Thread by @stevecusswords

#Differentiation is an ongoing practice not something from which you graduate.

Two helpful questions:

1) Where do 'I' end and 'the other' begin?
2) What is mine to carry, what is theirs to carry, what is God's to carry?

Noticing reactivity and stopping the contagion is key

Some #differentiation steps:

1) Notice when you are becoming reactive.
2) Notice when someone else is becoming reactive.
3) Pre empt a difficult situation by clarifying values. Who are you? How do you want to be and not be? What character traits?

2/

Over time, you can begin to notice recurring patterns. With 'those types' of people, I tend to often do this behavior. Next step is the humble realization, 'those types' are not the problem, I am the problem.

Differentiation: dying to the need for someone to be different.

3/

"If only they would..."
"Why do they...."

Human. But futile. Differentiation asks, 'how can I stop the anxiety infection?'

'What am I doing to contribute to the problem?'

'What can I do to stop the pattern between us, or the reaction inside me?'

4/

Thus, 'what is God's, what is mine, what is theirs?'

We become more differentiated when we discover we are trying to become gods. 'I want that person to be different.'

That's God's Territory.

Repent and believe the good news: You ain't God.

Thanks be to God.

5/

What you can be, what God wants for you and from you, is to be fully you. Dying to false self, false needs, control. Very, very difficult. Daily death, hourly death, sometimes minutely death.

But on the other side of death - always resurrection.

6/

God is life. God is light. God is light.

Resurrected in the power and presence of the God who knows all and sees all and loves you.

When anxious about someone, you can notice, name, die to it, and experience identity resting and complete in Christ.

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