1/
I was walking into Grady one day after lunch and saw 3 young black men standing outside near the entrance. They were laughing and talking in animated voices. The easy, melodic African American vernacular they used was familiar. Some profanity was interspersed.
I drew closer.
I was walking into Grady one day after lunch and saw 3 young black men standing outside near the entrance. They were laughing and talking in animated voices. The easy, melodic African American vernacular they used was familiar. Some profanity was interspersed.
I drew closer.
2/
One was slender with long locs rolled into an afrocentric hipster man-bun. A loc fell to his shoulder and he tucked it behind his ear.
He gave one of his friends a playful punch in the arm. He dropped an f-bomb while laughing.
A passerby grimaced in their direction.
One was slender with long locs rolled into an afrocentric hipster man-bun. A loc fell to his shoulder and he tucked it behind his ear.
He gave one of his friends a playful punch in the arm. He dropped an f-bomb while laughing.
A passerby grimaced in their direction.
3/
Another was short and stout with espresso skin. He wore a close-cut fade haircut. He smiled. I could see that his mouth was filled with gleaming gold teeth, striking against his complexion. Both of his ears were pierced with diamond studs.
He caught my eye and gave me a nod.
Another was short and stout with espresso skin. He wore a close-cut fade haircut. He smiled. I could see that his mouth was filled with gleaming gold teeth, striking against his complexion. Both of his ears were pierced with diamond studs.
He caught my eye and gave me a nod.
4/
The third fellow was leaning on the wall chuckling in response to his comrades. His dancing eyes were a soft shade of amber and his wide nose was dusted with freckles. His reddish hair exploded from his scalp in crinkled afro twists.
He was chewing a big wad of bubble gum.
The third fellow was leaning on the wall chuckling in response to his comrades. His dancing eyes were a soft shade of amber and his wide nose was dusted with freckles. His reddish hair exploded from his scalp in crinkled afro twists.
He was chewing a big wad of bubble gum.
5/
They greeted me in deference as I approached.
Manbun: "Hey Ms. Doctor."
Me: "Hey gentlemen. Y’all doing alright?"
All: "Yes, ma'am."
Me: "That's great. Have a good day, gentlemen."
I walked past them to the door.
They smiled and all said it again in unison: "Yes, ma'am."
They greeted me in deference as I approached.
Manbun: "Hey Ms. Doctor."
Me: "Hey gentlemen. Y’all doing alright?"
All: "Yes, ma'am."
Me: "That's great. Have a good day, gentlemen."
I walked past them to the door.
They smiled and all said it again in unison: "Yes, ma'am."
6/
Something about them saying “yes, ma’am” felt maternal and respectful. While hearing it took some getting used to, I don’t mind it. I try to return the favor by greeting the young men I see around Grady as "gentlemen"--no matter who they are.
Just like I do my own sons.
Something about them saying “yes, ma’am” felt maternal and respectful. While hearing it took some getting used to, I don’t mind it. I try to return the favor by greeting the young men I see around Grady as "gentlemen"--no matter who they are.
Just like I do my own sons.
7/
They stood taller as I crossed them; their body language underscoring that they had what my grandmama used to call “home training.” It was clear that they saw me as—dare I say it? An elder.
Gasp.
But yeah. To them, I was that. No doubt about it.
It was cool, though.
They stood taller as I crossed them; their body language underscoring that they had what my grandmama used to call “home training.” It was clear that they saw me as—dare I say it? An elder.
Gasp.
But yeah. To them, I was that. No doubt about it.
It was cool, though.
8/
Manbun reached for the door when I got to it and held it open. Just then I noticed that all three of them had their pants hanging nearly to their mid thighs, boxer briefs exposed clear down to the lower third of their glutes.
Uggh.
I decided to play my elder card.
Yup.
Manbun reached for the door when I got to it and held it open. Just then I noticed that all three of them had their pants hanging nearly to their mid thighs, boxer briefs exposed clear down to the lower third of their glutes.
Uggh.
I decided to play my elder card.
Yup.
9/
Me: "It's hard for me to see my three little brothers standing out here with their pants falling down. Pull up those britches, gentlemen."
And yes. I said "britches."
I mean, seeing as I’m an elder and all.
Guess what happened next?
Me: "It's hard for me to see my three little brothers standing out here with their pants falling down. Pull up those britches, gentlemen."
And yes. I said "britches."
I mean, seeing as I’m an elder and all.
Guess what happened next?
9/
I'll tell you:
All three of them immediately pulled up their low-slung jeans up over their hips. They all mumbled apologies and words like "my bad" and such.
Yup.
I stopped to face them.
Me: "Who y'all here to see?"
Manbun: "Our homeboy."
Me: *nodding*
I'll tell you:
All three of them immediately pulled up their low-slung jeans up over their hips. They all mumbled apologies and words like "my bad" and such.
Yup.
I stopped to face them.
Me: "Who y'all here to see?"
Manbun: "Our homeboy."
Me: *nodding*
10/
Me: "How is he?"
Manbun: "Better."
*silence*
Me: "Is his mama there, too? ‘Cause if she is there, I know she don't want to see your whole behind hanging out of your jeans."
*laughter*
Manbun: "Ha ha ha . . . we hear you, Auntie."
And yes. He called me "Auntie."
Me: "How is he?"
Manbun: "Better."
*silence*
Me: "Is his mama there, too? ‘Cause if she is there, I know she don't want to see your whole behind hanging out of your jeans."
*laughter*
Manbun: "Ha ha ha . . . we hear you, Auntie."
And yes. He called me "Auntie."
11/
Freckle-Face: "Dang, Auntie. You goin' in on us!"
*laughter*
Me: "Okay, but for real--what's the deal with your entire butt and drawers hanging out of your pants?"
Them: *looking at each other with amusement*
Me: *eyes widening* "I'm serious, y'all!"
*more laughter*
Freckle-Face: "Dang, Auntie. You goin' in on us!"
*laughter*
Me: "Okay, but for real--what's the deal with your entire butt and drawers hanging out of your pants?"
Them: *looking at each other with amusement*
Me: *eyes widening* "I'm serious, y'all!"
*more laughter*
12/
Freckle face: "It's just the style, I guess."
Me: *old lady scowl* "A style that makes it where you walking like a penguin?"
Espresso: “But a cool-ass penguin, though.” *walking like a penguin*
*laughter and high fives*
Me: *shaking head playfully*
Freckle face: "It's just the style, I guess."
Me: *old lady scowl* "A style that makes it where you walking like a penguin?"
Espresso: “But a cool-ass penguin, though.” *walking like a penguin*
*laughter and high fives*
Me: *shaking head playfully*
13/
Me: *chuckling* “Okay then, gentlemen. Let me go on in here and do my job.”
*laughter as I walked inside*
Me: “Thanks for holding the door. And glad your homebody is doing okay.”
Them: *nodding in appreciation*
I picked up my pace and hurried toward the elevators.
Me: *chuckling* “Okay then, gentlemen. Let me go on in here and do my job.”
*laughter as I walked inside*
Me: “Thanks for holding the door. And glad your homebody is doing okay.”
Them: *nodding in appreciation*
I picked up my pace and hurried toward the elevators.
14/
Suddenly, I heard a voice loudly calling across the corridor from back by the entrance.
Manbun: "Hey Auntie! Hey Ms. Doctor!"
I swung around quickly and looked back.
Suddenly, I heard a voice loudly calling across the corridor from back by the entrance.
Manbun: "Hey Auntie! Hey Ms. Doctor!"
I swung around quickly and looked back.
15/
All 3 of them were standing in a row gripping their jeans, all of them hiked up nearly to their chests. They all had these goofy, exaggerated grins and waddled like penguins.
I smacked my forehead and smirked.
Then we all burst out laughing. Hard.
And it was so good.
All 3 of them were standing in a row gripping their jeans, all of them hiked up nearly to their chests. They all had these goofy, exaggerated grins and waddled like penguins.
I smacked my forehead and smirked.
Then we all burst out laughing. Hard.
And it was so good.
16/
I told my team on rounds later that day:
"If you stay with someone long enough, you'll always find a place where you intersect. Always."
No-- I don't like the sight of sagging jeans. At all. And honestly? I'm not a huge fan of gold fronts either.
Nope.
I told my team on rounds later that day:
"If you stay with someone long enough, you'll always find a place where you intersect. Always."
No-- I don't like the sight of sagging jeans. At all. And honestly? I'm not a huge fan of gold fronts either.
Nope.
17/
But you know?
What I DO have is a deep fondness for goofy sons with silly smiles. And beautiful brown manchildren with knotty hair and easy slang who hold doors for elders, look out for their homeboys, call me “ma’am,” and who also poke fun at me and each other.
But you know?
What I DO have is a deep fondness for goofy sons with silly smiles. And beautiful brown manchildren with knotty hair and easy slang who hold doors for elders, look out for their homeboys, call me “ma’am,” and who also poke fun at me and each other.
18/
Just like the ones that stood outside of that hospital entrance today.
And just like the ones that came from my own body.
Yeah.👊🏾
#iseeyou #fightbias #slowdown #somebodysbaby
Just like the ones that stood outside of that hospital entrance today.
And just like the ones that came from my own body.
Yeah.👊🏾
#iseeyou #fightbias #slowdown #somebodysbaby
