, though. How's your day?
So, long story short, I've been avoiding Twitter and the news for a few months because a bitch really don't need another reason to cry anymore. #bipolar #ppd #shia #justdoit
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
