The predicament I’m in: I’m definitely what MH professionals would call “depressed,” “anxious” and pretty much fit the diagnosis known as “PTSD.” But... the most traumatizing thing that has ever happened to me, I can’t talk about with a MH “professional...” 1/ #psychtwitter
8. Whenever I asked them if the meds could cause some of this, they always said no way! So I believed them. They would say things like “you’ll have to take them for the rest of your life,” “you’ll never have kids,” “you’ll never heal” or “finish school.”
10. You can watch part of the story of what happened here: basically I developed #akathisia & SEVERE #benzo withdrawal. I could barely speak for 4 months, had seizure like episodes, constant intrusive suicidal thoughts for 22 months, & so much more.
11. As I tapered I got worse & worse. Dr said it was agitated depression & tried to prescribe lithium. I refused bc I knew that was not it. But it felt like something physically broke inside me. It wasn’t mental— like my CNS broke. He took me off abruptly because of SI (in 2016).
12. I kept going back to him to show him the research on #benzo withdrawal. He refused to read it. Diagnosed me with MS, TBI & poss nerve agent exposure. Bc NO WAY did a prescribed drug cause THIS! Or the way he abruptly stopped it. How could u sleep knowing the harm u caused?
13. I went back to him monthly for 14 months & made him write every single symptom I was experiencing. I tried to read those records recently... “pt believes she is experiencing benzo withdrawal & that brings her comfort.” So basically I’m delusional.
14. I tried other doctors too. Most said I pay too much attention to my bodily sensations or that maybe I have conversion disorder. Therapists didn’t believe either and just had that placating, condescending, clinical nod. There, there dear. 🙄
15. So while all of my peers from military, are able to talk to their dr, therapists & peers, I have to stay *mostly silent about the harm caused to me by #psychiatry #socialwork & #psychology. They made me doubt myself, lose myself, think of myself as only a patient FOR YEARS.
16. There are no therapists for those of us who’s brains, lives, social &familial relationships, sexuality, feminity, & humanity have been fractured by the current MH care system. To even bring up some of what is really going on for me is more #stigma than I can handle.
