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In an attempt to keep myself accountable and hopefully BE BETTER, I am going to keep an ongoing list of all of the things I fail at as a husband. Keep in mind that my wife also works and that i call myself an advocate for equity at work and at home. this is how i FAIL:
"doing the laundry" does not mean just putting clothes in the washer, it means turning a heap of dirty clothes into clean, dry, folded clothes. FAIL
I don't know where anything is in our home. anything. forget the kids things - i lose all of my things, all the time, and my wife always knows where they are. it isn't because she has a fantastic memory: it is because I expect her to know those things so I don't need to.  FAIL
doing the dishes' doesn't mean i can wait until the end of the night and do everything in an epic sudsy kitchen battle with a podcast for 3h.

it means there are no dishes left in the sink during the day, ever, period. If i don't get to them first, she does them. MEGA FAIL
'cooking dinner' does not mean i get to neglect child care for 2 hours, prepare an elaborate feast of things I love, then leave all of the dishes in my wake. EPIC FAIL
'letting you sleep in' does not count if I spent the entire time 'surviving' and none of the kids are fed, clothed, or any of the other 100 things you do by the time you wake up and i immediately retreat for "a break" TREMENDOUS FAIL
ordering out' does not mean i take 2x longer than needed to get the food so i can tweet in the car and then order almost entirely food I like more FAIL
Always opting to take dumb chores over those that require thoughtful decision making (ex: i'll take out the trash, can you look into life insurance?) is a GIGANTOR FAIL
keeping track of the kids' everything to do with school, doctors, activities, esp friends' parents' names- this is not just your job and I can't complain every time it comes up FINISH HIM FAIL FAIL FAIL
It is actually not "efficient" to leave things out on the counter because I "might" need them again soon (and never actually put them away so she has to clean up after me) FAIL!!
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More from @laxswamy see all

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Lakshman Swamy
@laxswamy
It's just past 4:00 a.m. in the #COVID ICU. If you were here, you might be surprised at how quiet it is, at how few people you see. You might think it's not so bad here. How could this be a crisis?

That is not an accurate reflection of what's happening here. 🧵
Our patients with COVID are in single rooms behind glass doors on ventilators.

In the ED, you might hear people screaming, sobbing, laughing.

Patients with COVID in the ICU aren't doing any of that. They just breathe.

We help them. Quietly.
The ICU is all about meticulous control. We don't thrive in chaos, in fact, our top priority is to suppress it. Disorganization & critical illness don't go well together. Instead, we watch, we control, we support. That's how we save lives. Slowly. A nudge here, a tweak there.
Read 10 tweets
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Lakshman Swamy
@laxswamy
Hi everyone, I'm a ventilator! I have just one job: to breathe when your loved one can't. I'm life support. But it's a big job, and I can't do it alone... [a #COVID19 thread by me & @ChrisWorsham]
Not everyone with COVID will need me- only those sick enough to die at any moment. Unfortunately, that is a lot of patients during this crisis. Most projections suggest we will have a lot of critically ill patients, and ICUs are already feeling the burden.
Unfortunately, it takes a long time to get through severe COVID infection, sometimes even weeks. Patients are truly that sick the whole time- 1/3 may still die (using a lower limit of ARDS mortality). It is truly critical care.
Read 12 tweets
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Lakshman Swamy
@laxswamy
In the ICU today and seeing this up close. Many under investigation and each one is a massive resource strain. no confirmed cases because of enormous turn around time. This is as much a crisis of testing as it is a crisis of treating. #COVID19
People really coming together, but of course everyone's a little bit on edge. I was in a patient's room who wasn't at all someone we were worried about having it.

The patient coughed and I have to admit I freaked out for a half hour or so.
We did a procedure in a high suspicion room. I was quickly reminded just how hot and stuffy it is in an n95.

So much care with keeping things clean going in and out of the room. So much I never thought about before. Just the time it takes to clean everything that comes out...!
Read 9 tweets

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