Thread by @OSPyoutube

guys…… I have a very important question and I need you all to understand the consequences could be dire

should I watch and livetweet the second twilight movie

-R

nice to know a good 1,500 of you wanted this

Kristen Stewart's facial acting has improved since last movie! The vocal delivery seems to have diminished somewhat though

oooo is she having an existential nightmare of The Horrors Of Growing Old? dark

how DARE they pretend that vampires don't have reflections for the purposes of this nightmare after last movie

nice to know bella's NPC friendgroup continues to be blandly positive and totally sidelined by the romantic superplot

you are correct, bella, it IS creepy to date a 109-year-old, even if he DOES look 17, which he doesn't

this movie has dialed down the teal, stopped telling Kristen Stewart to avert her gaze and bite her lip every two seconds, and overall greatly improved the visual quality of this experience - though this just confirms that there's only so much you can do with this script

oh lovely, they picked the one scene from romeo and juliet where romeo talks about how being dead hasn't diminished juliet's beauty, wonder why

hmmmmmmm casually telling your girlfriend about how you contemplated suicide when you nearly lost her seems like a rather manipulative idea to drop mid-conversation

scuse me, if the number one volturi law is "maintain secrecy at absolutely all costs", why do they look and dress Like That

"you are my only reason to stay alive" oooh girl red flag

it does make sense bella wouldn't want to out-age her immortal boyfriend when ageless hotness is an immediate option but I'm getting the strange feeling her asking for his bite might be a Metaphor

bella should genuinely stop visiting the cullen house, bad shit always happens

"oh no a tiny papercut I must fling her into an entire row of glass vases to save her"

I have a question. If you're functionally immortal, why does your potential damnation MATTER? It's basically never gonna be relevant.

"Carlisle's supposed to be ten years older than he looks, people are starting to notice"? You moved here LAST YEAR. What is HAPPENING.

bella you shouldn't pressure your boyfriend for [vampire bite] before he's ready, now you've scared him off

"I'm coming."
"Bella… I don't want you to come."

props to them for delivering that exchange with straight faces

ooooooo this breakup is gooooooooofy

and the camera tilts into a dutch angle just so we know she feels Very Off-Balance

edward's got a lot of nerve whingeing for an entire movie about how I'm Dangerous and We Shouldn't Be Together and I Just Can't Stay Away and then breaking up with her first thing in the sequel

"don't do anything reckless" k I'll just take a nap on this nice comfy exposed forest floor

"I found her during one of my standard boxers-only nighttime jogs, don't be suspicious kthx"

okay two months into her nonstop depression fugue state and shrieking nightmares I feel like charlie should've looked into finding bella a therapist

"Girl's night. Shopping. I like it! Go… buy some… stuff."
yep charlie's the only bitch I respect around here

oh here's a brilliant idea, lemme go hang out with these catcalling biker bros in the hopes that my ex, who I am now hallucinating, will come to my rescue

what a surprisingly wholesome biker bro

"I hallucinate my ex when I'm in danger, so I should DEFINITELY be putting myself in more danger, because hallucinating him is just as good as being back with him"

listen just gonna put this out there, in the vampires-werewolves debate I am 100% team werewolf, because they're (a) not cursed hungering creatures of the night and (b) super cuddleable

the extent to which this movie puts the focus on age, age differences, "effective" ages and "age ain't nothing but a number" has me concerned

the problem is I'm not convinced by this horribly traumatic breakup because I wasn't convinced by the relationship and I'm also not convinced by this jacob thing

is it weird that the 16 to 18 age difference between jacob and bella is skeeving me out? I know it's only two years but 18 is bordering college and 16 is a lil baby sophomore. I know when I was in high school the senior guys who dated freshman and sophomore girls seemed skeevy

finally the npc friend squad treats bella with a realistic level of awkwardness after she ghosted them for three months

stop saying "face punch"

this fake action movie full of gunshots and wilhelm screams sounds like a significantly better time than the movie I'm currently watching

stop 👏 highlighting 👏 how 👏 young 👏 jacob 👏 is 👏 if he's supposed to be 👏 the new romantic lead 👏 because it's 👏 creeping 👏 me 👏 out 👏

bella needs to start maintaining a social circle outside of whoever she's flirting with because she's literally two hours away from an emotional breakdown at all times

oh, silly me, for some reason I assumed they had more romantic plot structures than just "sexy dude tells bella to leave him alone and they can't be friends anymore cuz he's a monster"

"You can't break up with me!" correct. you weren't dating.

my suspension of disbelief never survives long in romantic movies because like, why wouldn't you just… chill out? take up a hobby? start seeing someone else? idk man

oh hey it's the boss not-so-bad vampire from the last movie

hallucinatory edward is so judgy. "lie. lie BETTER." bitch come back and lie for yourself if you care so much

wow, that wolf looks…………… bad and not even physically present

fun worldbuilding question! if this native american tribe is all (or even mostly) werewolves, how in the hell were they historically forced onto this reservation? "oh sorry man looks like those soldiers were killed by wolves, terrible tragedy, a real threat this time of year"

"oh but what about the secrecy thing" nobody keeps a secret better than dead guys my dude

why is everyone SO BAD at hiding their supernatural shit in this movie? one bitchslap to the face and this guy turns into a werewolf in broad daylight

fun fact, that's not what "alphas" are. In the wild, wolf packs are loosely led by a mated breeding pair who are usually the parents of much of the pack, and the only ones who have pups. It's never a lone macho dude thing.

why are these werewolves psychic? why does everyone have to be psychic?? is it not enough to turn into a huge fuckoff wolf?

what kind of weak-ass werewolves only gain the ability to transform when vampires move into town?

somehow this all feels very boring and low-stakes, possibly because, once again, the vampire threat is completely informed, and everything else is just a lot of whingeing

I'm like 80% sure victoria was blonde last movie

the vampires are way more OP than any folkloric version and have basically no weaknesses, while the werewolves are totally dependent on vampires to get any of their powers and aren't even as tough as your most basic silver-allergic werewolf. wonder which the writer liked better

these movies really go out of their way to excuse supernaturally abusive boyfriends don't they

hey quick question, not for any self-serving purposes or anything, but uh. where the lady werewolves at

everyone's going on about protecting bella and how she's constantly in danger. know what would fix that? turning her into an immortal super-strong vampire with zero weaknesses

I have heard your replies about lady werewolves and I am Very Displeased. Buff lady werewolves are where it's at if you're not a dang coward

hmmmm don't like jacob's violent outbursts and "don't make me angry" stuff, red flag

look I know it's traditional for vampires and werewolves to have an elitist rivalry, but considering these werewolves are all native american, lily-white Alice calling him a mutt and a dog feels Extra Not Good

Wait, is this an idiot plot? Is this whole stupid climax built on a miscommunication? "He's arranging a funeral" plus Alice's scary vision has Edward convinced Bella is dead?? THAT is the climax of this movie???

am I reading too far into this that she flew "virgin airlines" or am I reading just far enough

ohhh michael sheen, really? why?

that's right, bella, stop your ex from taking off his shirt in public

"I just couldn't live in a world where you don't exist" edward my dude I have bad news about mortal lifespans and the consequences of not turning bella into a vampire

oh yea, when you're strapped for comedy, nothing beats the ol' awkward elevator ride

they really played up this whole "oh we're gonna meet the scary volturi" thing and yet somehow it all feels completely stakes-free, possibly because michael sheen's just talking about how cool and unique bella is

oh noooo she knows too much and she's immune to their powers I guess they have no choice but to… leave her alone, probably, god forbid anything happen to our intrepid heroine

"oh my GOD a HEROIC SACRIFICE for the ONE YOU LOVE I have NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS truly you are the most extraordinary being the world has ever seen"

alice's future vision doesn't work right on bella… how the hell has she seen future-vampire-bella? why is this prophecy being accepted in this court of vampire law?

look "we can't be together because of the danger of my life" doesn't typically mean "I'm gonna completely peace out of your life" because that DOES leave the person vulnerable to all the aforementioned danger. this is not complex

there's twenty minutes left in the movie, are we gonna deal with the killer vampire lady or what?

"It would be nice to not wanna kill you all the time." honestly jasper's probably my favorite, possibly cuz he doesn't talk much

let's get the whole family together to vote on if edward should [bite] bella, that's not weird

oh yea that's what this movie really needed, edward and jacob posturing at each other over Who Gets To Protect Bella

"Don't make me choose - cuz it'll be him." girl that IS a choice would you please just own it

not really digging how they turned jacob into a roided-out rage monster with some explicit "werewolves are predisposed to domestic abuse" thrown in. almost like we really need to make edward seem like a good, non-toxic option by comparison

they're not gonna deal with the vampire lady are they

are you serious

I don't CARE about "marry me bella" I care about the damn main antagonist you promised

wow. truly the empire strikes back of the franchise. a masterwork of writing. I especially liked how there were exactly no stakes and everything that happened here was pointless and based on lies, miscommunication and other such staples of the textbook Idiot Plot

there are HOW many movies?!