Thread by @OSPyoutube

Every project has a busywork stage, where you have to do a mass of boring structural work before you get back to the interesting, fun stuff. I've spent three days doing almost nothing but project busywork and I NEED a bad movie tonight so TAKING SUGGESTIONS -R

guys c'mon, I've already watched Eragon, DBE, Cats and Super Mario Brothers. We need to go deeper down the bad movie rabbit hole! Off the beaten bad movie path! We need the forbidden cinema! -R

no matter what wins……… I lose

I've heard great things about you, my friend

"what's this smaller, shittier batman logo? Oh it's robin"

the third and fourth shots in this movie are nips and the fifth through eighth are butts and nuts. what have I gotten myself into

I've seen worse robit suits. This one basically looks like the nightwing suit, red edition.

That said, the hilarity of clooneyman clearly not being able to turn his head is wonderful

okay but I really love how gotham looks in this movie. Really putting the GOTH in gotham

bold move, giving the punny one-liners to The Ahnold and his thick accent

"In this universe, there is only one absolute" should have been followed with "ABSOLUTE ZERO", not "Everything FREEEEEZES". These puns are leaving me… cold

the ice in this movie looks impressively fake

no it was a meteor dammit also why did the plastic dinosaur display make a dinosaur roar noise when it fell apart

"FREEZE WELL" THAT'S NOT EVEN A SAYING

Honestly this opener is dumb as hell but at least it's colorful and exciting, which is more than I can say for some batman movies

"Your emotions make you weak" says the villain entirely motivated by his desire to save his wife

loving the cheeky wave from freeze though

isn't this lex luthor's dad from smallville? can't he normally… act?

What is with all these bad guys offering armies of supersoldiers? Was this just the default Evil Scheme of the 90s?

"Sadly, I'm not good at rejection. I'm afraid you'll have to die!"
wow this guy is really upfront

"Doctor Victor Freis, two-time olympic decathlete" is as good an explanation as any for why he looks like Ze Ahnold

"You're still a novice in the ways of family" is the coldest fuckin line to direct at bruce and in came from ALFRED

yes Isley does look great but we all know her heart belongs to Harley Quinn so dudes stop making out with her already

all of freeze's minions are freezing in full winter coats, except this flirty lady who's kissing up to him in nothing but lingerie and a fur hood and looks barely uncomfortable

barbara is……… british?

Honestly I love all these giant dumb statues everywhere. More cities need this aesthetic

"You're not going to hurt me, miss."
"Doctor."

Ah, well that's a whole-ass mood

listen I don't HATE a poison ivy who would unironically make her evil lair in a rainforest cafe, I'm just kinda more partial to the "tired botanist going home to her clown girlfriend after a long day of feeding bazillionaire oil moguls to plants"

what… is this "bidding on girls" scene? like I blinked and it was happening without any explanation

I respect their dedication to making isley look disheveled and un-made-up for the first 40 minutes so her big glamorous debut would hit harder - but I feel like the leaf-eyebrow look was maybe not the way to go

look I'd shit-talk "I've got some…… wild oats to sow" but I fully believe that's the kind of line isley would use, as she's clearly spent her life brushing off any and all flirtation to talk about the evils of mammals instead and is relying on magic pheremones to be sexy anyway

where do you apply for a bat credit card? does batman have a credit history? do locations have those signs like "we take visa, discover, mastercard, amex, bat"

ahnold is just so happy to be here

why is dick so butthurt about this not being an equal partnership. he's your fuckin dad, dude

"What is batman, if not an effort to master the chaos that sweeps our world? An attempt to control death itself?"

Seriously, I love the aesthetic of this gotham. Arkham Asylum is a gothic nightmare. Random condemned warehouses house color-coordinated gangs of glowy UV ruffians. It should be illegal for gotham to have fewer than five colossus statues

if we get a live-action Batman Beyond movie, I need it to use this aesthetic. Please make it actually good, but, you know… the aesthetic.

oh no, that poor motorcyclist crashed into one of gotham's many barrels of glitter and pale turquoise fire

all right, dick anonymously entering the motorcycle race, acrobatically rescuing himself and barbara from a crash, and then pulling off his helmet while precariously dangling off a bridge to go "so THIS is where you hang out :D" is some seriously quality nightwing energy

"Just don't tell me you wanna run off and join the circus"

oh no what is this WHAT IS THIS

is she literally wearing gardening gloves

I love it when they're like "we got this footage off the security cameras" and it's just the movie footage again but grainy

I'm getting the strange feeling this director really knows how to appreciate the male form and kind of struggles to understand the appeal of the female one

"Try not to make a mess when you die" is a pretty killer line though

god the close-up on ivy's Villainous Stilettos really makes it visible how she's wobbling with every single step

this movie has so many subplots

I could go the rest of my life without seeing another dumb Love Potion plotline

the best part of the batfam is how literally none of the component dads (batman, alfred, etc) are willing to admit that they've functionally adopted everyone

everyone's being so dramatic. alfred only has stage one movie-disease. just freeze him

let's play "what famous skyscrapers got mosaic'd together to make this skyline"? I've spotted the empire state building and the carbide and carbon building so far

the batgirl suit's design makes "suit me up, Uncle Alfred" SO CREEPY

at least it doesn't have any female-presenting nips

seriously does ivy have any goals beyond mackin' on dudes and killing people

oh boy it's time for the Designated Girl Fight

they… took the footage of robin coming up for air…… and then reversed it……… was it really so hard to film him falling back in the water

the plant batgirl kicked ivy into was the one she was hanging out in when robin showed up… there's literally no reason to think it would hurt her

that fight was such a shitshow I didn't even have time to roll my eyes at "chicks like you give women a bad name"

the batarangs are clearly rubber and wiggle hilariously whenever there's a closeup

wait what the hell is up with this keyboard

ah, the endless hilarity of two actors in incredibly restrictive suits attempting to execute a convincing bout of fisticuffs

ahh, I forgot how movies used to show they were writing Strong Female Characters by having them state outright "no, dude character… I WILL DO THIS THING INSTEAD OF YOU." Barbara has done this THREE TIMES.

Robin tries to catch her with the grappling hook, instead she catches HIM! Robin runs off to do a computer thing, instead SHE does the computer thing! score one for the girlboss

"You're pretty good, little girl!"
"Watch and learn, little boy."

"Take two of these……… and call me in the morning."

no self-respecting poison ivy would ever pull a "he loves me not" on an innocent flower of any kind

yes, partners, and I'm sure you'll get many sequels with which to explore this magnificent partnership

how do you thinks cops #1 and #2 felt seeing these credits

Look, I'll level with you guys. That movie was ridiculous, campy, and had one of my least favorite contrived conflict subplots of all time. The effects were cheesy, the acting was only good in like two scenes, and some of the costumes physically hurt me to look at.
I had a blast!