Thread by @OSPyoutube

I don't remember why I made this reminder for myself, but who am I to deny the whims of 3 AM -R

Sean Connery's dulcet tones could narrate the phone book and I'd watch it, but he will never convince me he's egyptian -R

is that my boy raiden??

oh yea the old parking lot swordfight, a classic and measured response to a stolen parking spot or impolite unsignalled left

I'm sorry, fight choreographers, I wish it weren't so, but there is literally no circumstance where a series of back-handsprings is the optimal maneuver

gotta be tough maintaining the secret world masquerade if you blow up an entire lot's worth of cars every time one of you dies

clancy brown???

honestly spending the better part of 500 years traveling around is as good an explanation as any for having such a goofy accent

okay I literally thought they had Clancy Brown dub over the young guy wearing three entire skeletons as armor because I couldn't conceive of him as having been a young man in 1986

oh wow that escalated quickly, we were at "mildly creepy bar encounter" two minutes ago and now it's a broadsword fight in a construction site

speaking of escalating quickly, everyone instantly hopping on the "connor miraculously survived so let's all kick his ass for probably being a witch" train

shoutout to angus, the only bitch in medieval scotland I respect

listen I don't care how long you've been accumulating money there's no way you're affording a two-story loft apartment in manhattan

sean connery as a peacock-feather-wearing spaniard named "juan sanchez" is definitely Something

how much did they have to pay Sean Connery to pretend he didn't know what haggis was

honestly mad respect to Heather, she's really taken the whole "sean connery comes out of nowhere to swordfight her husband for three weeks" thing very well

ah, the old "don't get attached to mortals because you'll be sad when they die" tactic, classic

oh no clancy brown

oh noooo not the mentor figuuuuure

"seven-foot lunatic with a broadsword" would go on my business cards if I could even halfway justify it

okay I genuinely love how they're handling connor's friendships throughout the generations, with him saving Rachel as a child in WWII and her now being a middle-aged Alfred figure to him

did NOT like them kissing though

"Whatever you say, Jack. You're the master race." 😎

I like how they handle Connor's centuries of experience translating as trope-savviness, and I also like how they're handling Brenda, her character is very interesting and her motivation of "I wanna know about this kickass way-too-advanced sword" totally makes sense

did queen write "who wants to live forever" specifically for this movie??

heather's old-people makeup is wildly unconvincing but I really love how they totally made it work for decades despite his immortality ಥ_ಥ

oh noooo not the immortal black best frieeeeend who could have predicted thiiiiiiis

scuze me, that regular dude who got fully impaled on a broadsword is recovering in a hospital? are we sure HE'S not immortal??

ah yes, the great enemy of secret immortals - paper trails

"For you, my bonny Heather. Happy birthday."

awkwardly having a very loud conversation about secret immortal blood vendettas in a crowded church is the real great enemy of the secret masquerade

connor: my mentor should have tried harder to cut of your head four hundred years ago
leatherdaddy krabs: lol that guy only HALF severed my head and I had a great time murdering him and assaulting his wife
the new yorker one pew over livetweeting the whole thing:

and with a fifteen-second jump from "stabbing self to prove immortality" to "full-on sex scene" we have our THIRD "that escalated quickly" of the movie

the stakes of this swordfight just keep getting higher

the love interest can bop the villain on the head once and give the hero a chance to recover, as a treat

connor appears to be absorbing the full power of Night On Bald Mountain

connor's grand prize is now he's psychic but also he can have kids and get old? Is that last part optional or mandatory

well that was interesting but I feel like I maybe didn't fully Get It