Had 1st ever encounter with my neighbour - a kung fu lover known as Golden Eagle who also happens to be a 6 year old girl. A shared moment of connection during a strange time, or so I thought…Golden Eagle, Crouching Weasel: Lockdown encounters with a 6 year old Ninja - a thread
It begins: Met my neighbour at the end of the garden, a small girl who introduced herself as 'a ninja'. She can do Kung Fu. I confessed I too am a ninja & we took a moment to exchange balances. Having won her trust, she revealed her ninja name: Golden Eagle & asked me mine
I told her. She disappeared. l continued to hang out the washing, as the last pillowcase was hung & I turned to head inside - she made me jump by leaping up from behind the wall, shouting
'I can do camouflage too. See you later Crouching Weasel'. An unlikely friendship is born
'I can do camouflage too. See you later Crouching Weasel'. An unlikely friendship is born
Turns out Golden Eagle - as well as being a mighty warrior - is also what you might call ‘a talker’ and is now a regular visitor, along with her brother, ‘The Karate Captain’ - more the strong silent type, but when he does speak, likes to say waffles for no explicable reason
You can’t really see into the neighbours garden as they have a large shed/studio that backs onto our garden. However a small child can fit round the back of this and onto our short dividing wall as discovered at this first meeting.
I soon realised that I may have opened what is known in the trade as ‘a can of worms’. NINJAS MAY BE PEACE LOVING, BUT THEY ARE NOT QUIET.
Our garden used to be a sanctuary, a place for quiet contemplation, filled only with birdsong & occasionally underscored by the hippy neighbour’s terrible reggae covers at a volume that could only be described as generous
now whenever I go out there, I am soon joined by my friend who is always eager for ninja time. It is fair to say I am learning a lot from this unexpected friendship. These are my top lessons from Golden Eagle - a ninja in isolation. YOU CAN RUN FROM A NINJA BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE
One day, smugly thinking I had found a way to claw back my outdoor oasis, hiding behind a mass of bamboo, so I could quietly attempt the crossword (check my phone. Again. Screen time up 729%), I hear,
‘Where’s Crouching Weasel? I thought I saw her earlier - ooh look, are they feet? Do you think they’re Crouching Weasel’s feet? I hope they are. ‘CROUCHING WEASEL, ARE THEY YOUR FEET?’
NINJAS LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. The first time she met my wife Golden🦅 went into full interrogation mode, who had unsuspectingly popped out to prune our bay tree, ‘what are you doing in Crouching Weasel’s garden? Why are you cutting Crouching Weasel’s tree?’
My wife tried to explain that we shared the garden, but G🦅 remained suitably suspicious, pointedly watching every secateur snip, until I came out to verify her story. Wifey then had to put up with clear disappointment every time she was out in the garden instead of me
‘Oh it’s you again...why is Crouching Weasel not out here?' Fed up with being the boring one, wifey did the only thing she could, NINJAS LIKE NINJAS & taking inspiration from her favourite food, The Deadly Onion was born. But our adventures were only just beginning...
THE DAY THE BLACK BRA BLEW OFF THE WASHING LINE & WIFE TOLD G🦅 IT WAS MINE
'I saw a black bra on the floor, Deadly Onion said you were wearing it today.'
'Oh did she?'
'So, are you wearing your black bra now?'
'I saw a black bra on the floor, Deadly Onion said you were wearing it today.'
'Oh did she?'
'So, are you wearing your black bra now?'
NINJA CAREER ADVICE
'What's Deadly Onion doing now?'
'She's working inside'
'But what work is she actually doing?'
'She's writing on the computer'
'Oh that's not writing, that's just writing. Work is more like doing things like pictures and zookeepers'
'What's Deadly Onion doing now?'
'She's working inside'
'But what work is she actually doing?'
'She's writing on the computer'
'Oh that's not writing, that's just writing. Work is more like doing things like pictures and zookeepers'
NINJAS DON'T FORGET SLOPPY LAUNDRY PRACTICES
'You know the other day when your black bra fell on the ground.'
'Er, yes.'
'My Mum has these special clips she clips the washing with. You should get some of those.'
'Right.'
'You know the other day when your black bra fell on the ground.'
'Er, yes.'
'My Mum has these special clips she clips the washing with. You should get some of those.'
'Right.'
She hopes after the virus, we can shake hands or something.If you need NINJA ADVICE on any subject right now, I can seek Golden Eagle's wise counsel. Just ask away... #stayathome #lockdown #lockdownlessons #IsolationLife #isolationstories #quarantine #QuarantineLife 
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